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President Vows to Investigate High Gas Prices
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 23 April 2011 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/24/2011 1:21:05 PM PDT by John Semmens

While contending that “high gas prices are, on balance, good forAmerica,” President Obama vowed he would have his people “look into the matter to ensure that any wrongdoing is punished.”

“If having to pay more to fill up the SUV encourages a driver to switch to public transit, that’s a good thing,” the President argued. “The fewer cars there are on the road, the cleaner our air is going to be. Who could be against cleaner air?”

“But trying to profit from higher prices, well, that’s something entirely different,” Obama added. “Profit comes from charging prices in excess of costs. It expropriates value that, by right, ought to belong to all of the people. It is this type of expropriation that will not be tolerated by my Administration.”

In line with the President’s directive on this issue, Attorney General Eric Holder has formed the Financial Fraud Enforcement Working Group and has promised “to haul profiteers and speculators in to explain themselves with regard to the prices they’re charging for fuel.”

read more...

http://azconserv1.wordpress.com/2011/04/22/nlrb-assumes-control-over-business-location-decisions/


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: energy; environment; satire; transportation
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1 posted on 04/24/2011 1:21:07 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Shut up you evil Narcissist! I’m so sick of you!!


2 posted on 04/24/2011 1:23:40 PM PDT by proudofthesouth (Democratic Party - The party of genocide.)
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To: proudofthesouth

Gas prices set to double...


3 posted on 04/24/2011 1:29:14 PM PDT by Mr. Blond
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To: John Semmens

“to haul profiteers and speculators in to explain themselves with regard to the prices they’re charging for fuel.”

Humm. Technically, everybody in business is a profiteer. That’s the entire reason for being in business. Speculators do not charge high prices for fuel. They never take delivery of fuel. If a speculator bids $4.50 per gallon of regular gas for 2 million gallons to be delivered in one month, and that month comes and the price is $4.25, then he sells his contract at a .25 per gallon loss. If it’s $5.00 per gallon he made .50 per gallon.

What his speculation did was provide liquidity to the marketplace and guarantee the producer $4.50 for the gas that he was about to produce, thereby limiting the producer’s risk. There is nothing “wrong” or illegal about speculating. When you buy stocks you’re speculating that they will go up in value.

What the president meant to say is; “To each according to his need and from each according to his ability.” (Or some-such Marxist twaddle.)


4 posted on 04/24/2011 1:30:01 PM PDT by Gen.Blather
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To: John Semmens

It doesn’t matter how many times you post your stuff, folks always get sucked in. It must be good.


5 posted on 04/24/2011 1:32:05 PM PDT by johniegrad
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To: John Semmens

Look in the Mirror NOilbama.

Happy Easter


6 posted on 04/24/2011 1:32:39 PM PDT by bray (The Country Club can hold THEIR noses this election)
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To: John Semmens

Could part of the the problem be some fool who shut down drilling in the Gulf for AMERICAN oil?


7 posted on 04/24/2011 1:35:08 PM PDT by tanuki (O-voters: wanted Uberman, got Underdog....)
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To: John Semmens

ROTFL!!! Barry is a wild and crazy guy!


8 posted on 04/24/2011 1:39:18 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer ("...that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,..")
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To: proudofthesouth

He said it right there.
He is proud to have the price way up there but doesn’t want anyone to profit from it.
What an a-hole!


9 posted on 04/24/2011 1:43:19 PM PDT by donhunt (I am sick and tired of those bastards insulting and lying to me.)
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To: John Semmens

And still.


10 posted on 04/24/2011 1:44:39 PM PDT by johniegrad
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To: tanuki

...and collusion with the mid east to suck America dry. I wonder if his investigation will include the Saudis?


11 posted on 04/24/2011 1:54:33 PM PDT by himno hero ("armageddon is well seeded, America will pay"...Barrack Obama)
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To: John Semmens

Other famous investigations:

1) OJ looking for the REAL murderer
2) The Warren Commission
3) Geraldo’s famous fault
4) Vince Foster murder
5) Al Gore’s global warming stats


12 posted on 04/24/2011 1:58:41 PM PDT by Le Chien Rouge
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To: John Semmens

We should all send Zer0 a small Stainless Steel shaving mirror (for camping) to help him find the perp.


13 posted on 04/24/2011 2:09:16 PM PDT by Paladin2
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To: donhunt

No, no, someone does profit from it...why look at the vacations, the golf, the fund raising hobnobbing...man, he and Michelle are living the good life...on the backs of these evil profiteers!


14 posted on 04/24/2011 2:24:21 PM PDT by jennings2004 (Sarah Palin: "The bright light at the end of a very dark tunnel!")
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To: John Semmens
President Vows to Investigate High Gas Prices

Somehow, I am reminded of OJ Simpson's legendary hunt for the REAL killer.

P.S. For anyone who might claim this comment to be even remotely racist, please note that we are no longer able to honor the Race Card at this establishment, and are sorry for any inconvenience that may cause.

15 posted on 04/24/2011 2:33:35 PM PDT by Maceman (Obama -- he's as American as nasi goreng)
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To: John Semmens

Do you thing the investigation will point it’s accusing finger at The Usurper and fellow CommieCrate “Don’t Ask, Don’t Drill” policy?


16 posted on 04/24/2011 2:49:45 PM PDT by J Edgar
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To: Gen.Blather
What the president meant to say is; “To each according to his need and from each according to his ability.” (Or some-such Marxist twaddle.)

What he actually said was "All you white folks can't just sit around counting your money. You have to give it all to Eric Holder's people."

17 posted on 04/24/2011 2:58:22 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum ("If you wish to be a success in the world, promise everything, deliver nothing." -Napoleon Bonaparte)
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To: John Semmens

Hey Obongo, take a time out and stand in the corner until November 2012!


18 posted on 04/24/2011 3:19:44 PM PDT by Nowhere Man (General James Mattoon Scott, where are you when we need you? We need a regime change.)
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To: John Semmens

Try looking in the mirror for the root cause, bozo.


19 posted on 04/24/2011 3:57:21 PM PDT by RDAardvark (impeach the long-legged mack daddy!)
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To: John Semmens

Here we go, with a string of presidents from both parties, who threaten and hike taxes against oil companies to pay public education employees.


20 posted on 04/24/2011 4:16:44 PM PDT by familyop ("Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice." --Foghorn Leghorn)
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