Posted on 04/28/2016 7:06:01 AM PDT by Salvation
The following post contains some adult content. There is nothing inappropriate, but it does speak frankly to an aspect of sexual desire. Exercise caution if reading it to younger children.
There is a secret, once known and widely shared among women, that the best way to get and hold a man’s attention is through modesty. Near nakedness can get a man’s attention, but it is modesty that will hold it.
Why is this so? It is because mystery is powerfully attractive. It entices; it draws and holds one in a kind of suspense. At its heart, modesty is a reverence for mystery. It uses mystery to build the very relationship that is meant to unlock its secrets: Holy Matrimony.
Relationships are not built by a mere glance. Modesty helps to hold the glance while the relationship has time to grow and be tested.
Modesty is not prudishness. The word modesty comes from the word mode, which refers to a central tendency of a group of numbers. As such, modesty is a kind of middle ground that does not seek to burden women with excessive coverings but that also considers the needs of others, so as not to inflame passions and lust. True modesty reveals beauty, but also reminds that much more remains hidden and must be reserved only for the deepest relationship of Holy Matrimony.
Sadly, many women today have not been taught this essential feminine virtue. Men are too often treated to a “full disclosure” or to disclosures that leave little to the imagination. This does excite a kind of “animal” attraction in a man, but it cannot usually hold that attention for very long. Why? Because mystery, once disclosed, is no longer mystery, and its attractive power vanishes quickly. Soon enough, a man who is not attached to a woman for deeper reasons loses interest and starts to be drawn to other women, whose mystery still attracts because it has not been uncovered.
Many men are not even consciously aware that this is why they have lost interest; they do not intend to be crass. But at the level of desire, mystery is important. Once the key has been turned and the mystery unlocked, a powerful card has been played.
Women used to instinctively and collectively know this. They used modesty to hold the man’s attention, build the relationship, summon his proposal of marriage, and then draw him to the marriage bed—not to the back seat of a car or an apartment couch. In the context of a more fully formed relationship the fuller mystery of her was finally revealed and shared. Children usually came quickly in those days and this, too, helped to hold the man fast. Though her mysteries had been revealed, there was now more to keep the man’s attention. For by now, after courtship and engagement, he now knew her more richly in the depth of her person. They had shared memories and become part of each other’s extended families. And even more, their own children were now here, or at least on the way.
The mystery kept secret by modesty was now revealed, but the ties that bind were now operative and filled the role that modesty had assisted in bringing about. And most women of previous generations also knew that even after marriage modesty still had some role, for her modest attire and demeanor still could draw his glance somehow.
Yes, modesty is a great feminine secret, once known by most women. Now, though, many have foolishly cast it aside.
I pray that many will once again discover modesty’s paradoxical draw. While immodesty may attract a man’s quick, animal attention, only modesty can really hold his attention and root it in something higher and better than animal desire. Believe it or not, men have rational souls too! Higher and better motives still work and attract men. Modesty is both powerful and attractive. Here’s to a great “secret weapon”!
May the virtue of modesty return.
Monsignor Pope Ping!
About 20% of high school girls use pharmaceutical contraceptives. Most of these girls have the boys’ attention, and set trends Most pharmaceutical contraceptives function by telling the body that it is pregnant, thereby chemically shutting down ovulation. This also shuts down pheromone production. Boys (post pubescent) are attracted by pheromones. These girls have to take off their clothes to attract boys. They have to act like strippers to get their attention. The pharmaceutical companies and their salesmen, obgyns, the dupes, won’t tell them that
>>>Yes, modesty is a great feminine secret, once known by most women. Now, though, many have foolishly cast it aside.
DUMB! In the disease of islam modesty is touted openly from their property of females being forced to cover the female form... from hair coverings, “tempting eye’s”, make-up, exposed skin to full body Burka’s etc.! Today, the onslaught of islam is demanding full respect of their Islamic culture, even of non-believers!
Wait, are you saying that suggesting that women dressing with a certain level of decorum would benefit from it is akin to supporting ISIS? Hmmmm... that’s a new one.
There is another virtue, known as “moderation.” There is a happy balance between booty-shorts and burkas.
There are ways to dress that flatter the female form without revealing a lot of bare skin. I think the ladies had it good in the 1940s when it comes to fashion (one of my favorite decades for clothing - the 1970s was the worst, except for right now). They could look “hot” without looking like a prostitute.
Never heard of booty-shorts so I did an image search, thank you.
Nope, I’m suggesting islam treats their females a property under the covering (pun indented) of modesty! But, its your call, head coverings in public or head coverings in a place of worship? Believing women must lower their gaze and be modest, cover themselves with veils, and not reveal themselves except to their husbands, relatives, children, and slaves. 24:31
Let’s, not forget that koranic wife beating ayat of 4:34, only for those “rebellious” wives! Another modesty enforcement rule.
Google search for 1940’s fashion images:
Good grief! Modesty does not necessarily mean burqas. Chivalry does not equal misogyny.
So this is not a reference to Modesty Blaise????????
All I can say is the miniskirt was one of the best inventions in the last 2000 years.
And where does modesty “stop & start”?
Wonderfully true. The woman’s movement has cheated so many young girls by blessing them with permission to have sex on demand, associating it with equality. My niece said I was told fashioned. Yes, I countered, more as I aged and assured that I was correct. If a man wanted to be with an equal he would go out with another guy and have a good time. Deference and respect are what a woman should have in a man woman relationship.
My mother taught me that some things were meant only for my husband. Modesty is still considered a virtue in our family. Anything less demeans the woman, her husband and children as well as her family.
I have said it a hundred times:
There is nothing more sexy than a chaste woman.
Amen!
On a hopeful note, while shopping recently I passed by the bathing suits section, where one caught my attention because it was so unexpected these days. It was a dear little black one-piece with a ruffled trim in black and white. No plunging neckline. Very modest and very retro.
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