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Bernie Sanders Drops Out As Campaign Goals Of Locking Everyone Up, Destroying Economy Already Achieved (satire)
The Babylon Bee ^ | April 8th, 2020 | Staff

Posted on 04/09/2020 8:09:01 AM PDT by Old Man From WV

BURLINGTON, VT—Bernie Sanders has dropped out of the presidential race since his campaign goals have already been achieved. These goals consisted mostly of locking everyone up in gulags and destroying the economy.

As the coronavirus panic has already accomplished the aims of his socialistic policies, Sanders realized the country didn't need his public service anymore. Unemployment has skyrocketed, grocery stores have empty shelves, and everyone is confined to their homes on penalty of arrest. This "idyllic paradise" is exactly what Sanders wanted in the first place, so he says he can leave the race satisfied that his vision has been achieved.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; bee; berniesanders; satire; vermont
The best satire is that which is very close to the truth. Snopes still labels the Bee as fake news.
1 posted on 04/09/2020 8:09:01 AM PDT by Old Man From WV
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To: Old Man From WV

Well, I heard him say that pedo joe has 300 more delegates than him and that he is suspending his campaign. Is that the same as dropping out and releasing his delegates? I did see a post from a bur-knee bro person someplace. Someone has hijacked the bernie 2020 banner and it now says “RIOT 2020 Bern This MO FO down!” Except more explicitly. Guess they may not vote for pedo joe. If you know any bur-knee bros, you should encourage them to boycott the elections or vote for PDJT to show those dem elites a thing or two. :-)


2 posted on 04/09/2020 8:15:42 AM PDT by rktman ( #My2ndAmend! ----- Enlisted in the Navy in '67 to protect folks rights to strip my rights. WTH?)
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To: Old Man From WV

Wait a minute.

I thought The Babylon Bee was supposed to be satire.......


3 posted on 04/09/2020 8:19:26 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith..)
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To: Old Man From WV

hardly satire today.


4 posted on 04/09/2020 8:19:36 AM PDT by eyeamok
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To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; cardinal4; ColdOne; ...
Are we sure this was Babylon Bee? It doesn't read like satire. ;^)

5 posted on 04/09/2020 8:26:12 AM PDT by SunkenCiv (Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie.)
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To: Old Man From WV

lol

snopes referred to the New Testament as an abomination once years ago..

So I don’t like using them.


6 posted on 04/09/2020 8:51:27 AM PDT by dp0622 (Radicals, racists dont point fingers at me I'm a small town white boy Just tryin to make ends meet)
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To: Old Man From WV
Funny as usual from Babylon Bee... 👍
7 posted on 04/09/2020 11:24:01 AM PDT by Deplorable American1776 (Proud to be a DeplorableAmerican with a Deplorable Family...even the dog is, too. :-))
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To: Old Man From WV

The Bee nails it.
Sanders, in his drop-out speech, actually stated, “we are winning the ideological battle.”
I agree. The Overton window has shifted seismically leftward.


8 posted on 04/09/2020 1:22:15 PM PDT by mumblypeg
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