Posted on 10/03/2015 2:27:03 PM PDT by PROCON
There exists in this world a condiment below all others. It has all of the flavor of sawdust and the sublime texture of soap scum. Until recently, I was unaware that The Federalist, lovers of freedom, etc., was complicit in its spread. I rise today to defend America—nay, the world—against such scurrilous anti-food propaganda.
As all Americans, especially Texans, know, mayonnaise is a tool of oppression used by communists and bland-food lovers everywhere. It is a form of mind control designed to cow you into a sense of complacency about life. Food has flavor, and mayo covers that flavor up. It destroys your ability to taste.
What do you do to a food if it is too intense, and you’re not Texan? You add mayonnaise. In much the same way that salt is used to flavor food, mayonnaise is used to bland it. It is flavor’s anti-particle: it annihilates on contact.
Hello, People: The French Invented Mayonnaise
(Excerpt) Read more at thefederalist.com ...
If you really want to experience the optimum sandwich spread.
Durkees Famous Sauce. Wowza!
I was at a wedding, long ago, when they decided to “save money” - so they self-catered, including the mac-salad (complete with Mayo). The weather was warm.
Several in Emergency Room, 100 people missed work much of the next week
Best advice...stay clear of Mayo, especially if you cannot directly target the culprit in a lawsuit.
There are a few southern brands that are actual mayonnaise.
If someone doesnt like miracle whip, and then claims they dont like mayo, its probably because they hever had real mayonnaise.
Peanut Butter and Mayonnaise sandwiches. Yum. Better than Fluff.
I’m with you.
I personally go through a jar per month.
IB4TZ :-)
I love mayo.
Miracle Whip is disgusting.
Hello, spirit brother
Mayonnaise has very specific uses. Such as in salads, like tuna salad, chicken salad, and tuna/pasta and potato. After that, it has no value and is not used anywhere else on anyhting that I am interested in eating.
I had no idea if other people did the same. I've never seen anyone else put mayo on roost beef. I thought I might be the only one in this quadrant of the universe that did it.
You can’t make decent tuna salad or tartar sauce without Hellman’s.
Amen! I put mayonnaise on eveything but cereal. Don’t try to pound everyone into the same mold.
I don’t like hot and spicy. I love a fine cigar, but not too robust. I like good coffee, but despise Starbucks. However, I DO enjoy a fine scotch or bourbon with just 1 ice cube.
I gotta’ be me. You go ahead and be you.
I have to use Miracle Whip salad dressing. Mayonnaise never fails to give me a sick stomach. Have tried it too many times. And it tastes better.
You absolutely took the words right out of my ... err ... keyboard (except for ketchup — they’re a must on french fries).
That isnt the mayo’s fault.
I’m not a fan of Bezos, but when he can supply the nectar of the gods, it’s ok.
The reason God invented artichokes.
Best Foods Mayonnaise.
Hi there, going over to the FREEPATHON next...
Pocket change next!
BTW...That photo of a jar of mayo would REALLY sing if it were a jar of Duke’s mayonnaise.
I'm going to have to try that.
Any spread with bacon is definitely a Condiment.
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