Posted on 10/02/2015 1:07:16 PM PDT by The Looking Spoon
Here is their leader...
There's a recent article in the "Men's Style" section of the New York Times titled 27 Ways to Be a Modern Man.
You should never judge a book by its cover, except for now. This is as bad as you'd imagine. Maybe worse.
I won't list all 27, just the worst five, with comment. You can see all 27 here and I recommend you do, because it was extremely difficult to pick the worst five.
1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.When any man buys shoes for his spouse AND knows how brands are sized the spouse is also a man because that couple is gay. That is the ONLY scenario where this makes any sense whatsoever.
I barely buy shoes for myself, and it's after my current pair (as in one) is getting made fun of by homeless people. Even then all I try to do is find the same exact pair.
So what's this BS about me buying shoes for my wife? I @#$% up buying her preferred brand of soap, and we use the same shower.
8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.I recently got into a huge back and forth with a liberal on Tumblr that started because I mocked a different liberal for using the term "post abortive person." Apparently my "gauche simpleton" mind doesn't understand that it's "cissexist" to think that because women are not the only people of getting pregnant.
I think this one needs a rewrite: "The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “progressive” not “deluded sociopath bent on destroying all things moral and decent” like some gauche simpleton."
17. Does the modern man have a melon baller? What do you think? How else would the cantaloupe, watermelon and honeydew he serves be so uniformly shaped?Melons weren't the first thing that baller scooped...again, "heterosexual" doesn't seem to be a piece that will fit in this particular puzzle.
Let's say, for the sake of argument, that a hetero man does serve perfectly formed melon balls to his buddies, it better be so they could do target practice out of his home-made melon-ball gun while waiting for the delivery of their cheese stuffed crust pizza topped with bacon stuffed pork under a block of cheese that resides over beer marinated tomato sauce.
21. The modern man doesn’t scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.This is oddly specific and descriptive. Is this some sort of euphemism for abortion?
25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.That's because the melon baller did it's job. #16 didn't make the top five, but it was about protecting the wife...apparently the author isn't serious about that. I'd expect nothing less from a New York Times wiener. If only we could show gun-owning troglodytes they can defend themselves from a gun without a gun in a way that's less make-believe than Kryptonian DNA.
That problem was solved quite a few years ago in our household. After years of racking our respective brains and buying some objects that went unused, the husband and I agreed that it’s dumb to buy each other gifts.
We show our love, instead, by doing small favors for and saying nice things to each other. I highly recommend it.
When I first started going with my future wife, I would occasionally buy her things I thought she’d like. How wrong I was. She would look at the thing I bought for her and then look at me like I just bought her a lump of coal.
However, the same woman does not like cash for a gift. “Why can’t you buy me something?” she would wail. No gift cards either. So she must explicitly write down what she wants, and then I can go and get it for her.
I go through the same crap - I’m supposed to read her mind and figure out what she wants, but she never DOES want what I get for her, and then she rejects the cash option. Must be female “logic” (yeah, I know, there’s no such thing, but I’m just trying to illustrate a point here). However, every time we have to buy a present for someone’s wedding or birthday or whatever, I immediately begin lobbying for a pre-paid Visa card or cash - usually it is cheaper, and it definitely involves much less of a waste of time. Plus, I try to reinforce the idea that I can’t read minds, or have the same taste as someone else, and we don’t know what they really need - why don’t we let them choose for themselves, etc. Maybe it’ll begin to pay dividends in another 10 or 20 years.
Fixed it.
“Nope, they don’t fit.”
I am guessing the idiots the article is describing own shoes strictly for fashion and not for comfort or utility.
They don’t know what they are so it’s hard to tell.
All I know about shoes for women if the heel is 6" tall and spiked they are OK with me.
ALL I had to remember about clothes was size 6... Now, I don't know what size she really was, but it was ALWAYS LARGER than 6. So she got to think I thought she was quite petite, and whatever I bought, it didn't matter, because she was going to have to return it - Whereupon she would get what she actually wanted (with an excuse of a better deal, or what have you)...
more fun to watch her eye something and then tell the sales clerk to ring it up, got a lot of surprised looks doing that
Many times it's not actually that expensive...but you'd better buy it for her. Actually, I do like to buy those sorts of things for her...expensive or not.
I bought a nickel plated Smith & Wesson 32 long 3rd model hand injector for her birthday and she was pleased
For some reason females seem to think they know what everybody else wants. I've argued the same thing...just send them a gift card or a check. OH NO!!!...can't do that.
How callous of me to suggest that a young person might want a gift card or cash. We must send them a gift of some sort. Of course, my wife is always consorting with her daughters, so she'll usually get something the grandkids like.
But I remember talking with my sisters who used to send me items of clothing I detested for Christmas or my birthday. Most women love clothes and clothes shopping, so they think everybody else i.e. men must love clothes and shopping as much as they do.
One time I told them that sending me food (candy, nuts, etc.) was better than sending me some article of clothing I'd never wear. OH NO!!!... that would be tacky. "You don't really want that" they'd say. They couldn't give me something I'd actually use/eat.
So there was a case of me telling them what I would like, and them telling me that I actually didn't want what I asked for. Female "logic" is very difficult for a male to decipher.
I know what you mean - there is no gift that I despise receiving more than clothing of any kind. First of all, I like to choose my own. I have very simple tastes, and I don’t need someone picking stuff out for me that I won’t like. Second, I will feel pressure to wear those clothes when they come for a visit. Screw that! if I need clothes, I buy them. I would much rather receive something gun related or just plain cash to buy what I want. I always hear the argument that it isn’t thoughtful to give cash. Well excuse me, but what is more thoughtful than letting somebody pick out something that they really like? I can’t think of anything better than that.
My wife reads a lot of murder mysteries. I don't want to give her any ideas. Just kidding. She said if she wanted to murder someone, she would have murdered her first husband.
My mother used to send me a scratchy sweater every Christmas. I hate sweaters, and never wore them (as a dutiful son I thanked my mother for sending me them). I eventually gave all of them to a bro-in-law.
“25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.
26. The modern man cries. He cries often.”
No, he cries often because every women he knows has left his wimp a$$ for a man that has a use for a gun, owns a gun, and always will!
“This is my rifle, this is my gun, this is for fighting, this is for fun!
If ya caught my drift! LOL
“the husband and I agreed that it’s dumb to buy each other gifts.”
The wife and I have been the same way for 28 years.
She keeps the books for the house, and anything I would try and surprise her with, was an abject failure.
We decided for Christmas, Anniversaries, etc. to buy a gift we both want, and can use together.
We surprise each other with a planned activity that the other didn’t help plan.
Women’s clothing and shoes is all sized differently depending on the label. I might wear a size 8 in one brand, an 8 1/2 in another. Hubby didn’t get that. Men’s sizes are all so uniform. Women’s sizes are not.
I did not know that was a brand of soap. but then the only brand I know
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