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Though he did leave open the option of signing an amnesty bill passed by Congress, President Obama vowed to “go it alone if they don’t give me what I want.” New York politicians Senator Charles Schmer (D) and New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio (D) endorsed using a Presidential Executive Order to accomplish immigration reform. “Even if a GOP controlled Congress were to pass an immigration reform bill it is bound to be cluttered with unessential, un-American add-ons like enhanced border security, deportation of criminals and the like,” Schumer warned. “These types of restrictions tarnish America as a beacon...

Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex) says she will introduce legislation that would establish a federally funded Barack Obama sperm bank in the upcoming "lame duck" session of Congress. She says she got the idea from a similar proposal to establish a Vladimir Putin sperm bank in Russia. "We can't afford to fall behind in what could turn out to be a critical competition to propagate the seed of the nation's best and brightest," Lee argued. "Granted, it would be decades before the offspring of President Obama's banked sperm could be expected to make a strategic difference, but if we fail...

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) neglected to include Rep. Mia Love (R-Utah) and Sen. Tim Scott (R-SC) n its post-election congratulations to African-Americans who won their races. Cornell William Brooks, President and CEO of the NAACP, characterized the election of the Black conservatives as "more of a setback than an advancement for people of color. These two have bought the right wing propaganda that individual achievement, hard work, and honesty are the way a person gets ahead in this world. Unfortunately, every individually successful Black person dilutes our case for slavery reparations." Brooks predicted that...

Have you ever heard of George Jefferson? Apparently Liberal Chick missed out on History class. Listen to her angry rant about the GOP Midterm win. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook.

Consider the following 20 beliefs from the imaginary world where liberals live.  The “Affordable Care Act” will reduce the cost and increase the quality of health care, because if you want something done efficiently and economically, then you want unionized government bureaucracies to handle it.  We don’t have a spending problem  It is morally acceptable to borrow massive amounts of money from our grandchildren to support our own current consumption.  The 22 trillion dollars spent on the War on Poverty was quite successful in reducing the number of people in poverty.  The Social Security Program...

THIS IS ONLY AN MSNBC TEST OF BANNER PLACEMENT, schedule 5-Nov-2014 6:00 AM EST.

In a surprise move CEO Donald Thompson of McDonald’s Restaurants announced they had reached an agreement with the SEIU and would start paying its workers a “Living Wage” of $15.00 per hour the first of October. Mr. Thompson issued a press release stating, “As a company we realize we have been negligent in paying our employees a real living wage for the last 60 years, so in the spirit of social well-being, we have decided to comply with the wishes of the White House and the SEIU.” The Service Employees International Union spokesman, Seymour Pecunia, said that he “was very...

Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) hints that Secretary of State John Kerry may be ousted sometime after the November elections are over. “At best, his performance at this job has been underwhelming,” Blumenthal asserted. “Many of his public statements evince a poor and almost dimwitted perception of the issues. He has grievously embarrassed both himself and President Obama.” Anonymous White House officials complain that “Kerry is out of sync with the Administration. It’s not so much a case of being wrong about the President’s policies as it is too openly expressing them. On issue after issue Kerry’s candor is repeatedly disclosing...

FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. — Ever since 81-year-old Mae Hodges bought a used Volvo, “strange-looking people” have been approaching her around town to pay compliments. “They tell me, ‘Thank you for being a pioneer in our movement,’” Hodges says. “I have no idea what they mean.” The flow of appreciation began after she started driving the nondescript Volvo wagon, which bears several bumper stickers. One sticker shows a multi-colored flag, another a pink equal sign, both of which Hodges found “very cheery.” “I left them on the car because the bright colors remind me of my flower garden,” she says. “Bill used...

SPRING HILL, Florida — In a startling announcement, the CEO of Hungry Howies Pizza announced that “Howie,” the official cartoon character mascot of the Detroit-based chain, has come out as transgender. “We all know and love Howie, all seen his goofy face for years, but hidden behind that hungry simpleton’s face was a lost soul going through a gender crisis,” CEO Burle Gander said. “Heather, as she would like to be called now, just wants to go on providing delicious pizza with fresh ingredients, without any discrimination.” Allegations from the LGBTQ community that the company is just revamping its image...

Democratic National Committee Woman, Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (Fla), agreed with CNN host Candy Crowley that Republicans are scarier than either the deadly Ebola virus or the ISIS terrorist army. “Bad as Ebola and ISIS, or ISIL as the President calls it, may be they have the saving grace of representing a nondiscriminatory threat to all Americans,” Wasserman-Schultz contended. “The depredations of the GOP are exclusively targeted against Democratic candidates and Democratic constituencies. If Republicans are successful in selling their message to the voters it will exclusively be Democrats who are turned out of office. It will be exclusively Democratic clienteles...

Recent reports of non-citizens voting, multiple voter registrations in different states for the same person, ballots cast by dead voters, and voting machines that flip votes from Republicans to Democrats are unworthy of further investigation, says US Attorney General Eric Holder. “First of all, there could be very good reasons why all of these alleged violations are bogus,” Holder declared. “For example, the notion that non-citizens shouldn’t be allowed to vote is, arguably, a human rights violation. Non-citizens are impacted by government policies. Why shouldn’t they have the right to participate in the selection of those who will make and...

As more and more people are bounced out of health insurance plans they liked, Health and Human Services Regional Director Joanne Grossie insisted on calling the cancellations “invitations to obtain better plans.” “A lot of times people will lapse into being satisfied with an inferior product or service out of pure inertia,” Grossie maintained. “By outlawing substandard policies the Affordable Care Act forces people to upgrade to better plans.” Grossie rejected the idea that a person might genuinely prefer a so-called substandard policy. “A single man might think he has no need to pay for coverage of gynecological services, maternity...

In remarks this week, former President Bill Clinton denounced GOP attempts to "cash-in" on people's "misery" under Democratic policies and programs for "political gain." "Republicans want voters to focus on the lack of economic growth and the huge number of people who can't get jobs since Democrats took control of the federal government," Clinton complained. "They want voters to overlook the flip side of this coin. Expansion of benefit programs have made work unnecessary for a growing segment of the population. The increased amount of leisure time our policies have made possible doesn't show up in the statistics Republicans like...

The New York State Democratic Committee (NYSDC) has sent out letters to registered Party members warning them that they are being watched to see if they vote in this election. While the letter tried to assure the recipients that their ballots would be secret, it emphasized that “whether you vote is a matter of public record.” NYSDC Chairman, former New York Governor David Patrick, characterized the note as a “friendly reminder. The Democratic Party has done its part to secure a lot of benefits for these people. It’s only fair that they do their share to help keep the cash...

Since he was appointed as President Obama's "Ebola Czar," Ron Klain has disappeared from sight. Presidential Press Secretary Josh Earnest tried to reassure the media, saying that "I recognize that all of you have not had a chance to see him and talk to him every day, but the President certainly has." Klain's exceptionally "low profile" is "all according to plan," Earnest said. "Ron is leading by example. The best way not to get the disease is by scrupulously avoiding contact with anyone who might be infected. By staying out of sight and not venturing forth to meet anyone for...

1. Craptain Duhmerica 2. General Jackass 3. Supersham 4. The Dork Knight 5. President Evil 6. Jerkel 7. The Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers 8. Many-lies the Clown 9. An America-punishing baby 10. A REAL president

For only the second time in history since it was formally defined, Pope Francis has invoked papal infallibility in order to restate the Catholic Church's two most ancient, unchanging, and distinctive doctrines: evolution and a non-literal interpretation of Genesis (which was totally written by stone age savages, by the way). Invoking the apparations of Our Lady Queen of Higher Criticism, the Pope stated: While the ordinary magisterium from the very day of the Church's founding 1,981 years ago this past April has been most clear and constant, nevertheless we are most grieved at the dissemination of the "Errors of Alabama,"...

Sure, this can be true of all politics, but ideologically this epitomizes every idea crammed down America’s throat by liberalism.

Amnesty Needed for "Shared Prosperity" Labor Secretary Thomas Perez reassured the National Press Club that amnesty for illegal immigrants will be forthcoming after the mid-term elections. "Right now, it would be too risky for the President to declare the kind of big and bold legalization of the millions of undocumented persons in this country that everyone agrees is desperately needed," Perez said. "The Republicans would use such an action to hammer Democrats running in Congressional races. Once the elections are past, though, there will be nothing anyone can do to impede this reform." Granting legal status to the millions of...