Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Veep Suggests Platinum Solution to Gun Control (Satire)
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Jan 2013 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/11/2013 7:17:44 PM PST by John Semmens

In what he called a “stroke of genius,” Vice-President Joe Biden suggested that President Obama could bypass both Congress and the Constitution by using an Executive Order to solve the gun violence crisis.

“It was when I heard people talking about minting trillion dollar platinum coins to solve the debt ceiling thing that I got the idea of using platinum to get around 2nd Amendment objections to gun control,” Biden boasted. “If the President were to simply require that platinum be the only metal permitted in bullets we could effectively eliminate privately held guns without actually banning them.”

The Vice-President argued that “as Commander-in-Chief, the President has the Constitutional authority to prescribe the types of weapons and ammunition that the 2nd Amendment says a ‘well regulated militia’ should have. The simplicity of my proposal is that we wouldn’t be infringing on the right to bear arms. People would still have this Constitutionally protected right, but very, very few could afford the cost of ammunition.”

Biden added that “there would also be significant gains from eliminating the accumulation of lead in our environment from spent rounds hitting trees and dirt when hunters miss their targets. So, in a way it’s kind of a bipolar inspiration I had.”

Senator Diane Feinstein (D-Calif) heralded Biden’s idea as “a breakthrough of enormous magnitude. The only thing I would add is a proviso that the platinum requirement would only apply to ammunition used by private gun owners. Government law enforcement would need to be exempt for budgetary reasons.”

Feinstein suggested that “existing stocks of lead bullets in private hands could be retrieved via some sort of mandatory ‘buy back’ program. This would effectively criminalize all possession of leaded ammunition as well as give the government an overwhelming advantage in firepower against any opposition.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2013/01/11/veep-suggests-platinum-solution-to-gun-control/


TOPICS: Government; History; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: democrats; guns; satire; tyranny

1 posted on 01/11/2013 7:17:48 PM PST by John Semmens
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 01/11/2013 7:20:35 PM PST by John Semmens
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


3 posted on 01/11/2013 7:21:37 PM PST by John Semmens
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
Looking at this little ditty about the JFK and Lincoln assassinations I realized that there's more than a koinkydink going on all the time ~ that, in fact, all events of a specific class ~ e.g. sex scandals ~ eventually show up at common links.

So it is a new class we can call "How stupid is Obama" and there it is ~ PLATINUM BULLETS!

This one definitely has all the characteristics of the listing "CLINTON BODY COUNT" ~ we haven't had one in a while but maybe we can push this to the point of Leftwingtard Distriction. Make them Democrat fascist piggies squeal!

4 posted on 01/11/2013 7:22:24 PM PST by muawiyah
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


5 posted on 01/11/2013 7:22:37 PM PST by John Semmens
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
Feinstein suggested that “existing stocks of lead bullets in private hands could be retrieved via some sort of mandatory ‘buy back’ program. This would effectively criminalize all possession of leaded ammunition as well as give the government an overwhelming advantage in firepower against any opposition.”

Satire or not, do not think for an instant that the old hag does not dream of this sort of crap.

6 posted on 01/11/2013 7:22:42 PM PST by doorgunner69
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

!!! I’m gonna go out TONIGHT and start ripping off tire balance weights from ALL the cars in the parking lot! Platinum shall never disarm ME!


7 posted on 01/11/2013 7:30:42 PM PST by DBrow
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
If the President were to simply require that platinum be the only metal permitted in bullets we could effectively eliminate privately held guns without actually banning them.

I always wondered why he's called Joey "the Genius" Biden. Now I know.

8 posted on 01/11/2013 7:37:38 PM PST by Standing Wolf
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
Reminds me of Hilaire Belloc's famous bit of doggerel:
I shoot the hippopotamus
With bullets made of platinum,
Because if I use the leaden ones
His hide is sure to flatten 'em.

9 posted on 01/11/2013 7:38:36 PM PST by The_Reader_David (And when they behead your own people in the wars which are to come, then you will know...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

I’m jealous. Your pinglist pings thrice. My poll freeping one only pings twice!

;)


10 posted on 01/11/2013 7:50:05 PM PST by dynachrome (Vertrou in God en die Mauser)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

LOL. I wouldn’t put it past Slow Joe.


11 posted on 01/11/2013 7:52:59 PM PST by mnehring
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
LOL... i bet the Greenies would even bitch about that as bad as lead
12 posted on 01/11/2013 7:53:05 PM PST by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Kind of reminds one of Nazi Germany. Exactly the way Hitler did it.


13 posted on 01/11/2013 7:54:07 PM PST by Logical me
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Shhhhhh! Don’t give the psycholibnazis any ideas.


14 posted on 01/11/2013 7:55:39 PM PST by ReformationFan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Biden is an absolute moronic mental case.


15 posted on 01/11/2013 8:02:17 PM PST by Rapscallion (Obama is America's first tyrant....president in name only - PINO)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Thanks for the head shakin’ chuckle John. Good one, and I wouldn’t even put this past them. The Democraps and their minions of the MSM are slathering us with outrageous Propaganda sauce, and getting ready to toss us on the BBQ. To “H” with the frog in the pot scenario!


16 posted on 01/11/2013 8:09:06 PM PST by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will, they ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Well, if a silver bullet will kill a werewolf...think what a platinum bullet could do!

You might be able to just wave a gun at someone and accomplish the same goal. No cost at all. This suggestion could well backfire..so to speak. :)


17 posted on 01/11/2013 8:23:36 PM PST by berdie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

There’s never a copper round when ya need one...


18 posted on 01/11/2013 8:43:21 PM PST by bigheadfred
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Would we still be allowed silver bullets for werewolves?


19 posted on 01/11/2013 8:58:30 PM PST by null and void (Confiscating guns enables tyranny. Don't enable Tyranny)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

LOL

Ruined it with the satire banner. Still funny.


20 posted on 01/11/2013 9:13:21 PM PST by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DBrow

Look for the ones with loose battery cables. The alarm won’t be working.


21 posted on 01/11/2013 9:15:23 PM PST by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: DBrow

About a year ago the EPA banned lead wheel weights.
Coincidence? Nah....

Lead acid batteries make nice collectibles.


22 posted on 01/11/2013 9:29:20 PM PST by alpo (What would Selco do?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Dang John. Don’t give the commies any ideas.


23 posted on 01/12/2013 12:01:38 AM PST by lwoodham (I am Andrew Breitbart. Don't doubt me on this.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: doorgunner69

There’s the link for the koinkydink ~ Feinstein’s menopause challenges the onset of Hoplophobia ~


24 posted on 01/12/2013 4:42:22 AM PST by muawiyah
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: The_Reader_David
http://www.eliteskills.com/analysis_poetry/Hippopotamus_The_by_Hilaire_Belloc_analysis.php ~ muy excellente.

People must certainly siddle away to the far end of the car when you come up with applicable poetry~!

25 posted on 01/12/2013 4:46:08 AM PST by muawiyah
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: Rapscallion
He has a problem for which he has had brain surgery three times unsuccessfully.

This is the guy Obamugabe imagines ought to investigate the Newtown shooting ~ to come up with solutions ~ or was that solitons.

Joe will never know, but Fur Shur the dude is going to steer everybody away from folks who've had brain surgery!

26 posted on 01/12/2013 4:48:26 AM PST by muawiyah
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Stop giving them ideas.


27 posted on 01/12/2013 4:52:52 AM PST by wastedyears (My life mostly completely turned around in a few weeks. Now to leave NY...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Your satire’s proximity to reality should make us all weep. Better, I suppose, to laugh.


28 posted on 01/12/2013 11:43:15 AM PST by EDINVA
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
Shoot once and go home.
29 posted on 01/12/2013 10:11:25 PM PST by Tainan (Cogito, ergo conservatus sum -- "The Taliban is inside the building")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson