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Lightning Rod Gets The Zot
The Poet's Eye ^ | Lightning Rod

Posted on 10/23/2010 5:17:52 PM PDT by Lrod

A character like Christine O'Donnell presents a unique problem for a humorist. Few elaborations are called for since the caricature is self-embodied. All that is needed is a dead-pan Jack Benny look. You know, the one where he just stares blankly at the audience without saying a word and eventually someone titters and before you know it the whole place is in hysterics? Her very existence as a major party candidate for US Senate is the kind of comedy which arrives ready-written and would only be spoiled by embellishment. I mean, what can you add to rabidantimasturbationtarianism, rats with fully-functioning human brains and her famous Witches of Eastwick campaign ad that looks like it was produced by Tim Burton? I had fully intended to leave Ms. O'Donnell to the other comedians and the pundits who were wearing her out on cable TV. But then came the most recent revelation that she has claimed that her father was Bozo the Clown. Here I had to break my silence, not in the name of humor, but in the cause of veracity. This is a subject I happen to know something about.

Long ago, for one magic season, I was related by marriage to Bozo the Clown. I'm not making this up. My father was a semi-notorious lothario in the television and advertising business. Sometime after he turned 50, he married the 17 year-old daughter of one of his professional colleagues, Larry Harmon, the guy who owned the franchise to Bozo, the Most Famous Clown in the World. He was Bozo Primero, not one of the many FauxZos who were franchised in every major media market. I was much closer to the power center of the Bozo world than Ms. O'Donnell ever dreamed of being. It gave me an intimate glimpse into the backstage life of clowns. I knew little of the inside workings of the clown business in those days. Like a naive child, I had assumed that, you know, Bozo was Bozo. It never occurred to me that there was a school, like a Bozo boot-camp, where imposters went to learn how to walk like a Bozo and talk like a Bozo and draw the red rictus of a smile on their faces with greasepaint. It was like learning a dirty family secret and it was a big disappointment. When you go to see Bozo, you want it to really be Bozo, not some guy dressed up in a Bozo costume.

I hadn't thought about my brief inclusion in greasepaint royalty for years until Ms. O'D surfaced with her claims of actually being a blood relative of Bozo the Clown. The marriage between my father and Princess Bozo, which was chronologically challenged to begin with, barely outlasted the honeymoon. They had about as much in common as Christine would have in common with the 99 other US Senators. Suddenly the whole subject bubbled from my subconscious and made me wonder about franchises and politicians and the authenticity of clowns.

Since John Quincy Adams carried forth his father's political legacy, American politicians have campaigned on the richness of their family's past public service. Roosevelt and Kennedy and Bush all represent minor dynasties and it is entirely in keeping with this tradition for Ms. O'D to claim descent from Bozo. Clowning is as present in the current of American politics as populism, liberalism or conservatism. But in light of Ms. O'D's penchant for resume enhancement, she fibbed about her college career and has downplayed her wiccan studies, her claims to clownly ancestry are also suspect. While she seems like a natural and can certainly get a laugh and works well in the side-shows, one has to wonder if she is really ready for the Big Top, the center ring.

The US Senate is the Big League of Buffoonery. Even pros like Colbert have trouble hanging there. It's a tough room. Notice that Al Franken, even with all his years of practical comic experience, has been keeping mum in deference to the mime-masters of the Senate. These clowns can juggle, ride unicycles, do pratfalls and get shot from cannons, all with the perfect dead-pan of their painted-on media faces. They are consummate clowns adept with all the tricks, the seltzer bottle, the pie-in-the-face, the filibuster. I don't want to get all Stephen King on you but these aren't nice clowns. Ms. O'D should think twice before she alienates her witch constituency, she may need some strong juju to avoid the dunking stool. They'll make her the senator-punk-clown. Every troupe of clowns has one, the smallest clown, bottom of the pecking order, the one who all the other clowns slap and when there is no smaller clown for her to slap, she turns to the audience with her out-turned palms and pitiful Emmett Kelly frown and says, "I am you."

Two of the greatest Senatorial Clowns, Lloyd Bentson and Dan Quayle, in their famous vice-presidential debate in 1988 demonstrated the type of cut-throat comedy these jokers are capable of. When Quayle set the joke up by comparing his inexperience to the inexperience of Jack Kennedy, Bentson spiked it with this punch-line, "Senator," he said, "I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Jack Kennedy."

The Poet's Eye would like to say to Christine O'Donnell in this same spirit, "Ms. O'Donnell, you say your father is Bozo. Well, I knew Bozo. Bozo was briefly my step-grand-father-in-law. Christine, your father was no Bozo."

Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you, and I’m wondering what it is I should do. It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face. Losing control yeah I'm all over the place.

Clowns to the left of me! Jokers to the right! Here I am stuck in the middle with you. ---Joe Egan and Gerry Rafferty

Visit The Poet's Eye


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: bozot; christineodonnell; clownzot; hater; humor; kittychow; molassesmiasma; odonnell; ozone; penguinhumor; satire; sionnsar; thepoetseye; troll; vikingkitties; vikingkitty; zot
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To: Monkey Face
They'd been invented. They just weren't in wide use in Europe or the Americas.

Early examples came from ancient Greece. In the 7th Century, they were use in the Middle East. It wasn't until the 1700's that their use became popular elsewhere.

Early Colonial examples are almost uniformly a larger, two-tined meat fork. I've used a similar style on long 1/4" stock to make hotdog/marshmellow stickers for bonfire use. Instead of "dishing" the tines into the familiar curved shape, I leave them flat.

Reminds me... I still need to make a set of handles for them so they are easier to hold. ;-)

1,581 posted on 11/22/2010 12:59:47 PM PST by Dead Corpse (III, Alarm and Muster)
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To: Dead Corpse

See? That’s what being a smith will do for you! Gives you BRAINZZZ!


1,582 posted on 11/22/2010 1:28:08 PM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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To: Tax-chick

If Tom uses a lot of cologne, he probably belongs in the anti-bathing sect.


1,583 posted on 11/22/2010 1:31:24 PM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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To: Anoreth

Yah. Radar map has been showing snow up your way. Odd — we just a flurry of some kind of fast-falling snow, but there is nothing om the radar.


1,584 posted on 11/22/2010 2:03:27 PM PST by sionnsar (IranAzadi|5yst3m 0wn3d-it's N0t Y0ur5:SONY|Why are TSA exempt from their own searches?)
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To: Monkey Face
I could use a few of those right now. Trying to "restore" my work files to the youngest sionnsareen's old laptop to make next week's trip worthwhile. (There seems to be some kind of breakdown in the corporate system because I am hearing *nothing* about the repair of my laptop, which died *two weeks* ago!)

The restore wizard seems to be choking on the number of files it has to process. I'll have to see if there's some kind of manual method.

1,585 posted on 11/22/2010 2:20:37 PM PST by sionnsar (IranAzadi|5yst3m 0wn3d-it's N0t Y0ur5:SONY|Why are TSA exempt from their own searches?)
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To: Dead Corpse; Darksheare; fanfan; Harmless Teddy Bear; Monkey Face; NicknamedBob; sionnsar; ...

Post-mid-month p’DING!

And here’s a shout out to would-be evil overlords everywhere around the known — and the unknown — environs of the univers(es).

As you formulate your strategies for subjugating All That Is, you may wish to keep a few tips and tricks firmly in mind:

http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html


1,586 posted on 11/22/2010 2:25:39 PM PST by HKMk23 (Quit worryin' what other folks think; they don't do it all that much anyway.)
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To: Monkey Face

Actually, you can get that by raiding the zombies stash of munchies. ;-)


1,587 posted on 11/22/2010 2:28:40 PM PST by Dead Corpse (III, Alarm and Muster)
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To: Monkey Face; Dead Corpse
You guys are smart!!! Shucks I'll take that!
1,588 posted on 11/22/2010 2:47:34 PM PST by ColdOne
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To: Monkey Face

Bill uses many scented grooming products, in addition to his vociferous showering. Tom just smells rather barnyardy, and eventually I notice and tell him to wash.


1,589 posted on 11/22/2010 3:10:18 PM PST by Tax-chick (Six more days to clean your ceiling fan blades. Don't put it off until the last minute!)
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To: Dead Corpse

I hate Leftoverzzz!


1,590 posted on 11/22/2010 3:32:26 PM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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To: Tax-chick

Bill is At The Age where Cleanliness Is Next To Girliness (preferably, one he hasn’t met, yet) and Tom is At The Age of If I Don’t Get Close, No One Will Notice. Much.

For some reason, both my kids were clean freaks. If they had to go more than 24 hours without a shower or bath, they threatened to contact CPS.


1,591 posted on 11/22/2010 3:40:42 PM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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To: HKMk23

Oooohhh! That was...keepable.
Thanks!


1,592 posted on 11/22/2010 3:51:05 PM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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To: Monkey Face

It’s good, in a way, because it would be hard to have two of the World’s Cleanest Youths at once. I suppose one could shower in the middle of the day and one at midnight, and they could go shares and buy “Axe” grooming products in pallet-lots at Sam’s.


1,593 posted on 11/22/2010 3:52:19 PM PST by Tax-chick (Six more days to clean your ceiling fan blades. Don't put it off until the last minute!)
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To: ColdOne

You rock, girl!


1,594 posted on 11/22/2010 3:52:38 PM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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To: Tax-chick

There is no such thing as sharing a shower and “Axe” between two males who are siblings. Something will have to give. What it is will be decided by who “wins” whatever tournament they decide upon. Be grateful that a few years separate them.

Just sayin’.


1,595 posted on 11/22/2010 3:55:44 PM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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To: Monkey Face

2-1/2 years difference. Maybe Tom will experience Delayed Cleanlihood and Bill will have left home before it hits. On the other hand, Elen’s only 17 months younger than Tom, and Anoreth went through a Massively Showering phase. I guess she was saving up shower points for the weeks without running water on the boat.


1,596 posted on 11/22/2010 3:58:13 PM PST by Tax-chick (Six more days to clean your ceiling fan blades. Don't put it off until the last minute!)
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To: Tax-chick

It’s hard to figure out the teen psyche. My son has always been a clean freak, and is an immaculate housekeeper. My daughter is clean when it suits her purpose, and since no one knows what that is, one should never be surprised upon entering her house!

As an aside: What they are like as teens is not a predeliction of their adult years.


1,597 posted on 11/22/2010 4:03:50 PM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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To: Monkey Face

Thanks!


1,598 posted on 11/22/2010 4:10:39 PM PST by ColdOne
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To: ColdOne

As my mom would say, “Ain’t no flies on you!”


1,599 posted on 11/22/2010 4:13:02 PM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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To: Monkey Face

!


1,600 posted on 11/22/2010 4:13:54 PM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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