Musk's Twitter Purchase Fails After 138,000 Board Votes Found Overnight

The Babylon Bee ^ | April 26th, 2022 | Uncredited

[shadowlands1960]

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Elon Musk’s bid to purchase Twitter came up short after 138,000 board votes were found at 2 a.m., a company spokesman confirmed Tuesday. Musk had been in talks to purchase the company for $44 billion.

“We really thought Musk was going to pull this one out,” said Twitter CEO Parag Agrawal. “The yes votes had a strong lead when I went to bed last night, but that was before we counted all the mail-in votes that one of our employees found in locker 142 at the bus terminal.”

When the final votes were tallied, the takeover bid failed by a final tally of 10 votes for, 138,000 votes against. While the final result came as a shock to most observers, Agrawal said the election was fair. “Twitter takes election integrity very seriously,” he noted. “I can confidently say this was the most secure election in American history.”

[Jamestown1630]

It must be a lot of fun to work at The Bee and write this stuff all day.

[Bob434]

Yep,I agree. They are christians too which woil,d make it even better imo. Our family has a warped sense of humor, so,the bee’s stuff is right up,our alley

[Pollard]

Enraging yet funny

[Bob434]

Another great pub,inaction was Jack handy quotes, and also,the far side- such great minds working at all,three places. (I wish these two,were still going though, we had more laughs over them over the years.)

[z3n]

Introducing: The American Tourister Ballot 5000

[Vision]

Hilarious.

[Ann Archy]

LOL!!!

[Jamestown1630]

I miss Gary Larson. I think my husband has some of the books.

I wasn’t familiar with Jack Handy - thanks.

[Bishop_Malachi]

Musk’s Twitter Purchase Fails After 138,000 Board Votes Found Overnight

_________________________________________________

This has happened to conservatives so many times in the past, that - for a split second - I thought it could be true.

[Clay Moore]

This is one of the best Bee articles ever! LOL

[crz]

ROFLOL!

[TribalPrincess2U]

Gotcha! lol

[Mr. K]

They must be using Dominion machines

[Mr. K]

LOL !!!!

THEY GOT ME

I love it though...

(Babylon Bee)

[TribalPrincess2U]

Are you happy or sad? From your pic, it looks like you outed yourself.

[SunkenCiv]

The Babylon Bee, of course. Meanwhile, over in the DNC Talking Point dinomedia:

• Russian trolls and Liberals Fume over Elon Musk Twitter Purchase: 'It's About White Power' [04/26/2022]
• 'Elon Is the Singular Solution I Trust': Jack Dorsey Throws Support Behind Musk After Twitter Takeover Approved [04/26/2022]
• Trump Has a Message for Nancy-Boy Bed Wetters Worried That He'll Return to Twitter [04/26/2022]
• Mastercard: 'ESG Goals Will Now Factor into Bonus Calculations for All Employees' [04/26/2022]
• Liberal Corporations Are Confused and Scared Because Conservatives Now Fight Back [04/25/2022]
• Ron DeSantis Gives Republicans Path to Block Biden Agenda [04/26/2022]
• DeSantis calls San Francisco a 'dumpster fire,' fears Californians importing 'destruction' to Florida [04/26/2022]
• Transhumanist Theorist Calls the AI-Unenhanced 'Useless People' [04/26/2022]
• Poll: Majority Believe Joe Biden Not Fit for Presidency, Doubt Mental Ability [04/26/2022]
• Investigators in Georgia ballot harvesting probe zero in on funding, eyewitness whistleblower [04/26/2022]
• Biden says he will grant millions to jobs, housing for formerly incarcerated people [04/26/2022]
• Trump-backed candidate rockets to front of NC GOP Senate primary [04/26/2022]
• Cassidy fundraises for Greene's opponent [04/26/2022]

[M Kehoe]

The Bee rocks.

5.56mm

[GOPJ]

Elon Musk’s bid to purchase Twitter came up short after 138,000 board votes were found at 2 a.m., a company spokesman confirmed Tuesday. Musk had been in talks to purchase the company for $44 billion.

"Found" in the trunk of a car belonging to a democrat. Anyone who challenges this 'discovery' is an insurrectionists and the FBI will be a comin' for you...

[GOPJ]

ping

Found in the trunk of some democrat’s car... anyone who objects to the find will receive a visit from the FBI...

[consult]

Deja vu!

Has anyone seen the Bee’s podcast with Musk from last December. Fairly interesting chat.

https://youtu.be/jvGnw1sHh9M