Posted on 02/16/2025 1:51:16 PM PST by DFG
Local man Dennis Walters finally realized that the reason people play hockey is because it allows them to legally punch a Canadian directly in the face.
Puzzled for years as to why people would skate around in freezing temperatures with little sticks, Walters found the answer last night as he watched members of the U.S. hockey team repeatedly punch Canadians in the face.
"It all makes sense now," said Walters. "I just never got the appeal before. I had no idea throwing on a hockey jersey meant you could legally beat up a Canadian. I mean, that dude just launched a Canadian's face into plexiglass at thirty miles per hour, and apparently that's totally acceptable. Freaking awesome."
According to sources, American interest in hockey exploded overnight after people realized they could whack Canadians with sticks. "Wow, sign me up," said local man Bob Denton. "Punching Canadians is totally my thing. I don't know about this whole skating business, but I would love to slug a guy from Quebec in the mouth."
At publishing time, millions across the globe had suddenly become hockey players in hopes of getting in on the Canadian punching.
Not much on hockey but because of the hype I watched the beginning. 3 fights in 9 seconds ! What were the fights about?
“Not much on hockey but because of the hype I watched the beginning. 3 fights in 9 seconds ! What were the fights about?”
Establishing their authority and to blow off steam prior to playing actual hockey. Nothing wrong with it and had nothing to do with booing the US National Anthem. But it sure didn’t help.
Bet you a dollar the NHL planned it. It’s basically WWE Wrestling now.
Rumors are that Canada will bring in Ogie Oglethorpe for the rematch.
Canadian dollar or a real American Greenback?
I definitely DON’T need more Loonies in my life.
I don’t give a damn about a greenback dollar.
70’s Flyers. The Broad Street Bullies.
Question?? Who has more teeth...a one year old or a Hockey Player??
There was a great documentary about the Broad Street Bullies.
Even the blacks in Philadelphia rooted for them.
Greatest moment was in 1976 when the Soviet Hockey team came to Philly. Ed Snider was pissed that the Soviet Union was refusing to let Jews leave. The Flyers kicked the Soviets ass like the Eagles just did to the Chifes.
And the fans started chanting "They're Going Home! They're Going Home!"
Why waste the effort, they’re all losers.
Probably intimidation. Letting the other team know, they won’t back down.
Governor Trudeau had no comment.
Is Trudeau playing tonight??? Asking for a friend.
He had some epic battles with Terry O’Reilly.
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