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John Kerry Orders Emergency Airdrop Of Solar Panels To Ukraine To Offset Carbon Emissions
Babylon Bee ^ | 02/25/2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/25/2022 1:07:52 PM PST by DFG

KYIV—Ukraine is under attack by its aggressive neighbor Russia, and Climate Czar John Kerry couldn't just sit around and do nothing. Kerry immediately hopped in his private jet, picked up a stack of solar panels, and flew them into war-torn Ukraine to airdrop them to citizens and soldiers about to get hit hard by the Russian army.

"This will help offset your missiles' carbon emissions!" Kerry shouted down at the surrounded Ukrainians. "You're welcome!" Kerry says he hopes the solar panels will help the Ukrainians achieve carbon neutrality in the midst of a full-on attack by Russia.

The move comes after Kerry called on allied nations to not lose sight of the important thing during the Russian invasion of Ukraine: climate change. Kerry said he couldn't sit idly by and had to put his money where his mouth is when it comes to action on climate change.

"So, I fired up ol' Bessy -- that's what I call my private jet here -- and sprang into action," Kerry said proudly. "These puppies oughtta power a good two, two-and-a-half homes during the Russian invasion. And once Ukraine upgrades to green, all-electric tanks, they should be able to plug in and power them up to help defend against the Ruskies."

Future missions will see Kerry airdropping wind turbines, carbon credits, and reusable straws.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; carbon; kerry; solarpanels; ukraine
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1 posted on 02/25/2022 1:07:52 PM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

With some cases of Grey Poupon.


2 posted on 02/25/2022 1:09:46 PM PST by bray (The Vax is fake and deadly)
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To: DFG

Hope they don’t fall on anyone’s head and kill them.

Oh well, that’s progress.


3 posted on 02/25/2022 1:10:07 PM PST by ImJustAnotherOkie (Let's go Brandon)
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To: DFG

Ok the Babylon Bee is getting too real 🤣


4 posted on 02/25/2022 1:12:11 PM PST by Magnetar
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To: DFG

AOC wants to send battery cars so the Ukrainians won’t need energy 🤪


5 posted on 02/25/2022 1:13:07 PM PST by NWFree (Somebody has to say it)
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To: DFG

Kerry is a dope (and a traitor). Deserves the B’s attack.


6 posted on 02/25/2022 1:15:16 PM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
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To: DFG

Maybe Kerry can fly around the world in a private jet to waste some more jet fuel.


7 posted on 02/25/2022 1:16:14 PM PST by FreedBird
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To: DFG

Keep the solar panels. Airdrop Kerry.


8 posted on 02/25/2022 1:16:55 PM PST by Jim Robinson (Resistance to tyranny is obedience to God.)
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To: DFG

The difference between reality and the Bee: probably a few weeks if that.


9 posted on 02/25/2022 1:18:11 PM PST by cdcdawg (Everyone who disagrees with me is a Qtard blogger!!!!)
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To: DFG

Please hurry...the planet is dying!


10 posted on 02/25/2022 1:18:25 PM PST by Adder (Proud member of the FJBLGB community: /s is implied where applicable.)
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To: DFG

I actually believed this given it’s Kerry we are talk’in about. He typifies it doesn’t take intelligence to serve in gov’t.


11 posted on 02/25/2022 1:20:04 PM PST by Son-Joshua (son-joshua)
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To: DFG

LOL...perfect! Another Bee home run.


12 posted on 02/25/2022 1:20:36 PM PST by ProtectOurFreedom (If truckers quit their jobs, society would collapse. If politicians quit their jobs...HALLELUJAH!)
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To: DFG

Whatever The Bee is paying their writer’s it’s not enough.


13 posted on 02/25/2022 1:20:52 PM PST by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave)
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To: DFG

His ‘private jet.’ OMG, these people are simply too much.


14 posted on 02/25/2022 1:21:27 PM PST by Radix (Politicians; the Law and the Profits )
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To: DFG

The US military is lending their trannies to Ukraine to repel Russian troops.


15 posted on 02/25/2022 1:22:02 PM PST by enumerated
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Too close to reality


16 posted on 02/25/2022 1:25:58 PM PST by dsrtsage ( Complexity is just simple lacking imagination)
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To: DFG
Another headline from the Babylon Bee:

"Taiwan Enjoys Free Sneak Peek At What Will Happen To Them In Just A Few Weeks"

17 posted on 02/25/2022 1:35:53 PM PST by Carl Vehse (A proud member of the LGBFJB community)
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To: DFG

The shattering glass from the solar panels hitting the ground could cause the Russian tanks to get a flat tread! :)


18 posted on 02/25/2022 1:41:03 PM PST by howlinhound (Live your life so that, when you get up in the morning, Satan says, "Oh Crap!..He's awake" - Unknown)
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To: DFG

OK. I bought the headline.


19 posted on 02/25/2022 1:43:35 PM PST by Sir Bangaz Cracka (Poor 'lil Travon bees slamming dat white cracka'a head into dat sidewalk causin he be scared)
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To: DFG

Bookmark


20 posted on 02/25/2022 1:43:59 PM PST by aquila48 (Do not let them make you "care" ! Guilting you is how they control you. )
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