Posted on 10/23/2010 5:17:52 PM PDT by Lrod
A character like Christine O'Donnell presents a unique problem for a humorist. Few elaborations are called for since the caricature is self-embodied. All that is needed is a dead-pan Jack Benny look. You know, the one where he just stares blankly at the audience without saying a word and eventually someone titters and before you know it the whole place is in hysterics? Her very existence as a major party candidate for US Senate is the kind of comedy which arrives ready-written and would only be spoiled by embellishment. I mean, what can you add to rabidantimasturbationtarianism, rats with fully-functioning human brains and her famous Witches of Eastwick campaign ad that looks like it was produced by Tim Burton? I had fully intended to leave Ms. O'Donnell to the other comedians and the pundits who were wearing her out on cable TV. But then came the most recent revelation that she has claimed that her father was Bozo the Clown. Here I had to break my silence, not in the name of humor, but in the cause of veracity. This is a subject I happen to know something about.
Long ago, for one magic season, I was related by marriage to Bozo the Clown. I'm not making this up. My father was a semi-notorious lothario in the television and advertising business. Sometime after he turned 50, he married the 17 year-old daughter of one of his professional colleagues, Larry Harmon, the guy who owned the franchise to Bozo, the Most Famous Clown in the World. He was Bozo Primero, not one of the many FauxZos who were franchised in every major media market. I was much closer to the power center of the Bozo world than Ms. O'Donnell ever dreamed of being. It gave me an intimate glimpse into the backstage life of clowns. I knew little of the inside workings of the clown business in those days. Like a naive child, I had assumed that, you know, Bozo was Bozo. It never occurred to me that there was a school, like a Bozo boot-camp, where imposters went to learn how to walk like a Bozo and talk like a Bozo and draw the red rictus of a smile on their faces with greasepaint. It was like learning a dirty family secret and it was a big disappointment. When you go to see Bozo, you want it to really be Bozo, not some guy dressed up in a Bozo costume.
I hadn't thought about my brief inclusion in greasepaint royalty for years until Ms. O'D surfaced with her claims of actually being a blood relative of Bozo the Clown. The marriage between my father and Princess Bozo, which was chronologically challenged to begin with, barely outlasted the honeymoon. They had about as much in common as Christine would have in common with the 99 other US Senators. Suddenly the whole subject bubbled from my subconscious and made me wonder about franchises and politicians and the authenticity of clowns.
Since John Quincy Adams carried forth his father's political legacy, American politicians have campaigned on the richness of their family's past public service. Roosevelt and Kennedy and Bush all represent minor dynasties and it is entirely in keeping with this tradition for Ms. O'D to claim descent from Bozo. Clowning is as present in the current of American politics as populism, liberalism or conservatism. But in light of Ms. O'D's penchant for resume enhancement, she fibbed about her college career and has downplayed her wiccan studies, her claims to clownly ancestry are also suspect. While she seems like a natural and can certainly get a laugh and works well in the side-shows, one has to wonder if she is really ready for the Big Top, the center ring.
The US Senate is the Big League of Buffoonery. Even pros like Colbert have trouble hanging there. It's a tough room. Notice that Al Franken, even with all his years of practical comic experience, has been keeping mum in deference to the mime-masters of the Senate. These clowns can juggle, ride unicycles, do pratfalls and get shot from cannons, all with the perfect dead-pan of their painted-on media faces. They are consummate clowns adept with all the tricks, the seltzer bottle, the pie-in-the-face, the filibuster. I don't want to get all Stephen King on you but these aren't nice clowns. Ms. O'D should think twice before she alienates her witch constituency, she may need some strong juju to avoid the dunking stool. They'll make her the senator-punk-clown. Every troupe of clowns has one, the smallest clown, bottom of the pecking order, the one who all the other clowns slap and when there is no smaller clown for her to slap, she turns to the audience with her out-turned palms and pitiful Emmett Kelly frown and says, "I am you."
Two of the greatest Senatorial Clowns, Lloyd Bentson and Dan Quayle, in their famous vice-presidential debate in 1988 demonstrated the type of cut-throat comedy these jokers are capable of. When Quayle set the joke up by comparing his inexperience to the inexperience of Jack Kennedy, Bentson spiked it with this punch-line, "Senator," he said, "I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Jack Kennedy."
The Poet's Eye would like to say to Christine O'Donnell in this same spirit, "Ms. O'Donnell, you say your father is Bozo. Well, I knew Bozo. Bozo was briefly my step-grand-father-in-law. Christine, your father was no Bozo."
Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you, and I’m wondering what it is I should do. It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face. Losing control yeah I'm all over the place.
Clowns to the left of me! Jokers to the right! Here I am stuck in the middle with you. ---Joe Egan and Gerry Rafferty
*gulp*
It is powered by coffee, so it can’t go too far.
The usual. ;-)
Man... Killed a car. Gut it and hang it on the wall in your den.
Just swinging through on my vine and thought I'd drop a few cool links for everyone.
Y'ever wish you could just take a picture of something, and be able to search the text in it on your computer?
Wish granted, and THEN some:
http://www.evernote.com/
Do you need/want to do image editing, but don't want to blot out half your hard drive with high-dollar software installs?
Wish granted:
http://www.aviary.com/
Y'ever wish you could just set a timer so you could relax and enjoy your time here on FR without having to watch your clock for whatever non-FR reason you have on the schedule?
Wish granted:
http://e.ggtimer.com/
Some of these tools come from the pages of "The 4-hour Workweek", by Tim Ferriss. I'm only halfway through it, but already the guy's brutal steps for eliminating the 80% of junk that occupies my time without contributing to my effectiveness have made the purchase of the book worthwhile. go browse it on Amazon. If you haven't been to Amazon in awhile, you'll discover that their "Look Inside" feature has been GREATLY enhanced, and delivers FAR more content than before.
Glock! Get your sweet little butt over here and lead me out of this Dank Dark Dirty Pit you threw me into and then turned your back on me...
Hello, I will be your guide back to the “A” deck.
Currently we are on “D” section, labs.
As noted by the feral attack deer wandering the area, it may be a good idea to stick close to personnel in the area.
Solo adventuring here is not advisable.
(Might find the legendary werebunny. I swear I had nothing to do with that one.)
Kept the bumper.
;-)
Well, you see, it was an experiment with coffee and deer.
And it was all for the sake of science!
It’s just too bad that shot was taken with a camera instead of a .308
’ Face, you’ll have to remind me about the UT ping list and glock rocks when I am back on by computer. Data signal here is slow and it’s hard to update ping list from phone browser. Plus I will be busy next few days at the conference.
No word on laptop repair yet.
In 12 cup drip percolator pot, fill to 6 cup mark with water.
In filter, put 6 heaping scoops of coffee.
Medium roast works best, just make sure it’s a robust blend.
Found a maxwellhouse ‘medium roast’ that was rather anemic.
Put pinch of salt in filter, about as much as it would take to cover the surface of a dime with one even layer.
This keeps the coffee from tasting burned too quickly, it doesn’t age well brewed this way.
Brew, recirculate if need be, usually not.
Add sugar and dairy creamer.
Creamora and coffeemate are not recommended unless you like the heart racing that Ranger Pudding gives.
That, and the nondairy creamer will give you both a headache and a buzz with the coffee.
I usually put about 8 spoons of sugar in this stuff, it ends up being like Russian Kava, thick and sweet with that bitter overtone to it.
Oh, and I am NOT responsible for seeming demonic possession of the coffeepot, or the coffeepot ending up acting as if it has been damaged.
A 22 behind a one-eyed hunting dog would be my first choice as my neighbor is 250 feet north and our Mansion is 120 feet south. I gave my grandson my Remington in 243 and my Winchester 32 Win Special. Oh and also my 30.06 Remington semi-auto but rest assured I am not left defenseless...
Kept the BIG stuff fer yourself, then.
Hhmmm... Dust bunnies must have eaten the spiderbots posted for cleaning duty. Hang on while I have the Dwarfs dispatch some heavier armed cleaning units to your area. Please don't make any sudden movements while they are cleaning.
Droidika with mops?
“...Dank Dark Dirty Pit?...”
Undeaders: Is there something going on in the Lower Levels that would cause it to be dank, dirty and pit-iful?
Tubebender, we’ve always prided ourselves on the Castle environs, and this is coming as a shock. Are the walls and doors no longer shifting? Are the clean-up crews not tending to the leavings?
Who’s in charge of QA this week?
Probably just forgot to take down the Halloween decorating...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.