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Police Slowly Escort White Hearse Containing O.J. Simpson
Babylon Bee ^ | April 11, 2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 04/11/2024 9:03:45 AM PDT by Yo-Yo

Police Slowly Escort White Hearse Containing O.J. Simpson

LOS ANGELES, CA — Mourners and curious onlookers alike gathered along the 405 freeway in Southern California to bear witness as Los Angeles Police vehicles slowly escorted a white For Bronco hearse containing O.J. Simpson.

The procession, which traveled at a low speed with law enforcement working to prohibit any other vehicles from getting on the freeway, allowed onlookers to have one final chance to see Simpson being followed by police officers.

"One last time, for old time's sake," said one witness who watched the white Bronco roll by followed by dozens of police cruisers. "He died as he lived. It's poetic when you think about it. And you have to feel for the police, too. They never really did catch him, did they? And yet here they are, still pursuing him. Really makes you think."

An LAPD spokesman described the mood of the procession. "We felt it was important," said Officer Reginald Johnson. "We began our pursuit of the perp — sorry, we began escorting the procession for the deceased as it left the Brentwood area and continued to follow until it reached its destination. We advised officers to keep a close eye on the hearse to make sure it wasn't trying to flee. You just never know."

At publishing time, crowds along the road were cheering as O.J. stayed ahead of the police one last time. "He did it again!" said onlooker Shawn Grimes. "I mean, he didn't ‘do it.' That's not what I meant. Sorry, that was a poor choice of words."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylon; bee; bronco; noclassonfr; simpson
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Burn in Hell, OJ.
1 posted on 04/11/2024 9:03:45 AM PDT by Yo-Yo
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To: Yo-Yo

White hearse?


2 posted on 04/11/2024 9:05:27 AM PDT by ABStrauss (I miss Rush! )
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To: Yo-Yo
Escorted?


3 posted on 04/11/2024 9:06:06 AM PDT by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
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To: Yo-Yo

I’m very unclear about the truth in that pic, but:

LOL

BB is on a roll regarding Orenthal.


4 posted on 04/11/2024 9:08:18 AM PDT by Paladin2
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To: ABStrauss

Should have been a White Bronco


5 posted on 04/11/2024 9:08:21 AM PDT by shadeaud (God gave us the free will and intelligence to choose right from wrong. Use it or lose it!)
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To: shadeaud

It was. A white Bronco hearse in the pic. The Bee is awesome.


6 posted on 04/11/2024 9:10:29 AM PDT by Sirius Lee (Do not submit)
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To: ABStrauss
White hearse?

Are you too young to remember the White Bronco "low speed chase" with his friend Al Cowlings at the wheel, and OJ in the back holding a gun to his own head?

https://www.independent.co.uk/tv/news/oj-simpson-death-car-chase-white-bronco-b2527212.html

7 posted on 04/11/2024 9:11:56 AM PDT by Yo-Yo (Is the /Sarc tag really necessary? Pray for President Biden: Psalm 109:8)
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To: Yo-Yo

A play on this “chase”

LIVE: OJ Simpson on the run in 1994 Full version Bronco Chase
June 17, 1994
https://rumble.com/vusw0m-oj-simpson-on-the-run-june-17-1994-live.html


8 posted on 04/11/2024 9:12:36 AM PDT by janetjanet998 (Legacy media including youtube are the enemy of the people and must die)
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To: Magnum44

“And Baba Booey to Y’all!”


9 posted on 04/11/2024 9:13:53 AM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: shadeaud

I’m sure that was the intended analogy.


10 posted on 04/11/2024 9:17:49 AM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: Yo-Yo

Glad to see the POS is gone.

Enjoy hell, you murdering POS. (spits)

Noy worth making fun of because there is nothing funny here.


11 posted on 04/11/2024 9:20:04 AM PDT by ASOC (This space for rent)
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To: Yo-Yo

The NY Slimes did a real puffball piece on his passing, but AMAZINGLY, they included THIS!

“Calls to the Police

The abuse left Nicole Simpson bruised and terrified on scores of occasions, but the police rarely took substantive action. After one call to the police on New Year’s Day, 1989, officers found her badly beaten and half-naked, hiding in the bushes outside their home. “He’s going to kill me!” she sobbed. Mr. Simpson was arrested and convicted of spousal abuse, but was let off with a fine and probation.

The couple divorced in 1992, but confrontations continued. On Oct. 25, 1993, Ms. Simpson called the police again. “He’s back,” she told a 911 operator, and officers once more intervened.

Then it happened. On June 12, 1994, Ms. Simpson, 35, and Mr. Goldman, 25, were attacked outside her condominium in the Brentwood section of Los Angeles, not far from Mr. Simpson’s estate. She was nearly decapitated, and Mr. Goldman was slashed to death.

The knife was never found, but the police discovered a bloody golf glove at the scene and abundant hair, blood and fiber clues. Aware of Mr. Simpson’s earlier abuse and her calls for help, investigators believed from the start that Mr. Simpson, 46, was the killer. They found blood on his car and, in his home, a bloody golf glove that matched the one picked up near the bodies. There was never any other suspect.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/11/sports/oj-simpson-dead.html

And yet, a jury did not convict him! What a travesty. :(


12 posted on 04/11/2024 9:36:30 AM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have, 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set. )
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To: Yo-Yo

Good riddance OJ, a long time coming, hell is a little hotter today.


13 posted on 04/11/2024 9:38:44 AM PDT by kenmcg (ti hi o)
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To: Yo-Yo

Well...I bet he’s found the real killer...


14 posted on 04/11/2024 9:40:33 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Yo-Yo

Dang! LOL.


15 posted on 04/11/2024 9:43:03 AM PDT by stevio (Fight until you die.)
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To: Yo-Yo

lol....that’s a good story. well done.


16 posted on 04/11/2024 9:43:26 AM PDT by DouglasKC
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To: Yo-Yo
OMG! The Bee is bust-a-gut funny! White Ford truck hearse (spoofing the infamous white Bronco chase).

Maybe the driver was wearing gloves that didn't fit!

17 posted on 04/11/2024 9:44:10 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: Yo-Yo

“Tickle Me OJ”
by Paul Shanklin
(starts at 6:38 mark)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wx7MDNsjGs8&ab_channel=Beetlemuse


18 posted on 04/11/2024 9:44:57 AM PDT by Tom Tetroxide
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To: Yo-Yo

“Tickle Me OJ”
by Paul Shanklin
(starts at 6:38 mark)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wx7MDNsjGs8&ab_channel=Beetlemuse


19 posted on 04/11/2024 9:44:57 AM PDT by Tom Tetroxide
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To: Yo-Yo

Go Juice, GO!


20 posted on 04/11/2024 9:45:41 AM PDT by RckyRaCoCo (Time to throw them out of the Temple...again)
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