“the husband and I agreed that it’s dumb to buy each other gifts.”
The wife and I have been the same way for 28 years.
She keeps the books for the house, and anything I would try and surprise her with, was an abject failure.
We decided for Christmas, Anniversaries, etc. to buy a gift we both want, and can use together.
We surprise each other with a planned activity that the other didn’t help plan.
Very good.
Forgot to add, though, that the husband does still buy me mushy cards and sometimes flowers for special occasions. It’s great. Hard to go wrong when you bring a girl flowers and remind her that you’d marry her all over again.