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FBI Firearm Training Facility Replaces Paper Targets With Copies Of The Constitution
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/20/2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/20/2024 10:06:20 AM PDT by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a completely innocuous and in no way unconcerning recent update, the FBI Training Facility for Firearms and Small Weaponry has replaced all of its paper targets with copies of the Constitution of the United States.

According to anonymous sources within the FBI, the move was instituted in an attempt "to help agents in training practice shooting against the opponent they will most likely engage against in the field."

"We just want our agents to receive training that will help develop them for future combat," said FBI Director Christopher Wray as an FBI team practiced shooting down various copies of the Constitution with a sniper rifle, minigun, and bazooka on the range right behind him. "No, no, of course, there's no reason to worry! Do we look like we would ever abuse our power or be in any way corrupt? Get out of town, my man! We're just looking to produce top-notch shooters who could violate the Constitution with a 9mm at any range from five to forty-five meters!"

While several Republican lawmakers and nearly 100% of US citizens who have found out about the training change have expressed concern about the new targets, the FBI has assured everyone that "it's actually okay, since the CIA has been doing this same thing for years."

At publishing time, the FBI had also added silhouettes of Donald Trump as targets on their live-fire range.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: constitution; fbi; papertargets
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1 posted on 06/20/2024 10:06:20 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

This is entirely believable.


2 posted on 06/20/2024 10:08:16 AM PDT by gattaca (Once a nation loses control of its borders, it is no longer a nation...Ronald Reagan)
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To: DFG
Oh. I guess the civilian targets they used to use ran out?

 

Innocent Targets: images of ordinary people for gun ranges | US gun control  | The Guardian

 

Innocent Targets: Images Of Ordinary People For Gun Ranges

 

Innocent Targets: Images Of Ordinary People For Gun Ranges

 

Innocent Targets: Images Of Ordinary People For Gun Ranges, 47% OFF

3 posted on 06/20/2024 10:17:31 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (A truth that’s told with bad intent, Beats all the lies you can invent ~ Wm. Blake)
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To: DFG
It's round with concentric circles:


4 posted on 06/20/2024 10:20:01 AM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: DFG

The next day, the Constitutions were replaced with pamphlets critical of such things as repressive tolerance and warrantless searches.


5 posted on 06/20/2024 10:20:14 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (FBI out of Florida!)
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To: gattaca
>> At publishing time, the FBI had also added silhouettes of Donald Trump as targets on their live-fire range.

> This is entirely believable.

I am seriously concerned that the Left/DS will find a way to kill PDJT, possibly before the election, but if ihe wins, certainly after it.

6 posted on 06/20/2024 10:21:56 AM PDT by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
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To: dayglored

I think many people are concerned about that as well.


7 posted on 06/20/2024 10:25:58 AM PDT by gattaca (Once a nation loses control of its borders, it is no longer a nation...Ronald Reagan)
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To: Responsibility2nd
Just as a point of order, those "targets" you posted are propaganda posters published by the anti-gun so-called "Coalition to Stop Gun Violence".

You're looking for the "No More Hesitation" targets:

Which are used to teach the cops that ANY "civilian" with a gun is necessarily a criminal who should be killed instantly. Because "officer safety".

8 posted on 06/20/2024 10:29:44 AM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: Responsibility2nd

They were gonna use Obama’s birth certificate but couldn’t find it.


9 posted on 06/20/2024 10:30:19 AM PDT by bigbob
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To: DFG

I have my own collection of paper targets. It grows each day.


10 posted on 06/20/2024 10:30:55 AM PDT by fretzer
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To: DFG

I remember causing a bit of a ruckus with some targets that just happened to be UN blue with about a 2” dot. How was I supposed to know it was UN blue? 🙄


11 posted on 06/20/2024 10:40:59 AM PDT by Clay Moore (My pistol identifies as a cordless hole punch. )
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To: NorthMountain
You're looking for the "No More Hesitation" targets:

 

THANK YOU!

I went looking for this specifically. Naturally Google Search images would not return these pictures.

I'm glad you had them.

12 posted on 06/20/2024 10:41:00 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (A truth that’s told with bad intent, Beats all the lies you can invent ~ Wm. Blake)
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To: dayglored
Yeah, all the while importing tens of millions of potential assassins and supporting them on our dime, giving themselves "Plausible Deniability".

They have thought this through, very carefully.

13 posted on 06/20/2024 10:41:21 AM PDT by Eagles6 (Welcome to the Matrix . Orwell's "1984" was a warning, not an instruction manual. )
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To: bigbob

They were gonna use Obama’s birth certificate but couldn’t find it.

___________________________________________

Which birth certificate? Bammie has released some 4-5 different “authentic” certificates. All different.


14 posted on 06/20/2024 10:42:43 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (A truth that’s told with bad intent, Beats all the lies you can invent ~ Wm. Blake)
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To: Responsibility2nd

No worries ... by happy coincidence, I remembered the name of the targets the feebs were actually using.

IMO, they’d make great “don’t shoot” targets in a training or competition scenario.


15 posted on 06/20/2024 11:11:27 AM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: DFG

The hell with paper targets and ammunition... Use laser target systems. There will be too many live targets when it comes time to burn ammo.


16 posted on 06/20/2024 11:12:26 AM PDT by Jumper
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To: Jumper

One word: “recoil”.


17 posted on 06/20/2024 11:13:03 AM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: NorthMountain

Maybe a few rounds for uninitiated;)


18 posted on 06/20/2024 11:22:30 AM PDT by Jumper
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To: Jumper

Suit yourself ...


19 posted on 06/20/2024 11:25:57 AM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: NorthMountain
Reminds me of The Soldier with Kurt Russell:

The Soldier(1998): Children turned into killing machines

20 posted on 06/20/2024 11:33:58 AM PDT by mykroar ("It's Not the Nature of the Evidence; It's the Seriousness of the Charge." - El Rushbo)
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