Free Republic

What does graceful fat guy who put his name on some easy-listening LPs half a century ago have to do with the Iraqi election? Nothing; but all Sunday, I felt like this. (Note: I first came across this tune in Woody Allen’s Hollywood Ending,” and just loved it. The brass gets a little cartoony with the raspberries, the strings lack that trademark hyper-echoey Gleason schmaltz that accurately captures the third-scotch melancholic recollection of a doomed romance. Highbrow it isn’t, but who cares. It's called "Too Close for Comfort." Which it wasn't, it seems.) I’m just glad I’m stupid enough...

While making dinner, I listened to Hugh broadcasting from the Dem convention, he was interviewing Regis Le Sommier, the American bureau chief for Paris Match, and a man whose name appears to mean King Bedspring. I don’t know if King Bedspring knew how he was being played; I don’t think so. Mr. Hewitt’s objective was simple: explore and amplify French support for John Kerry. It was like a cat playing with a mouse he intended to eat, and the mouse thought they were having dancing lessons. Amusing. “Do you think Chirac’s opposition to the war,” Hugh asked, “was motivated by...

Speaking of Mel: whoever approved the most recent Entertainment Weekly cover needs to be taken aside and given a little talk about religious iconography. The cover shows Mel Gibson photoshopped in chiarascuro light, wearing a crown of film strips bristling with thorns. That would make him Jesus, right? That would equate his decision to make this film with Christ's sacrifice, hmm? The headline: "Can Mel Gibson's Career Survive 'The Passion of the Christ'?" Makes you wonder if an earlier mockup had Mel nailed to a cross. Clueless, these people.

Modern Life: standing in aisle 6 of Walgreens, considering the prices of camcorder tape, noting that the entire tobacco section has been replaced with scented candles, listening to my headphones: the man on the news insisting that America has declared war on Islam, and America will be defeated. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! he said, and he proceeded to tell me nothing I didn’t know already: American troops are kicking down the doors of mosques in Iraq and using flame-throwers on the exposed soles of the faithful, etc etc. I turned it off and took off the headphones. The modern...

Big article in the Strib business section today - billboard ads that go out of their way to be edgy. Money quote: “If you think diarrhea jokes are a bad way to sell Mexican food, you probably won’t be stopping to eat at Chino Latino. And that’s fine with them.” See, they’re the “leading practitioner of edgy advertising. If you don’t get the joke, then they don’t want your business.” Oh, I get the joke. It’s just not that funny. Of the many aren’t-we-naughty! billboards Chino Latino put up, two stood out: one said they had three spice levels. Hot,...

As I pulled into the grocery store parking lot the caller on the talk radio show had worked himself up into such a rant you expected spittle to start flying from the speakers. The show’s guest had written an editorial suggesting that the United States was close to becoming a Soviet-style state, a wretched gray land of domestic oppression. It made me think of a story I’d read in the paper that morning - the state is considering dropping a program that sends nurses to the homes of new parents, giving them valuable hints on childrearing such as “feed...

Allied troops liberated a children’s jail today. I wish that sentence made no sense. Someone had to decide there would be children’s jails. Who? Saddam? He had more important things to do. Children matter as much to his world as dogs, or lamps. He may have signed off on the idea of creating a youth brigade, and put a gold star in the dossier of the sweating toady who proposed the idea. When someone put forth a proposal for jails to hold the children who resisted joining the brigades, he may have felt that spasm of impatience that shoots...

I’m writing this on the anniversary of the murder of Daniel Pearl. Keep that in mind: Thanks to LGF and MEMRI, I’ve become somewhat familiar with the torrents of venom that pour from some mosques in the Middle East. The excerpts I’ve read always end with a plea to God to rev up the slaughter ASAP, with the Jews and the Crusaders being first in line for righteous smiting. There’s a lot of talk about shaking the ground under their feet, terrifying the sons of monkeys, etc etc. On the cool medium of a laptop screen the words look, well,...