I know that this may seem stupid, and not at the same level for those who have lost a love through death, but I am really grieving the loss of my one true love through my own failings. I want Brandi back so badly. I know that I will not move on as any relationship after this point is going to be "second best" to me, but I really need help dealing with this change. I could use some help from any and all of you in getting through this. The feelings of regret and sadness fill my heart and I haven't been able to eat in days. I want to get through this for me and for her, but it is really difficult. In the process of panicking while it was falling apart I alienated every friend I had, pretty much, so here I sit alone and down. I want Bran to find happiness whether it is with me or not, but I am really feeling dead here, and could use some help. I tried turning to God to help, but found no relief there. You can email me at Garysnewaddy@hotmail.com. Please, no talk of finding someone else, and no offers of relationship from other ladies. I truly have no interest in that, and it wouldn't be fair to me or the other person because I would always know that I was with someone other than who I want to be with.