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Three Things You Need to Know About Pornography
CHASTITY.COM ^ | Matt Fradd

Posted on 09/25/2014 8:25:58 AM PDT by Morgana

1. The reasons pornography is not wrong.

Pornography isn’t wrong because sex is bad or the body shameful. It's wrong because sex is good and the body magnificent! As Christians we must never forget whose idea sex was in the first place. It was not thought up by Hugh Hefner or by Cosmopolitan magazine but by God! In fact, God's very first commandment to humanity in the Bible is to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen 1:28)! And as philosopher Dr. Peter Kreeft noted, “I do not think he meant for us to grow oranges and invent calculators.”

Pornography is wrong because it removes sexual intimacy from its natural context, turning it into a commodity to be bought and sold. It has been rightly said that the problem with porn is not that it shows too much but that it shows too little—too little of the human person.

Pornography reduces the mystery and beauty of a man or woman to a collection of body parts to be used rather than recognizing them as persons to be loved. It reduces the great mystery and sanctity of human sexuality to a trivial activity that need not be of any real importance.

2. Pornography is not just a man’s issue.

While it is certainly true that men have cornered the market on visual pornography, it’s not true that women don’t also struggle. One survey revealed that 34 percent of female subscribers of Today’s Christian Woman online newsletter admitted to intentionally accessing Internet porn.

Because pornography is predominantly consumed by men, many women who struggle with pornography feel an even greater sense of shame and isolation. One young woman I know put it this way:

For over seven years, I was addicted to hardcore pornography, masturbation, and lust—and I am a woman. Often we hear that women may struggle with fantasy and romance novels, but porn—porn is a guy thing. One of the most shaming statements I ever heard was, "Women just don’t have this problem." I started to lose hope after I heard that. How do you argue with the ‘fact’ that only men struggle with porn? It is sad, because this mindset is causing so much damage to women. It causes many women to question their sexuality and wonder if they are homosexual because they are involved in a sin "only men" get caught up in. It isolates them, silences them, keeps them trapped in this sin and drives them further away from freedom and into the darkness.

If you or a woman you know struggles with pornography, be assured that you are not alone. Help is available, and healing is possible. You might begin by visiting the website Beggar's Daughter.

3. Porn stars don’t enjoy what they do.

When I inquired of a friend of mine, a former porn star, if this was the case, she said, “Well, there are several reasons why girls get into the porn industry, but a hardcore sex drive isn’t one of them. I know, because that’s what I used to tell people in interviews.” Another former porn star put it this way:

Sex-packed porn films featuring freshly dyed blondes whose evocative eyes say ‘I want you’ is quite possibly one of the greatest deceptions of all time. Trust me, I know. I did it all the time, and I did it for the lust of power and the love of money. I never liked sex. I never wanted sex, and in fact I was more apt to spend time with Jack Daniels than some of the studs I was paid to fake it with. That’s right—none of us freshly dyed blondes like doing porn. In fact, we hate it. We hate being touched by strangers who care nothing about us. . . . Some women hate it so much you can hear them vomiting in the bathroom between scenes. Others can be found outside smoking an endless chain of Marlboro Lights. . . . But the porn industry wants YOU to think we porn actresses love sex. They want you to think we enjoy being degraded by all kinds of repulsive acts.

Pornography “immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world” (CCC 2354). One such illusion is that the women in the porn industry enjoy making pornography. While this may be a convenient illusion for those seeking to justify their pornography use, the reality behind the fantasy is another story entirely.

For an eye-opening and detailed insight into the world of pornography, get my two-CD set, The Ugly Truth. On the first CD I interview a former porn star, on the second a former Playboy producer. I truly believe that anyone who listens to this with an open mind will never be able to truly justify pornography again.


TOPICS: Catholic; Moral Issues
KEYWORDS: moralabsolutes; porn; pornography
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To: metmom

Kind of a broad brush you paint there. Are there men that are that way of course... but to say ALL men are that way.. I know plenty of guys who work AND do housework too! I do myself, mostly because I get home before she does...

Though I know of a couple women that want it FAR more than the men.. its def the minority.


41 posted on 09/25/2014 9:50:47 AM PDT by wyowolf
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To: metmom

You left out where, between putting all the children to bed and providing sex, you have to watch tv for a couple of hours. Otherwise you “never want to do anything with him.”


42 posted on 09/25/2014 9:58:22 AM PDT by Tax-chick (I can play the piano just as well with or without shoes.)
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To: dfwgator

Are those the words of Al Bundy?


43 posted on 09/25/2014 10:09:13 AM PDT by Married with Children
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To: Married with Children

The Bundy Creed.


44 posted on 09/25/2014 10:09:51 AM PDT by dfwgator (The "Fire Muschamp" tagline is back!)
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To: Morgana

My wife made me buy it.


45 posted on 09/25/2014 10:11:19 AM PDT by onedoug
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To: Morgana

1. Attention: Millions of girls LOVE the attention the camera provides them.

2. Acceptance: : Girls are EASILY goaded into doing it by their friends.

3. Cash: $500 cash is a lot of money to them.

There is a limitless supply of girls looking for the attention, the acceptance, and the cash. Many of them believe those pictures will lead to them being “stars”.

Easiest way to get laid in LA: Hi, honey, I’m a producer. You look like a star.”

Porn isn’t slavery in that someone ripped their clothes off them. Posing for nude is done for the reasons I stated above.


46 posted on 09/25/2014 10:15:01 AM PDT by CodeToad (Romney is a raisin cookie looking for chocolate chip cookie votes.)
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To: CodeToad

Some of it is attention. Some of it is drugs. Some of it is sex trafficking.


47 posted on 09/25/2014 10:21:20 AM PDT by Morgana ( Always a bit of truth in dark humor.)
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To: Morgana

Thanks for posting this Morgana. It has also been established that there is a strong link between pornography and sexual abuse of minors (male and female) by men.


48 posted on 09/25/2014 10:32:58 AM PDT by jimbug
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To: Ransomed

>>Except there are no actual sex industry workers needed to produce porn books for women like there has to be to produce live action porn for men.

There’s now an entire genre of porn called “Female Friendly”.


49 posted on 09/25/2014 10:35:13 AM PDT by Bryanw92 (Sic semper tyranni)
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To: Morgana
It takes 14 months quitting cold turkey to get over the affects of porn.

It take me about an hour.

50 posted on 09/25/2014 10:36:33 AM PDT by Travis T. OJustice (I miss you, dad.)
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To: DaveyB
So how is it different than network TV, Romance novels and Pop music?

It's not.

My theory is that the real source of anti-porn sentiments are that:

Wives feel like they have to work at being better in bed when they would rather not. Also they have to pay more attention to their appearance.

WRONG!!!!!

How would MEN like being compared to some handsome movie star and being told that they are coming up short?

And based on what I see walking on the streets in general, I don't see a lot of men who seem to care much about THEIR appearance?

Sex is a lever of control for women over men, especially wives over their husbands and porn neutralizes that control.

Not necessarily so. I know that some women do use it as such, but a woman who's husband is meeting her emotional needs isn't going to have that problem.

Porn is a male expression of sexual desire, where romance novels and the lifetime channel are female expressions: feminists condemn male sexuality while embracing the female desires.

Sadly true. The thing that so many seem to not realize is that for women sex is more about emotional fulfillment than physical fulfillment. Women will get that from romance novels. That's why they are so popular over simply viewing sex.

Either way, it short changes relationship and puts unrealistic expectations on BOTH parties. Women for not looking or acting like a porn star, and men for not acting like the romancer in the novels or soap stories.

The church has not recovered from a thousand years of tepidly condemning sex and veneration of celibacy creating a guilt complex over real intimacy.

I have to agree but you'll be hearing about it from some who still think that way.

Porn is like the term abuse, it has no fixed meaning so that discontent wives can always have something to feel offend and threatened about and therefor can maintain their life of drama.

If men are getting their sexual fulfillment from someone or something besides their wives, those woman have a legitimate reason to feel offended and threatened.

Pron destroys relationships.

It's the mans job to be the provider and protector of the family and if he abdicates that role, he has no one to blame but himself for the consequences.

A woman's self-esteem is often tied to how her husband views her as being attractive and desirable and if he's sending her signals that she's not, by viewing porn, then he is not providing for her needs nor protecting their marriage.

51 posted on 09/25/2014 11:05:47 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: wyowolf

Hey, I know that there are exceptions to every rule, and that there are women who are nothing more than overgrown, spoiled brats.

However, stereotypes exist for a reason, and exceptions are not it.


52 posted on 09/25/2014 11:08:15 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: Tax-chick
You left out where, between putting all the children to bed and providing sex, you have to watch tv for a couple of hours. Otherwise you “never want to do anything with him.”

Like sitting in front of the tube is *doing something together*......

I don't think that it occurs to men to continue treating their wives after marriage the way they did before, to catch them.

I guess they figure that once they have them, they don't have to work at the relationship any more.

Married women still want to be romanced and chased. That doesn't change with the wedding ring.

If men went to the trouble of keeping up that kind of relationship, I daresay, they'd find a warmer welcome in bed.

53 posted on 09/25/2014 11:11:16 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: metmom
How would MEN like being compared to some handsome movie star and being told that they are coming up short?

Substitute handsome for power, money, bad boy tingles, and status and your comparison crumbles.

...a woman who's husband is meeting her emotional needs isn't going to have that problem.

But if a woman meets her husbands sexual needs he wont have that problem... 1 Cor 7:5 & 9.

What if men refused to go to work when their "needs" have not been met like women are told to not have sex with husbands when their "needs" have not been met? Other foot meet the shoe!

The thing that so many seem to not realize is that for women sex is more about emotional fulfillment than physical fulfillment...

By emotional fulfillment I think you mean to say her own selfish reasons on her terms. BTW to imply that through physical fulfillment is somehow separate and apart from emotional is a cavil and compartmentalization that denies the design of God for sex.

A woman's self-esteem is often tied to how her husband views her as being attractive and desirable and if he's sending her signals that she's not, by viewing porn, then he is not providing for her needs nor protecting their marriage.

A man's self esteem is often ties to how his wife views him as as being attractive and desirable and if he's sending him signals that is not, by defrauding in bed or sandbagging through effortless sex, then she is not providing for his needs not protecting their marriage.

You think porn destroys relationships. Here is the 100 proof truth if you can handle it: feminism kills marriages and drives men to use porn.

54 posted on 09/25/2014 11:23:51 AM PDT by DaveyB ("When injustice becomes the law; rebellion becomes duty." - Thomas Jefferson)
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To: CodeToad

I agree with the mix of a camera and the draw to it by most women.

What few times I have put out a casting or cattle call via onemodelplace or modelmayhem and Craigslist, I get a fair amount of responses. Most are flakes and no shows. Then again where I am, it’s not the entertainment mecca.


55 posted on 09/25/2014 11:28:16 AM PDT by wally_bert (There are no winners in a game of losers. I'm Tommy Joyce, welcome to the Oriental Lounge.)
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To: DaveyB

I don’t disagree that feminism destroys marriages, but I disagree that it drives men to porn.

Men do porn of their own choice and volition.

TO claim that they’re *driven* to it is blame-shifting and refusing to take responsibility for their actions, only further reinforcing the feminist stereotypes of men are being weak and immature.

If men said *No!* to porn, the industry wouldn’t exist. No one is forcing it on them.


56 posted on 09/25/2014 11:51:58 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: VanDeKoik

The Feminazis are now attacking other women for “slut shaming”.

Which I suppose means it’s no longer PC to tell another woman that she shouldn’t act like a tramp.


57 posted on 09/25/2014 11:54:10 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: DaveyB

Based on your homepage, I am going to presume that if you’re following Scriptural principles, it’s the MAN’S responsibility to make sure the marriage is working.

As Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.

Two excellent resources for marriage counseling and anyone wanting to improve their own marriage situation.

Building an Emotionally Healthy Marriage by Jimmy Evans.

The Act of Marriage by Tim LaHaye.


58 posted on 09/25/2014 11:57:03 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: metmom
I am going to presume that if you’re following Scriptural principles, it’s the MAN’S responsibility to make sure the marriage is working.

The scripture does not give men the responsibility to to make sure the marriage is working. Sorry that is a canard to allow women to shirk work and then to blame men.

Would you accuse Hosea of being a bad husband? Would you accuse Christ of not loving His church enough that she would respond with true worship in spirit and truth? NO! Gomer was responsible for her whoredom, and the church for its lack of affection and obedience. Like wise a wife is responsible for her own defrauding and thereby removing a shield of defense for her husband against the wiles of Lucifer.

The Bible does gives husbands the responsibility to be the head, to rule his household well and to wash and water his wife with the Word. She has also been given responsibilities (I prefer the Biblical word of duties) to honor her husband, submit to him in all things and to enrapture him sexually with her body. He has no remedy for a rebellious wife but to confront her with the word, to sleep on the roof and battle Lucifer alone.

Are you aware that the marriage counseling industry was created to give women more power over their husbands? (egalitarian is a fancy name for rebellion where God has created a chain of command). Are you aware that even so called christian marriage ministries that call men to man up and lead also call for him to submit to his wife and encourage her to rebel against the authority God gave him?

59 posted on 09/25/2014 12:12:28 PM PDT by DaveyB ("When injustice becomes the law; rebellion becomes duty." - Thomas Jefferson)
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To: Morgana
"Porn stars don’t enjoy what they do."

I was unaware of the myth that the stars enjoy what they do. In any event, I doubt whether the consumers of hard core porn really care one way or the other.

60 posted on 09/25/2014 12:16:20 PM PDT by circlecity
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