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Dead Worm Found In RFK Jr.’s Brain Already Polling Higher Than Biden In 11 States
Babylon Bee ^ | 05/08/2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/08/2024 11:47:07 AM PDT by DFG

U.S. — Following the revelation that a deadly parasite was once removed from his skull, political experts were shocked to learn that the dead worm found in Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.'s brain was already polling higher than Joe Biden in 11 states.

The latest poll results indicated a large portion of the electorate had abandoned Biden in favor of the deceased parasite that had previously been lodged in RFK Jr.'s brain, leaving the White House scrambling to formulate a strategy to combat the dead worm.

"We weren't expecting to see numbers like these," said one high-ranking Biden campaign strategist under the condition of anonymity. "We considered the fact that Joe would struggle up against living competition, but seeing him fall behind a worm that isn't even alive is a huge red flag. We're really fighting an uphill battle here. And, from what I've heard, you never want to fight uphill."

A campaign team had already begun to coalesce around the dead brain worm, believing it to be the most viable candidate on the left to provide an alternative to Biden. "Brain Worm 2024!" shouted one excited campaign staffer. "Why risk another four years under a failed Biden administration when you can take a stand for a brighter, more prosperous future with a dead brain worm at the helm?"

At publishing time, rumors had begun swirling that the dead worm from RFK Jr.'s brain was in discussions to name the fly that landed on Mike Pence during a debate as its running mate.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; brain; polling; rfkjr; worm

1 posted on 05/08/2024 11:47:07 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

LOLOL!!


2 posted on 05/08/2024 11:48:34 AM PDT by Engraved-on-His-hands
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To: DFG

ROFLMAO! I just love the Babylon Bee!


3 posted on 05/08/2024 11:50:13 AM PDT by Jean2
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To: DFG

“biden Jealous, demands dead worm be implanted in his brain then yells at harris to “get your own!””.


4 posted on 05/08/2024 11:51:04 AM PDT by Qwapisking ("IF the Second goes first the First goes second" L.Star n )
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To: DFG

The worm in Biden’s brain is still alive and very hungry.


5 posted on 05/08/2024 11:58:03 AM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page. More photos added.)
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To: Qwapisking

Dead Parasitic Worm pretty much sums up Biden.


6 posted on 05/08/2024 11:58:04 AM PDT by Orosius (“Wake America Up Again )
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To: DFG

Wow! They’re just FAST!


7 posted on 05/08/2024 12:08:05 PM PDT by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: DFG

The way Biden is I’d have expect it would have been HIS case. He’s already had surgery to two brain aneurisms, IIRC.


8 posted on 05/08/2024 12:09:13 PM PDT by Gaffer
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To: DFG

KHAAAAAAAAN!!!


9 posted on 05/08/2024 12:09:42 PM PDT by mewzilla (Never give up; never surrender!)
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To: DFG

Dead worm is smarter and more coherent also.


10 posted on 05/08/2024 12:31:20 PM PDT by Roos_Girl (The world is full of educated derelicts. - Calvin Coolidge)
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To: DFG

With RFK the jokes write themselves.


11 posted on 05/08/2024 12:46:45 PM PDT by Chad C. Mulligan
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To: DFG

Reminds me of an old NIGHT GALLERY story. “The Caterpillar”(1972)


12 posted on 05/08/2024 12:46:59 PM PDT by Ruy Dias de Bivar ( Government is not reason, it is not eloquence-it is force!--G. Washington)
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To: DFG

Biden’s and Harris’s brain worms died of starvation.


13 posted on 05/08/2024 2:30:17 PM PDT by dynachrome ("God grant I don't outlive my wits.")
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To: DFG

Excellent!
Reminds me of the Bloom County cartoon were they ran a dead “Bill the Cat” for President.


14 posted on 05/08/2024 2:58:30 PM PDT by sjmjax
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