How Do You Dress for Church? Some Helpful Encouragement from a New Video

Archdiocese of Washington ^ | 07-12-15 | Msgr. Charles Pope

[Salvation]

How Do You Dress for Church? Some Helpful Encouragement from a New Video

Msgr. Charles Pope • July 12, 2015 • 14 Comments

I have written at length before on the issues of modesty and how we dress for Mass:

• http://blog.adw.org/2010/05/adore-the-lord-in-holy-attire-on-proper-dress-for-mass/
• http://blog.adw.org/2012/04/i-miss-women-wearing-hats-and-veils-in-church-a-brief-reminiscence-of-days-gone-by/
• http://blog.adw.org/2013/07/have-we-lost-reverence-in-church-these-days-how-can-we-recover-it/
• http://blog.adw.org/2010/02/modesty-is-reverence-for-mystery/
• http://blog.adw.org/2010/04/modesty-and-men/

Rather than repost all that commentary here, I would like to focus on a new video (thanks to Brandon Vogt and the other producers) that invites us to be more considerate about how we dress for Holy Mass. The video is quite balanced and presents a range of views. One man wears a tie, the other does not; one woman wears a dress, the other, slacks. The point is not to specify in minute detail what is to be worn, but rather to reinstall a devotion that influences our clothing and demeanor at Mass within a range that is culturally recognizable as appropriate for the occasion.

As a “range” this will vary a bit based on age, season, climate, personal issues, and the like. But a range, while admitting variability still has limits beyond which we ought not to go. Consider of a road with several lanes; it also has shoulders and a guardrail. And while one may travel in any of the different lanes (styles), the shoulders should ordinarily be avoided (except for urgent reasons). The guardrail represents a final limit which, if transgressed, indicates that one has gone beyond safety and prudence.

Here are a few random observations about the range of clothing decisions for Holy Mass and what might affect and influence that range.

1. Church norms and rules – There are no official, specific Church norms or requirements for lay persons who attend Mass mentioned in Canon Law or the Sacramentary. Surely for priests and other clergy there are many rules and norms, but I am unaware of any currently binding norms for the laity. Although veils were once required for women (in the 1917 Code of Canon Law), the current code is silent on the matter.
2. Hence it seems that the culture supplies most of the norms. A factor to be considered is that in the West, the culture has become secular and does not therefore supply a proper sense of the sacred. Therefore Catholics ought not to simply consider cultural norms in assessing proper attire for Holy Mass.
3. For, indeed, in American culture we almost never dress up for anything anymore. Casual is an almost ubiquitous norm. Most of us who are older than fifty remember a time when this was not so. Prior to 1968 (when the culturkampf really exploded) one would almost never think of going into a restaurant in shorts or a T-shirt. Trousers with a belt, and a button-down shirt with a collar were the expected norm. This norm prevailed in most other public places as well. Shorts and T-shirts were fine for the backyard, but not out in public. Today such norms are long-gone and casual attire prevails almost everywhere. Jeans and T-shirts, once considered rather sloppy except for those engaged in physical labor, and are now considered fashionable.
4. So the cultural norms have changed. Some of us who are older or more conservative lament this. But some room has to be made for the general consideration of things like fashion and for the fact that people have different opinions about what is acceptable.
5. But remember, saying that there is a range does not mean that there are no limits. There is some right and duty to insist on limits and to indicate offense when necessary. The culture, even if it has gone casual, does not alone supply a proper sense of dress for Holy Mass, since the culture has become secular.
6. Sadly, even among many Catholics, attitudes about Holy Mass have changed, too, arguably for the worse. Poor catechism, bad liturgical practices, secularism, other cultural trends, and even architecture have all lessened the reverence many Catholics have for Holy Mass. Many do not consider that they go to meet and worship God. Communal dimensions, not bad in themselves, prevail; they are out-of-balance and eclipse the presence of God and the orientation that Holy Mass should have toward God. We aren’t just “going to Church,” we are going to encounter God and worship Him. But this is simply not the emphasis in most people’s minds and it affects the way they dress.
7. God cares how we dress. One of the replies that sometimes comes back in discussions about proper attire is that “God doesn’t care how I dress.” One ought to avoid saying that God doesn’t care about things, especially when His revealed word indicates otherwise. There are actually a number of places where God indicates in His Word that He does care about such stuff. There is the general directive to Adore the Lord in holy attire (Psalm 96:9; Ps 29:2). Moses was told to remove his shoes for he stood on holy ground. There are directives for the Passover meal that one should have staff in hand, with loins girt, and sandals on his feet (Ex 12:11). St. Paul speaks to norms of his day regarding decorum and orderliness in worship, that women cover their heads in prayer, etc. (cf 1 Cor 11 – 14). Granted, these norms spoke to the culture of that time and admit of interpretation. But it is wrong to say categorically that “God doesn’t care how I dress.” God does care, because, as we all intrinsically know, the way we dress says a lot about how we regard something and affects how we behave. Even in our more casual times, people know the value of dressing well for a job interview, or for important events such as a prom, a wedding, or a State dinner. Clothing both signifies and affects our attitudes. To this extent God does care, because he looks to our heart and its condition. And we, too, should care, by observing a proper range of clothing choices for something as significant as Holy Mass, wherein we go to worship the God of the Universe and take part in the Wedding Feast of the Lamb. Holy attire is fitting for holy things, holy rituals, and holy people.
8. Climate – Another common reply is that it is “hot.” Yet here in America, I can hardly avoid chuckling at that response. For the most part, people leave their air-conditioned homes, get into their air-conditioned cars, and walk into air-conditioned churches. It may be hot outside, but most people spend little time in any sort of heat. It is also fascinating to me that our most recent ancestors, who had no air-conditioning at all, usually dressed and wore a lot more clothing than we do. I suspect one thing that helped them was that they wore more natural fibers such as cotton and linen. So this retort seems more rooted in a “comfort culture” that has made us soft and out-of-touch with the real weather outside. However, as noted above, climate and weather are factors in the range of clothing that is acceptable. Back in the “old days,” before the revolution, during the hot summer we would usually wear “only” a shirt and tie to Mass. It was mainly in the cooler months that a suit jacket was worn.
9. Getting smarter about clothes? People often ask me, as a priest, how I tolerate the hot summers in Washington. I generally find that loose-fitting clothing is actually better than less clothing. My summer cassock (which has no liner) is a better option around the parish because it breathes more and shades my skin from the hot sun. Linen albs are best in hot weather since modern polyesters don’t breathe well. I am least comfortable in the black business suit I am often asked to wear. I shop for suit jackets without liners, but they are hard to find.
10. The common good – In going to Mass, we do not simply dress to “suit” ourselves. We ought to have the common good in mind as well. Demonstrating the sacredness of Holy Mass is helpful to us and to others as well. Being careful not to dress in ways that distract others (by immodesty other such things) is important. The way we dress can be a teachable moment for others.
11. Charity – Discussions about attire can easily descend into a lack of proper charity. We have to accept that there are going to be differences of opinion and, as I have said all along, there is a range of what is appropriate. The main hope is to scope out a sensible range, allow reasonable diversity within that range, and seek to correct extremes. Simply scoffing at others from either side (too casual or too formal) creates more heat than light. The main point is to consider what Holy Mass is, and to dress accordingly within an acceptable range, out of faith and charity.

What to wear, what not to wear?

Hence at the risk of seeming old and stuffy I’d like to suggest a few norms for attire at Holy Mass. I hope you’ll supply your own as well.

1. Men should wear formal shoes. We used to call these hard shoes (because they were) but today many formal shoes are actually quite comfortable. Sandals (not flip-flops) can be acceptable.
2. Men should wear trousers (not jeans).
3. Men should never wear shorts.
4. Men should wear a decent shirt, preferably a button-down shirt. If it is a pullover shirt it should include a collar. Wearing a plain T-shirt without a collar seems too informal. No sleeveless shirts or tank tops should be worn.
5. Men should consider wearing a tie, and in cooler weather, a suit coat. Some may consider this a bit too stuffy and formal, but who knows, you might be a trend setter!
6. Now as I talk about women I know I’ll get in some trouble!
7. Women should wear decent shoes. Flip-flops and beach sandals seem inappropriate. Some forms of sandals are more dressy and can be acceptable
8. Women, like men, should not wear shorts.
9. Women, like men, should not wear jeans, and though there is such a thing as fashionable jeans, they are seldom a good match to the Sacred Liturgy. Some nice and modest slacks can be fine.
10. Women should consider wearing a dress or at least a skirt in preference to pants. It just looks a bit more formal than pants in most cases.
11. Women should wear a nice blouse or shirt (if not wearing a dress). The blouse or shirt should not be too tight.
12. Women should not wear tank tops, tube tops, spaghetti straps, or have a bare midriff.
13. For both men and women, T-shirts with loud and obnoxious slogans or secular messages are inappropriate, as are sports jerseys and other sports paraphernalia.

Well, have at this list; add or subtract as you will; the discussion is open. But please, try to remain charitable; we all have opinions. Someone who doesn’t share your exact view isn’t necessarily a bad person. There is a range of acceptable options. Don’t attack the blogger (me) or your fellow commenters. Stick to the issue and comment on that.

If possible, please watch the video before commenting.

I have avoided speaking directly to modesty in this post. That, too, admits of a range and often leads to debates about men and women that I’d like to avoid here. Let’s focus on a sense of the sacred in attire, a theme that includes modesty but is wider than just modesty.

Here’s the video:

[Alex Murphy]

I would like to focus on a new video (thanks to Brandon Vogt and the other producers) that invites us to be more considerate about how we dress for Holy Mass. The video is quite balanced and presents a range of views. One man wears a tie, the other does not; one woman wears a dress, the other, slacks. The point is not to specify in minute detail what is to be worn, but rather to reinstall a devotion that influences our clothing and demeanor at Mass within a range that is culturally recognizable as appropriate for the occasion.

Amazing how often I get to trot this out:

POORLY DRESSED MAN
With no apologies to ZZ Top

Clean shirt, shined shoes
Hope it gets me where I'm goin’ to
Silk suit, black tie
Fire insurance is my reason why
Sanctificatin' just as fast as I can, 'coz there
Ain't no forgiveness for a poorly dressed man.

Gold watch, pinky ring
Hope the Good Lord likes all my bling bling
Cufflinks, "Knights" pin
You ain't got one? You ain't gettin' in!
Ushers not comin’ with no plates in their hands, 'coz
A widow's mite gets you just a poorly dressed man

Top coat, top hat
cummerbund to hide my body fat
Black suede Bible cover
for my Vulgate, it ain't like no other
Angels lift my patent leather soles off the sand, 'coz
In Heaven there's no seating for a poorly dressed man

[elcid1970]

When it comes to judging others by how they dress for church, I follow the example of the late great Lewis Grizzard.

One Sunday a young woman attempted to sit in the pew in front of me. Attempted because her legs were so long & her miniskirt so short, that she literally had to sit nearly sideways. I raised my eyes heavenward & prayed,

“O Lord, I do thank Thee for vouchsafing unto me, Thy humble servant, this heavenly vision of some of the beautiful things which Thou hast made!”

(flameproof suit donned)

;^)

[taxcontrol]

More rules to separate the members of the church from the people and make new comers feel less welcome. I have seen it and even have had people say to me that they were glad that they could come to our church “dressed down” and were accepted as they were.... jeans and all. Some had fallen on hard times and didn’t have nice clothes. They felt that when they attended a “traditional” church that everyone dressed up, that they were looked down upon. That was really a shame because they turned out to be a really nice family.

[buffaloguy]

In the South parking lots are above 100 degrees and we dress a bit lighter than many yankees on Sunday.

No, I am not joking.

[Mr Rogers]

“Give God your best. You have to decide what that means.”

I’m Baptist, FWIW. I mostly agree with this.

I often am outdoors riding horses or doing some work in the cool of the morning before church. So I shower. I then put on fresh, clean jeans. No holes. Standard jeans - the only kind I own. Wranglers, $17 at Walmart.

I don’t mind someone else wearing a T-shirt, and have myself at times. But I usually think a button down shirt is better. I normally grab a bolo tie - the Official State neck tie of Arizona.

I’ll make sure I’ve shaved and my hair is combed.

We go to church to worship and encounter the God of the Universe. Yes, He sent me in to the world naked, but that doesn’t mean He wants me to come to church that way.

In the small semi-rural Arizona church I go to, the pastor wears a tie. Maybe once a month, I’ll see another man wearing a tie. Bolo ties are commonly worn by the older men, like myself. Younger men almost never wear a tie of any kind.

I wear sneakers about 50% of the time. Most of the men do. I wear cowboy boots the rest of the time. For the morning service, I’m more likely to wear dress boots.

Unless someone is wearing clothes that are likely to distract others, I reckon it isn’t my business. A woman who came wearing a bikini would be told to cover up. A woman wearing a dress with the cleavage at her navel would be asked to cover up. A guy without a shirt, likewise.

Someone wearing an old T-shirt, shorts and flip flops would be welcomed. None of the regulars dress like that, and we honestly haven’t had many who do. We should approach God with reverence and the fear of the Lord. But how that translates into dress depends.

However, I do miss the days when people didn’t wear their pajamas in public, and sweats were for sweating in during a workout, and no one thought their crotch needed to be displayed to the rest of the world!

[windcliff]

ping

[Resolute Conservative]

My pet peeves are this:
1. Men who wear hats inside the sanctuary (this includes metro-millennial watch caps).
2. Visible tats.
3. Shorts and t-shirts.
4. Dresses above mid-thigh.
5. Backless dresses.
6. Visible underwear and bras.
7. Over-abundant cleavage.

[Benito Cereno]

Mark 7

[Vigilanteman]

Years ago, a Catholic friend invited me up for an job interview. Since I arrived on a Sunday for a Monday interview, I was invited to attend mass with his family.

Since it was a short trip, I only had packed a polo shirt and a suit for the interview. "Don't wear the suit," he warned me, "you'd be greatly overdressed."

So I wore the polo shirt and was still overdressed.

[Chickensoup]

When I was a young girl I remember owning a matching outfit. It was a Saturday outfit consisting of a blouse shorts and a wraparound skirt and a triangle kerchief. I think one work the shorts all Saturday and the wrap around skirt fit over it so one could go to confession Saturday afternoon and of course pop the kerchief on one’s head.

With sneakers or sandals of course.

[Resolute Conservative]

I missed two:

8. Flipflops, sandals, or mandles.
9. Starbucks or over beverage being swilled during service.

[JAKraig]

I can’t imagine anyone turning someone away from a worship service no matter how they are dressed. That being said, I believe that the way you dress is a display of the respect you have for coming into the presence of God.

I love The Lord with all my heart, to me wearing less than a nice suit would be disrespectful. I would not go to a meeting with the president of the United States in blue jeans. I would not go to visit the Queen of England in a Tee Shirt. In those two circumstances you can bet I would be wearing a freshly cleaned suit with a winkle free clean white shirt and nice tie. My shoes will be shined, my skin will be clean and my hair combed.

Some people probably don’t feel as close to The Lord as I do and to them they don’t understand this feeling of respect, they may be coming to find out if there is a God, how can you respect something you aren’t sure you believe exists, so for those people less formal attire may be appropriate. I know Him and I will not disrespect Him. I will wear the best I have when I come to His House.

[ScottinVA]

That was really a shame because they turned out to be a really nice family.

The church I attend simply says, dress modestly. We'd would rather have the people in the doors to hear the Word, even in T-shirts and jeans, than passing it by, worried about whether they're "dressed up" enough.

[SpirituTuo]

It has been my experience that the attire of the congregation is correlated to the respect for the Blessed Sacrament.

Sometimes the congregation isn’t well informed, or well catechized, and thus the attire. I was really shocked, in one parish, to find people wearing the local NFL jersey to Mass on game day. While it is good they went to Mass, it is certainly more important than football.

[Mom MD]

Not catholic but there are many times I took the kids to church in their sports uniforms as we had a game right after church There are also times when I attend in scrubs either on the way or on the way home from work I think God would rather have me there in scrubs than not at all.....

[Salvation]

BTTT! Good comments.

[Salvation]

**Starbucks or over beverage being swilled during service.**

People can be asked to finish their drink in the vestibule, then enter the sanctuary part of the church.

[Salvation]

Scrubs would be OK; I totally understand.

One of the most moving scenes, of course I was sobbing, was the Little League All-Star team in full uniform (including cleats) serving as pall bearer for my husband’s casket at his funeral.

(My husband had been president of the local Little League teams for several years, but had passed that duty on to someone else.)

[Tennessee Nana]

Yesterday I wore Jeans, T-Shirt, hoodie and sneakers ...

Jesus wore a dress...

[miss marmelstein]

My husband as a kid had to sit with his class - this was the Bronx. Jackets and ties always. We never had air-conditioning in church - most of the churches were stone and therefore pretty cool. But if we were caught fanning ourselves, Sister would swoop down with that clicker!