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Sarah Huckabee Sanders delivers the White House press briefing for Friday August 24th, 2018. Video Added:

The discovery of the body of missing Iowa college student Mollie Tibbets brought a tragic end to a month long search. The arrest of Cristhian Bahena Rivera, an illegal immigrant, for her murder inspired Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass) to urge Ms. Tibbets' parents to "focus on the bigger picture. Sure they have lost a daughter, but this loss must be weighed against the suffering of the much larger contingent of immigrant parents who have been separated from their children merely because they've entered the country illegally." "I mean, I'm sorry Mollie Tibbets is dead, but she was just one person,"...

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats in Congress have just confirmed their commitment to safeguarding America’s elections from any attempts to defraud the system, unless those safeguards involve some form of voter identification requirement. Concerned about the influence of Russian bots and others who may act like American citizens to dishonestly manipulate the ballot box, Democrats insisted the government make every effort to protect the election process from fraud, short of requiring voters to provide proof they are who they say they are. “We must ensure that every American citizen is fairly represented at the polls,” Representative Nancy Pelosi told reporters. “Unless, of course,...

In another triumph of progressive politics, the City of San Francisco has announced the formation of an official “Poop Patrol” to scour the streets and remove the mounting piles of human excrement deposited by the homeless inhabitants of the community. The Patrol will start with a staff of six—one supervisor and five workers. Public works department spokeswoman Rachel Gordon said “we’re not denying the right of the homeless to carry out necessary bodily functions as they see fit. After all, the streets and sidewalks are public spaces open to all. We want the homeless to understand that this is not...

In a bid to energize Democratic voters for the upcoming congressional elections, former First Daughter Chelsea Clinton touted the economic benefits of abortion. "Since 1973's Roe v. Wade decision, the legal termination of more than 50 million useless eaters has saved the US economy more than $3.5 trillion," she told the pro-abortion crowd. "By relieving 50 million women from the drudgery of child rearing the ruling enabled them to employ their talents more productively by taking jobs and earning a higher income." "All these benefits are in danger if Democrats can't take control of Congress to block pro-life legislation and...

Concerned by predictions that a Democratic "blue wave" could lead to a loss of Republican majorities in the House and Senate, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) has devised what he boasted is "a foolproof plan to avert disaster." The gist of this plan is to blur the differences between the two Parties by scheduling a number of votes on bipartisan bills that garner support from both sides of the aisle. The bills the Majority Leader has in mind include votes on the Defense and Labor, Health and Human Services spending bill, opioids legislation and the Water Resources Development Act....

The accusations that Democratic National Committee vice chairman Keith Ellison sexually abused two women may become the latest case of social mores butting up against religious freedom. DNC chairman Tom Perez reminded critics of Ellison’s behavior that “imposition of Christian standards of behavior on a Muslim man violate the First Amendment protection against government infringement on the free exercise of religion.” “Under Islam, a man has total dominance over a woman,” Perez observed. “First, under sharia law, a woman is effectively only half as human as a man. Using this math, each of the accusers’ testimony is out weighed by...

Chris Cuomo: “Antifa Violence” Justified CNN’s Chris Cuomo defended Antifa’s assaults on political opponents, calling it “a justifiable tactic to combat bigotry. The attempt to equate this with Nazi Brownshirts beating up Jews and political opponents is unfair. The Nazis were bigots. Their victims were innocent. Antifa’s victims are the right wing bigots who support the ‘bigot-in-chief’ who occupies the White House. Cracking their skulls is a socially beneficial use of violence for a good cause.” In related news, CNN filed a motion to unseal the names and addresses of the jurors in the Manafort trial. The motion asserted that...

Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass) is sponsoring legislation that would negate the control of corporate shareholders and transfer authority to government. Her bill—the “Accountable Capitalism Act”–is, in her words, “intended to replace greedy profiteering with the more socially beneficial guidance of government oversight.” The prime motive for the bill was her discovery that employees share of the income generated by businesses has fallen from 85% 20 years ago to “only” 75% today. “As Karl Marx conclusively proved more than 150 years ago, all the value created by businesses comes from labor,” Warren contended. “It is shameful that any of this value...

This week's revocation of the security clearance of former CIA Director John Brennan elicited howls of protest from deep state apparatchiks. Brennan himself characterized the action as "treasonous. My ability to continue protecting this nation by leaking selected classified information to the media in our continuing effort to blunt the influence of President Trump is eviscerated by this cruel and callous act." Former FBI Director James Comey called it "an illegitimate use of executive authority. Nominally, a president has the power to award or remove anyone's access to classified material. But Trump's selective use of this authority against those of...

VATICAN CITY—In his first public statement on the horrifying, devastating report on sexual abuse within the Catholic Church, Pope Francis stated he would address the controversy in detail once he’s done talking about climate change for a few more weeks. The head of the Roman Catholic Church claimed he is deeply concerned with the tragic report, but is “just too swamped” with work fighting climate change, criticizing capitalism, and advocating for other issues of social justice to talk about the repulsive report at the moment. “Rest assured, once I have exhausted my talking points on the need for government policies...

A far-left activist group was throwing a party to celebrate the fact that Phillips has found himself in legal trouble yet again, despite winning a Supreme Court case earlier this year, and phoned the Masterpiece Cakeshop to order a cake with the words “DOWN WITH MASTERPIECE CAKESHOP!” written in frosting on top. When Phillips turned down the request, CEU units arrived on the scene, kicked down the unlocked front door of his shop, and forced him to bake the cake at gunpoint.

VEN (NEW YORK) — “I am like SO HONORED!” an uncharacteristically speechless, self-proclaimed Democratic-Socialist Alexandra Octavio-Cortez told reporters, after accepting The Casey Stengel Award For Public Speaking Excellence at the El Club Cubano Interamericanol in the Bronx Sunday. “You have no idea how special this is to me! Dios Mio! Such a great man! My grandfather used to quote him to me when I was a little girl! And I have a recording of his testimony to the Asamblea Legislativa!

9.) Be happy to see him. Free him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. 10.) You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first — remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. 11.) Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to...

NASHVILLE, TN—LifeWay Research released a new report Monday morning confirming that Christians who regularly share photos on social media which include both a Bible and a cup of coffee are significantly godlier than those who do not. The data was gathered from a study of 8,000 Christians from a variety of denominations and backgrounds. It reports “much higher” levels of godliness and holiness among those who share at least one Bible/coffee pic per week, along with “significantly elevated” levels of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. A higher frequency of sharing this specific type of image...

Can video be embedded? Gotta go viral ... Trump should play this at rallies. Don't who made edited this video but he did great job. enjoy, fl

Of the more than 1,000 refugees admitted into the United Kingdom from war-torn Syria during the first quarter of 2018 none were Christians. Home Secretary Sajid Javid explained that “for us to admit Christians would merely exacerbate the already existing religious imbalance between the two countries. We already have a surplus of Christians in the UK and a comparative shortage of Muslims. The opposite is the case in Syria.” Javid acknowledged that “the discrimination, oppression, and murder of Christians in Muslim-run countries is unfortunate. However, we feel we must take a longer range perspective. That perspective is founded on the...

Jiggs McDonald, NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster speaking in Ontario, says: "I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Toronto . I think it should be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance." “That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque; thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy," and the other,...

Jennifer Allen, CEO of Planned Parenthood Votes Northwest and Hawaii, urged supporters to go all out to oppose the confirmation of Bret Kavanaugh to the US Supreme Court, pointing out that “if Kavanaugh’s vote is the one needed to overturn Roe v. Wade future generations of children will be denied their right to be aborted by their mothers. The amount of suffering that such an outcome would inflict on these children is a cruelty that must be averted.” if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at... https://azconservative.org/2018/08/03/ny-times-hires-racist-editorial-writer/

This is satire, but I could not fit it in the title. VATICAN CITY—Following his recent announcement that the Catholic Church no longer supports the use of the death penalty, Pope Francis clarified that it may still be applied to slow left-lane drivers. “It almost goes without saying,” the leader of the Church commented. Whereas prior Church teaching allowed the death penalty in certain cases, the Catechism now teaches that the punishment is always impermissible. “Except,” said a Vatican spokesman, “for those reprobate souls who just hang out in the left lane as if nobody else has anywhere to be.”...