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Lightning Rod Gets The Zot
The Poet's Eye ^ | Lightning Rod

Posted on 10/23/2010 5:17:52 PM PDT by Lrod

A character like Christine O'Donnell presents a unique problem for a humorist. Few elaborations are called for since the caricature is self-embodied. All that is needed is a dead-pan Jack Benny look. You know, the one where he just stares blankly at the audience without saying a word and eventually someone titters and before you know it the whole place is in hysterics? Her very existence as a major party candidate for US Senate is the kind of comedy which arrives ready-written and would only be spoiled by embellishment. I mean, what can you add to rabidantimasturbationtarianism, rats with fully-functioning human brains and her famous Witches of Eastwick campaign ad that looks like it was produced by Tim Burton? I had fully intended to leave Ms. O'Donnell to the other comedians and the pundits who were wearing her out on cable TV. But then came the most recent revelation that she has claimed that her father was Bozo the Clown. Here I had to break my silence, not in the name of humor, but in the cause of veracity. This is a subject I happen to know something about.

Long ago, for one magic season, I was related by marriage to Bozo the Clown. I'm not making this up. My father was a semi-notorious lothario in the television and advertising business. Sometime after he turned 50, he married the 17 year-old daughter of one of his professional colleagues, Larry Harmon, the guy who owned the franchise to Bozo, the Most Famous Clown in the World. He was Bozo Primero, not one of the many FauxZos who were franchised in every major media market. I was much closer to the power center of the Bozo world than Ms. O'Donnell ever dreamed of being. It gave me an intimate glimpse into the backstage life of clowns. I knew little of the inside workings of the clown business in those days. Like a naive child, I had assumed that, you know, Bozo was Bozo. It never occurred to me that there was a school, like a Bozo boot-camp, where imposters went to learn how to walk like a Bozo and talk like a Bozo and draw the red rictus of a smile on their faces with greasepaint. It was like learning a dirty family secret and it was a big disappointment. When you go to see Bozo, you want it to really be Bozo, not some guy dressed up in a Bozo costume.

I hadn't thought about my brief inclusion in greasepaint royalty for years until Ms. O'D surfaced with her claims of actually being a blood relative of Bozo the Clown. The marriage between my father and Princess Bozo, which was chronologically challenged to begin with, barely outlasted the honeymoon. They had about as much in common as Christine would have in common with the 99 other US Senators. Suddenly the whole subject bubbled from my subconscious and made me wonder about franchises and politicians and the authenticity of clowns.

Since John Quincy Adams carried forth his father's political legacy, American politicians have campaigned on the richness of their family's past public service. Roosevelt and Kennedy and Bush all represent minor dynasties and it is entirely in keeping with this tradition for Ms. O'D to claim descent from Bozo. Clowning is as present in the current of American politics as populism, liberalism or conservatism. But in light of Ms. O'D's penchant for resume enhancement, she fibbed about her college career and has downplayed her wiccan studies, her claims to clownly ancestry are also suspect. While she seems like a natural and can certainly get a laugh and works well in the side-shows, one has to wonder if she is really ready for the Big Top, the center ring.

The US Senate is the Big League of Buffoonery. Even pros like Colbert have trouble hanging there. It's a tough room. Notice that Al Franken, even with all his years of practical comic experience, has been keeping mum in deference to the mime-masters of the Senate. These clowns can juggle, ride unicycles, do pratfalls and get shot from cannons, all with the perfect dead-pan of their painted-on media faces. They are consummate clowns adept with all the tricks, the seltzer bottle, the pie-in-the-face, the filibuster. I don't want to get all Stephen King on you but these aren't nice clowns. Ms. O'D should think twice before she alienates her witch constituency, she may need some strong juju to avoid the dunking stool. They'll make her the senator-punk-clown. Every troupe of clowns has one, the smallest clown, bottom of the pecking order, the one who all the other clowns slap and when there is no smaller clown for her to slap, she turns to the audience with her out-turned palms and pitiful Emmett Kelly frown and says, "I am you."

Two of the greatest Senatorial Clowns, Lloyd Bentson and Dan Quayle, in their famous vice-presidential debate in 1988 demonstrated the type of cut-throat comedy these jokers are capable of. When Quayle set the joke up by comparing his inexperience to the inexperience of Jack Kennedy, Bentson spiked it with this punch-line, "Senator," he said, "I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Jack Kennedy."

The Poet's Eye would like to say to Christine O'Donnell in this same spirit, "Ms. O'Donnell, you say your father is Bozo. Well, I knew Bozo. Bozo was briefly my step-grand-father-in-law. Christine, your father was no Bozo."

Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you, and I’m wondering what it is I should do. It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face. Losing control yeah I'm all over the place.

Clowns to the left of me! Jokers to the right! Here I am stuck in the middle with you. ---Joe Egan and Gerry Rafferty

Visit The Poet's Eye


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: bozot; christineodonnell; clownzot; hater; humor; kittychow; molassesmiasma; odonnell; ozone; penguinhumor; satire; sionnsar; thepoetseye; troll; vikingkitties; vikingkitty; zot
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To: Darksheare
"Intercooler" -- never mind, looked it up. Didn't know B-17s had superchargers, unlike their successors.
401 posted on 11/04/2010 4:41:57 PM PDT by sionnsar (IranAzadi|5yst3m 0wn3d-it's N0t Y0ur5:SONY|TV--it's NOT news you can trust)
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To: sionnsar

“Acts up” is when I find myself with “acid refux,” pain, or just plain “indigestion.” The Cayenne will quell whatever is going on. If I can’t get to the Cayenne in my kitchen, I’ll settle for spicy Mexican food at the nearest Mexican restaurant. Tabasco is NOT a cure!


402 posted on 11/04/2010 4:44:10 PM PDT by Monkey Face (42.7% of statistics are made up on the spot.)
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To: sionnsar

Intercooler for a VeeDub is a short fancy way of saying that fluid from the transmission is heated by the engine coolant up to operating temperature THEN kept at that temperature by the cooling system.
The intercooler istelf is a stacked plate block with four fluid openings and several passages inside that resembles a scaled down version of a powerplant heat exchanger.
Transmission fluid comes in, and exchanges heat/cold with the engine coolant.

In a B-17, I’m not certain what it would be as it may be entirely different in an aviation setting.


403 posted on 11/04/2010 4:46:10 PM PDT by Darksheare (I shook hands with Sheryl Crow and all I got was Typhus and a single sheet of toilet paper.)
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To: Lrod

Always call Nuclear Cat for the removal of rat Trolls.
404 posted on 11/04/2010 4:46:54 PM PDT by GonzoGOP (There are millions of paranoid people in the world and they are all out to get me.)
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To: Monkey Face; LibreOuMort
Charlemagne is in my history.

LoM too.

... except to give me a taste for good wines. Which are not necessarily all from France...Moselle is a case in point.

Agreed completely. Germans make excellent wines. And don't forget that Shiraz (in US: Petit Sirah? Syrah?) had its origin in Iran (and where else but... Shiraz?) but is now grown in Australia.

And/or the desire to fight for what I believe in...which may or may not be French in origin.”

The French don't have a lock on that, but they have it too.

405 posted on 11/04/2010 4:51:12 PM PDT by sionnsar (IranAzadi|5yst3m 0wn3d-it's N0t Y0ur5:SONY|TV--it's NOT news you can trust)
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To: Monkey Face
“Acts up” is when I find myself with “acid refux,” pain, or just plain “indigestion.” The Cayenne will quell whatever is going on. If I can’t get to the Cayenne in my kitchen, I’ll settle for spicy Mexican food at the nearest Mexican restaurant. Tabasco is NOT a cure!

Hm! I don't experience those often, but it's interesting that cayenne works and Tabasco doesn't. (Then again, I've never looked into the "chemistry" of these.)

Thanks!

406 posted on 11/04/2010 4:53:51 PM PDT by sionnsar (IranAzadi|5yst3m 0wn3d-it's N0t Y0ur5:SONY|TV--it's NOT news you can trust)
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To: Darksheare
In a B-17, I’m not certain what it would be as it may be entirely different in an aviation setting.

It sounds like we have two very different kinds of systems given a common name. Thanks!

407 posted on 11/04/2010 4:56:47 PM PDT by sionnsar (IranAzadi|5yst3m 0wn3d-it's N0t Y0ur5:SONY|TV--it's NOT news you can trust)
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To: sionnsar

Welcome!
The VeeDubs have had something they’ve called an intercooler for the transmission for awhile.
Oddly, it seems to be referred to as a heat exchanger by others.


408 posted on 11/04/2010 5:04:59 PM PDT by Darksheare (I shook hands with Sheryl Crow and all I got was Typhus and a single sheet of toilet paper.)
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To: Monkey Face; sionnsar; Tax-chick

“I hate the French.” - that’s strong stuff, ‘Face!
I happen to have French ancestry as recent as my great grandfather and he was no coward (in fact he earned a Croix De Guerre). Nor were any of the French people I grew up knowing in post WWII Europe cowards - all were members of the Résistance and many had family members killed by the Germans. I admit there are some idiots among the French, most of whom wrote very depressing stuff in the 19th and early 20th Century. But France gave us Madame Curie, Blaise Pascal, Alexis De Tocqueville and the Marquis De La Fayette for starters. The USA would not have survived the British had it not been for the French. So, please, when you spout off about hating the French, remember me. Thanks.

Oh, and BTW, the best wines of French origin are available only in France - they don’t send them abroad. They don’t travel or store well because they have no sulfites.

PS: There are no good German red wines, period. Whites, on the other hand, are excellent. I recommend a Piesporter Goldtropfchen - if you can get it, a Riesling Spätläse.


409 posted on 11/04/2010 6:57:04 PM PDT by LibreOuMort (Give me liberty, or give me death! (Patrick Henry))
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To: LibreOuMort

LoM, my dear sister!

Because the French are so rampant in my history, I really can’t ignore them. Especially the intelligent French.

The US of A was founded on people seeking freedom, for whatever reason, and therefore, I don’t “hate” any nationality. The reason is my heritage. I’m a mongrel.

Half of my ancestors were here to meet the other half. From the Mayflower and the Anne, backwards, I’ve met people I never thought I could know.

Since I don’t like red wines, there is no contest. Whites, however, will have to fight the taste buds. Spending almost two years in Germany, white wines and pilsner beers are the drinks of my heart!!

The latter wine you mentioned (Piesporter Reisling, without the accents!) is one of the most awesome wines I’ve ever tasted!


410 posted on 11/04/2010 7:46:44 PM PDT by Monkey Face (42.7% of statistics are made up on the spot.)
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To: Tax-chick

They’ll be in Seattle, too, but I dunno if I’ll be underway or not. So I may see them twice. If not, I can always take leave and fly across the country then drive four hours.


411 posted on 11/04/2010 10:37:12 PM PDT by Anoreth (....a fetid behemoth of toxic pustules oozing all over the basement....)
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To: Anoreth
I can always take leave and fly across the country then drive four hours.

Yeah, always! It's only about 2-1/2 hours to Asheville. I could go visit FRiends up there and drink, while you and Bill see Turisas. When are you going underway again? And I need your birth certificate, an address, and your measurements. And did you get an email from USAA? They'll drop you if you don't play ball on claims, and then you'll have to pay for really expensive insurance instead of concerts.

412 posted on 11/05/2010 3:47:27 AM PDT by Tax-chick (The Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom He will. (Dan 4:25))
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To: Tax-chick; Monkey Face; ColdOne

413 posted on 11/05/2010 3:49:55 AM PDT by Tax-chick (The Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom He will. (Dan 4:25))
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To: Anoreth

Are you getting any mail there? I finished the crossword in “First Things” on Wednesday night in about an hour.


414 posted on 11/05/2010 3:51:03 AM PDT by Tax-chick (The Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom He will. (Dan 4:25))
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To: Tax-chick

I jnew that!


415 posted on 11/05/2010 4:26:29 AM PDT by Monkey Face (42.7% of statistics are made up on the spot.)
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To: Monkey Face

Of course *you* wouldn’t expect a monkey ;-0>


416 posted on 11/05/2010 4:50:48 AM PDT by Tax-chick (The Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom He will. (Dan 4:25))
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To: Tax-chick; Monkey Face
Of course *you* wouldn’t expect a monkey ;-0>

LOL!

Sigh. Up at 4:30, with no light outside until 7:30, and not much reason to be into the office by 8 because the air system is still not working. But at least the body clock is moving in the right direction now, and I got around to repacking my travel kits slightly, as I'd planned for days.

OTOH for some strange reason the batteries in the MP3 player and new cellphone were both discharged.

But really bad news -- Dino Rossi conceded to Sen. Patsy Murray. Good guy but didn't run hard enough. Politically he is toast now.

417 posted on 11/05/2010 5:31:42 AM PDT by sionnsar (IranAzadi|5yst3m 0wn3d-it's N0t Y0ur5:SONY|TV--it's NOT news you can trust)
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To: sionnsar

Sad news, sionnsar. Have you considered that someone in your house has a negative electric charge?


418 posted on 11/05/2010 5:40:04 AM PDT by Tax-chick (The Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom He will. (Dan 4:25))
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To: Tax-chick

Somehow, the humor of that pic was much cleverer using the lynx.


419 posted on 11/05/2010 6:00:03 AM PDT by Monkey Face (42.7% of statistics are made up on the spot.)
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To: Monkey Face

Absolutely. Such a handsome kitteh, too.


420 posted on 11/05/2010 6:01:08 AM PDT by Tax-chick (The Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom He will. (Dan 4:25))
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