[OrangeHoof]

Think of it from the perspective of evolutionary psychology. A "nice" man might not be sufficiently aggressive to protect his mate and children. Women do not respect a man who is too "nice", who they can walk all over. If he will not stand up to her, then he might not stand up to the world. Also, women hate being bored. The bad guy may scare her, he may upset her, but he will not bore her.

Sadly, as a non-aggressive "nice guy", I agree with you. Many times I've been told I was "too nice". It wasn't until I was in my 50s that I understood "too nice" really meant "not bad enough".

[Jewbacca]

“Sadly, as a non-aggressive “nice guy”, I agree with you. Many times I’ve been told I was “too nice”. It wasn’t until I was in my 50s that I understood “too nice” really meant “not bad enough”.”

I am reasonably nice, I think. But I am also well along austism spectrum, which makes me very stoic. I am also very tall and a career military person.

The result is I look mean, without actually being mean.

So I get both worlds.

[PapaBear3625]

Sadly, as a non-aggressive "nice guy", I agree with you. Many times I've been told I was "too nice". It wasn't until I was in my 50s that I understood "too nice" really meant "not bad enough".

It's not so much "nice-versus-bad". You just have to be careful that your niceness doesn't come across as wimpy and weak. Think "Han Solo" versus "Luke Skywalker" in the first Star Wars. Think of leading men in the history of the movie business who made women in the audience swoon. Humphrey Bogart. Clark Gable. Clint Eastwood. They could be jerks, but they came across as the kind of guy you wanted watching your back when the manure hit the fan. The strong Alpha male.

Ignore what women say, and look at the "romance novels" that women actually pay money for. Is the guy the girl swoons over ever that nice guy from accounting?