Farming Is Wrecking the Climate [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 January 2024 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Special Presidential Envoy for Climate John Kerry gave a speech at the World Economic Forum calling for "an end to farming. Once we can inform people that agriculture contributes about 33% of all the CO2 emissions of the world we may be able to get the widespread support we need to eliminate this major source of climate change. In our modern world very few people buy their food from farmers. Most of them get their food from supermarkets. I, myself, get most of my food from restaurants and official banquets like the one we're all having here today. So, farming is far less important than it once was. Governments around the world need to impose regulations and penalties that will divert the efforts of farmers into more beneficial uses."

"While there is plenty of food at supermarkets there are millions who cannot afford to buy it," Kerry pointed out. "Governments can play a bigger role to mitigate this inequity by transferring wealth from those who have too much--like farmers--and giving it to those who don't have enough--like refugees. Hard work like farming requires a more robust diet. The idleness facilitated by government welfare minimizes caloric needs. So, by shifting more of the human population away from the high calories needed to work toward the lower calories needed to sit around watching TV will reduce the amount of food needed."

Chairman of the House Committee on Agriculture Glenn Thompson (R-Pa) lambasted Kerry's criticism of agriculture as "imbecilic. First of all, without farmers there would be no food in the supermarkets, restaurants, or fancy banquets Mr. Kerry cites as better alternatives. Second, growing crops absorb CO2 and emit oxygen. They are part of a process that enables all animal life on the planet. Third, throughout Earth's history the climate has changed. At times CO2 concentrations have been larger than they are currently. This includes periods when there were no humans. Obviously, there are more potent influences on climate than burning the fossil fuels that make life as comfortable and feasible as it is in the modern world."

Apprised of Thompson's criticism, Kerry brushed it aside "as the kind of self-serving propaganda one should expect from a life-long dairy farmer."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,523078.0.html

[Track9]

Big mike’s veggie garden killing the peasants.

[Jim W N]

Everybody know where this is going.

It's not farming, the Bossa Nova, or the Man in the Moon that wrecks the climate, the environment, or the earth, it's PEOPLE. WE MUST GET RID OF PEOPLE!!!!

The Left, driven by the spirit of antichrist, is Satan's tool in these last days. Satan, who HATES God and therefore HATES man who was made in God's image, wants to kill as many as he can. The Left is obliging.

The Left will get their wish soon enough, just not yet. When they do, THEY will be surprised when THEY are included in the Kill Box.

[Reno89519]

Well, if all the climate hysteria folks would hold their breadth until they die, the rest of us AND THE EARTH will be just fine. They should make the ultimate sacrifice for their cult.

[Rlsau1]

If all the people who believed the “climate change” tripe would stop eating, driving, breathing, etc. it would make the world a better place for all of us “less enlightened “ types, to say nothing of saving the planet.

[Candor7]

We continue to use the worst kind of garden fertilizers which impact huge carbon footprinting :

1) Chicken manure ,which produces methane and ammonia in vast qualtities. All chickens need to be slaughtered,,,,Be good eggs ,give up eggs, and ban the raising of chickens.

2)Clam and Scallop shells along with their waste innards, whichi produce vast aboits of toxic nematoads , in the decay process and toxic gas which will effect the nervous system of human beans.YThe nematoads host tapeworm egges whichi worl theor way up the food chain to cause runinants to produce vast quantities of methane..Ban all shell fishing, it will ruin our planet.

Eat insects and be happy. Nothing like a batch of stir fried grasshoppers.

Only John Kerry and His Davos friends will be allowed to eat chicken and shellfish, as well as beef steak. We peasants? We eat bugs.

I can hardly wait to vote for the green new feel.

The farmers in Holland are not allowed to raise cows anymore...

YOu can’t make this shit up.

President Trump....beam me up !

[JJBookman]

The Dems are going to do to farming what they’ve done to

mining and manufacturing in America.

Thanks Biden voters!

[mountainlion]

I wonder how much climate change that Taylor Swift girl’s makeup is causing?

[JJBookman]

...replace Agent Smith with 0bama and it’s perfect!

[No name given]

Well said.

[No name given]

I agree.

[Mark]

NOW-
A new wonderful Department!

The Office of Climate Change and Health Equity (OCCHE)

https://www.hhs.gov/ash/ocche/index.html