Posted on 11/01/2017 9:15:28 AM PDT by Jewbacca
Man Versus Beast
There’s really only one thing a man needs to do to gain a woman’s respect. He needs to be a man.
The good news is that women want a man. The even better news is that there aren’t many to go around—which means that if you can be one, you‘re at the head of the pack.
What is a man?
A man is a multi-storied, burning furnace with a cooling system on the roof. A two legged, upright, impulsive, passion-driven beast with a brain that keeps him in check.
If there’s no beast—well, why would a woman want one of those?
If the brain on top is not doing its job—then what is there to respect?
Which means that being a man is mostly about not being the animal you feel you are.
Men, you get that. Women—I know it’s hard, but you just have to believe us.
Perhaps a woman can be a woman just by being her natural, human self. Having never been a woman, I can’t really say. But I can tell you that a man is someone who is constantly not being the beast that drives him.
The beast says, “I want! Now!” The man says, “I’ll decide.”
The beast says, “Grab it! It’s yours!”
The man says, “Nothing is mine but my own free will. And with my free will, I choose to ignore you.”
The beast says, “Everything is yours! There is nothing else. Everyone is yours! There is no one else. They are all just objects, there to do your bidding!”
And the man says, “There is the Creator who made me and gives me life. There are the people with whom I live and put their trust in me. There is the woman of my covenant whom I respect and love. They are not me, I am not them. She is not me. I am not her. I am a man, and regardless of all the fury with which you may burn, I will act as a man.”
The Fair Maiden’s Hero
“Who is a hero?” asks Ben Zoma in the ancient Mishnah. “He who conquers his own desires.”
Man is made to conquer. The beast inside a man desires to conquer. But the man cannot conquer a thing until he has first conquered that beast within.
The beast remains a beast, a bull, a horse, a goring ox. The beast may desire, but the man is not a slave of those desires. The man must be the one that tells the beast where it can go and where it cannot, where it can look and where it must not, when it should speak and when it should keep its mouth shut tight.
Indeed, the beast is the father of the man.
For only once a man has turned his back to his own maddening passions, resisted the rush of adrenaline pumping through his veins, ignored the screaming amygdala hijack, and just coldly walked away, only then has he touched that which defines him most deeply, that which separates him from beast and angel, that which makes him most divine.
A woman desires a man.
But if a man does not know what makes him a man, how can she know that he is one?
If a man can’t leave space for another, why would she want to stand in his presence?
If a man can't stand up to the fight, why should she respect and admire him?
Many are the men who have never been there. Many are the men who spend an entire life barely cognizant of the power that enables them to become a man.
Because it is not easy to be a man.
The Guide to Being a Man
To be an athlete, you need a trainer. To be a man, you need a guide.
Many guides have been written by many great sages. If you’re looking for the most potent Jewish classic on being a man, look in a small book called Tanya. It’s also known as “Sefer Shel Beinonim”—meaning “The Book for the Everyman.”
In Tanya, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, a great teacher and disciple of the Baal Shem Tov, teaches us all we need to know about our beast inside. True, the guide is for both men and women. But once you see the advice it contains, it is hard to imagine how anyone could be a man without knowing its teachings well.
To deny the power of the beast over your heart and mind is the height of conceit. To surrender is the height of foolishness. teaches: To deny the power of the beast over your heart and mind is the height of conceit. To surrender is the height of foolishness.
So that life is an ongoing wrestling match. The beast will never throw in the towel. It will grow stronger each day, devising yet more strategies to escape its reins, taking yet more devious gambits to declare victory over you.
Your principal strategy is to ignore its wails and tantrums. But the beast is stronger than the man. To win, you need a fire yet more fierce than the fury of the beast. You must find the divine fire from beyond that breathes secretly in a hidden chamber within your heart.
That is your mission. That is why you were thrown into this ring. So that each day, with that fire, you will bring your beast as an offering upon an altar of divine light.
No wonder a woman admires a real man. The One who made him admires him even more.
As I read this I thought Id vs. Superego also Old Adam vs. New Man.
I had a father who taught me all this at critical points in my life.
Sadly too many young men do not.
I am married to a Jewish hand gunner. A real man in every way. :-)
Women get their own article.
I find it hard enough to be a man. They have to figure out how to be a woman.
Yep, they say they want it, but when they HAVE it... a good, solid God fearing and loving guy, retired early & they don’t know how to handle it. I meet most referred through Church friends or events.
So. I’m with you too!! I don’t get it either!!!!!
Talked about this with many married relatives & friends and they told me the same thing.
They may WANT it, but my most recent talk with my Niece said:
“I don’t know how I could handle a man who actually was good and actually respected me.”
Then my Niece & everyone says “Don’t change.”
See what I mean? Ugh.
Hence why a good woman is more precious than gold and rubies.
Ever hear of “No More Mr. Nice Guy”?
Don’t be ruining my joke now. Impolite.
“Ever hear of “No More Mr. Nice Guy”?”
Yep. Ever hear of “Nice Guys Finish Last”??
Not going to stop being a good guy though. Even my Niece says she couldn’t handle being married to a nice guy, tells me, “Don’t change”.
Uh.
And, MeganC, most thinking men and women would agree with you! (Which pretty much rules out any liberal men and women)
I have always found it interesting that Feminism seems to be more about women being men than women being women.
Foolish women who feel trapped in a cage, often want to trade that perceived cage for a quite real different one.
Thank you, Bigg Red!
Think of it from the perspective of evolutionary psychology. A "nice" man might not be sufficiently aggressive to protect his mate and children. Women do not respect a man who is too "nice", who they can walk all over. If he will not stand up to her, then he might not stand up to the world.
Also, women hate being bored. The bad guy may scare her, he may upset her, but he will not bore her.
Answer: Have lots of $$$
CHANGE BARS, GROCERY STORES, COFFEE SHOPS. DO DIFFERENT
Only if the assness is directed at her or the children.
Sadly, as a non-aggressive "nice guy", I agree with you. Many times I've been told I was "too nice". It wasn't until I was in my 50s that I understood "too nice" really meant "not bad enough".
That is how a beast man marries a beast woman.
The goal here is a G-dly man marrying a G-dly woman.
“9pm on a Saturday in September is well after sunset most everywhere, isn’t it?”
Now that I am not responding via iPhone, I will give you a real answer.
The preferred day for Orthodox Jewish people to get married is Tuesday. This relates to how services are structured that day.
But, yes, the evening after the Sabbath (which is a new day) is fine. It’s typically started with the Havdalah, which marks the end of Shabbos.
Me, I was a broke IDF pilot when I married, so Mrs. Jewbacca and I got married on Sunday morning, using left-over decorations from the extremely fancy and tasteful wedding and reception of the night before, which were only slightly refreshed by our families.
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