Hamas Leader Appointed Senior Fellow At Harvard University

Babylon Bee ^ | 10/27/2023 | Babylon Bee

[DFG]

CAMBRIDGE, MA — Notorious Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh will soon be relocating to the U.S. as a Senior Fellow at Harvard University in the field of international relations.

"We are honored to welcome such an austere scholar to these hallowed halls," said Harvard Dean Rakesh Khurana. "Mr. Haniyeh brings with him a wealth of knowledge and experience in diplomacy, public relations, and terrorizing innocent Jews — all things we prize highly here at Harvard. We know his valuable and unique perspective will expand the young minds who come here to learn."

Sources say the position will add to the diversity of the staff and provide Haniyeh with a salary of $780,000 per year.

"Inshallah, I hope to remain in this position for years to come, molding young minds to seek the glory of martyrdom as they spill the blood of the Jews," said Haniyeh. "Death to Israel and death to America. Allahu Akbar."

At publishing time, the Dean had politely asked Haniyeh to please stop throwing rocks at Jews in the quad.

[MinorityRepublican]

Thought it was real first for a moment

[Telepathic Intruder]

Completely false headline. He’s actually been hired as a professor.

[Paladin2]

A perfesser of Jihad?

[inchworm]

Hamasvard.

[Degaston]

When does Congress send the “Allahu Akbar” Amendment to the States?

1. The rights of government leadera to do what they think is best shall not be questioned.
2. When a government leader says “Allahu Akbar” then everything they say or do shall be legally binding upon all until the Day of Tribulation.

Suppose we had such an Amendment. What would the impact be? Unfortunately, most K-12 public schools and universities aren’t teaching their students to think critically to be able to answer this question :(

[hellinahandcart]

Ack, they got me again. I was totally suckered in until I read the words “austere scholar.”

[Telepathic Intruder]

A progressive professor of jihad and other useful skills.

[bantam]

Omg. Got me for about 10-15 seconds. 🤦‍♂️

[Maine Mariner]

So did I. It seemed so plausible!

[Does so]

Title (with source) got a snort out of me...

[Falconspeed]

“Got me for five seconds.” Got me for thirty seconds. I couldn’t believe it. Really? No way. Oh, Babylon Bee. “Oops. Nevermind.”

[The_Media_never_lie]

It took me a while to realize this is the Babylon Bee. It sounds like something Harvard would do.

[piytar]

I thought the Bee was supposed to be satire. This article appears to be more historical than satire (although some names are different).

[piytar]

Try this in Texas.

Yup. Try it scumbags (obviously not referring to you AndyJackson).

I used to live in Texas. Culturally still a Texan. Throw rocks at people of Jewish faith around me, I won't play. I will protect my Jewish brethren to the extent necessary.

A (according to the left) white male Christian.

[piytar]

Oopps, messed up the last line. Re-do:

A (according to the left a racist hate filled evil) white male Christian.

[SunkenCiv]

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[GOPJ]

Got me for a few seconds....