Based on your homepage, I am going to presume that if you’re following Scriptural principles, it’s the MAN’S responsibility to make sure the marriage is working.
As Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.
Two excellent resources for marriage counseling and anyone wanting to improve their own marriage situation.
Building an Emotionally Healthy Marriage by Jimmy Evans.
The Act of Marriage by Tim LaHaye.
The scripture does not give men the responsibility to to make sure the marriage is working. Sorry that is a canard to allow women to shirk work and then to blame men.
Would you accuse Hosea of being a bad husband? Would you accuse Christ of not loving His church enough that she would respond with true worship in spirit and truth? NO! Gomer was responsible for her whoredom, and the church for its lack of affection and obedience. Like wise a wife is responsible for her own defrauding and thereby removing a shield of defense for her husband against the wiles of Lucifer.
The Bible does gives husbands the responsibility to be the head, to rule his household well and to wash and water his wife with the Word. She has also been given responsibilities (I prefer the Biblical word of duties) to honor her husband, submit to him in all things and to enrapture him sexually with her body. He has no remedy for a rebellious wife but to confront her with the word, to sleep on the roof and battle Lucifer alone.
Are you aware that the marriage counseling industry was created to give women more power over their husbands? (egalitarian is a fancy name for rebellion where God has created a chain of command). Are you aware that even so called christian marriage ministries that call men to man up and lead also call for him to submit to his wife and encourage her to rebel against the authority God gave him?
Never heard of Jimmy Evans, but a significant number of reputable Christian marriage experts don’t have much nice to say about LaHaye’s book.
Leman’s ‘’Sheet Music’’, Penner’s ‘’The Gift of Sex’’ and Nelson’s ‘’The Book of Romance’’ are far, far better.
I also remember years ago, Dr. Laura being very critical of married men who viewed porn on line. Her view changed dramatically when she got a letter from a married man who was denied sex with his wife and expressed the frustration and depression the rejection caused him; especially since he would never consider having an affair. After that letter, her first question to a woman calling in about her husband’s porn habit became, ‘’How easy is it for your husband to have sex with you, and how often do you initiate sex with him?’’ Most often, the silence was deafening. At that point, Dr. Laura would make the simple, but honest observation, ‘’How can you blame him if you are refusing his sexual advances?’’
Not saying it is true in every case, but married women sometimes must accept some responsibilty if their husbands are using porn.