Keyword: hilarity
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South Carolina Democratic candidate Vic Rawl announced Monday he’ll lodge a protest against the June 8 primary vote that handed the little-known Alvin Greene the Democratic nomination for Senate. Citing a “cloud” hanging over the result, Rawl said his 18-percentage-point loss to Greene — who showed few signs of running an operational campaign — warrants further investigation in order to ensure confidence in the state’s election system. “There is a cloud over South Carolina, that affects all of our people, Democrats and Republicans, white and African-American alike. At this point, the people of our state do not have the basic...
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If American Idol had existed during the 40's, this would have gone viral... Florence Foster Jenkins was a soprano who became famous for her complete lack of rhythm, pitch, tone, and overall singing ability. Click here to be transported to a place of ethereal beauty...
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PHOENIX -- Maricopa County jails will play Christmas music and holiday hymns throughout the season, continuing an annual tradition despite multiple lawsuits filed to prevent it, the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office has announced in a news release. The music is played all day in all jails and includes songs and melodies from all countries and faiths in many languages, KPHO-TV in Phoenix reported. In years past, Sheriff Joe Arpaio has personally chosen some of the songs and performers featured, including tunes from Alvin and the Chipmunks, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Bing Crosby and Doctor Demento. "People everywhere deserve a little...
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"God listened carefully to their complaints, weighed their points, then made the earth eat them alive. The text does not make it clear whether or not the earth made that "OM NOM NOM" sound, so scholars are forced to speculate. This really puts things in perspective for the anti-religion critics. They can complain all they want about religious "intolerance" and pushy evangelicals trying to censor TV and annoy people into conversion. But, that's a hell of an improvement over the situation during the Exodus, when God would feed nonbelievers to the mighty Sarlacc."
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Majority Whip (or should I say 'whipped') Trent Lott sent me a letter today on behalf of the NRSC, asking me to send in MONEY! bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha haha. HE EVEN USED TED KENNEDY'S NAME THREE TIMES IN THE LETTER, trying to convince me to support the NRSC. Hey look, I'll support CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICANS...but I'm not giving to an organization supporting Chuck "Bash the War" Hagel, Arlen "Let Santorum Sink" Sphincter, or the rest of the linguini-spined Republicans.
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Nation of Islam leader Minister Louis Farrakhan claims that President Bush deliberately destroyed the New Orleans levee in order to kill black people. Farrakhan told a North Carolina audience: "I heard from a very reliable source who saw a hooded President Bush lead a gang of Ku Klux Klansmen to bomb the levee." Farrakhan said the bombing was foretold in a documentary video called "The Beast of Saturday Night Live" that he rented from Blockbuster several years ago. “This documentary showed uncloaked KKK members claiming to be from France,” said Farrakhan. “But they were really extraterrestrials with cone-shaped heads that...
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I don't know how much longer he's going to go on. Harry Reid (Socialist-NV) just informed Byrd he'd been rambling for 3.5 hours already. Byrd acknowledged he was a blabbermouth, then casually mentioned his wife was in the hospital, "Maybe I oughta go see her," he said.Then he said to Reid, "Gunga Din, you're a better whip than I am."Bobby Byrd is lookin' and soundin' more kooky today.
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LAFAYETTE - No one is questioning a citizens movement to broaden a statute regulating public nudity. But a thorough investigation has led to questions over the nature of the incident that caused the uproar in the first place. As a result, District Attorney Brad Berry is declining to prosecute Emeterio Nava-Azpera, who was arrested July 22 for public indecency. Undersheriff Roy Kindrick said an investigation into what Nava-Azpera was doing at Lafayette Commons Park on July 15 simply did not produce evidence warranting an indictment. But contrary to the contention of parents and citizens pressing to make it easier to...
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House Minority Leader Richard Gephardt (D-Mo.) has told senior Democrats that the party could pick up as many as 40 House seats if the continuously unfolding corporate scandals can be kept on the political radar screen until November, according to sources. The figure far surpasses any that has been suggested previously - even privately - by Gephardt or any other top Democratic campaign official, all of whom have consistently indicated that the House will be won or lost by a slim margin."He said if this thing plays out right, we could pick up 30 to 40 seats," said one Democratic...
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