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Woman wonders, ‘Will I be fat in heaven?’
Lark News ^ | B. Jokin

Posted on 11/27/2012 9:00:34 AM PST by Gamecock

BROKEN ARROW, Okla. — Kerrie Jameson is confident she is going to heaven. What scares her is the possibility that she’ll show up 30 pounds overweight and stay that way forever.

“I work a desk job, and my physique reflects that,” says Jameson, 28, who used to work out daily but has fallen into bad eating habits. “I have this horrible image of myself standing before the throne looking like a lumpy sack of flour. Everyone else will be worshiping, and I’ll be slinking off to a corner to eat chocolate and console myself.”

The idea of being fat in heaven first occurred to her during a sermon on Jesus’ nail-scarred hands and feet. Jameson realized that some earthly attributes, including physical characteristics, follow us to the next life.

“Jesus still has wounds on his body,” Jameson says. “Doesn’t that tell us something? What if I die before I get my weight down? Will I be stuck like this always? Will I have to diet in heaven?”

Concerned, she brought it up at a recent women’s retreat, sparking a vigorous discussion during the afternoon meeting. Jameson said she dreaded the prospect of “wearing a plus-size robe for eternity” and was searching for any biblical evidence that people in heaven will have bodies that “represent their perfect selves.”

Her secret hope, applauded by many of the women, was that when she walks through the pearly gates the weight will “disappear” to be remembered no more.

“If overeating is a sin, and the effects of sin are completely wiped away in heaven, then people with weight issues should be in the clear,” she said.

Brianna Worthington, 27, a mom who is in marathon shape, openly disagreed.

“I haven’t worked this hard on my body only to have it taken away once I die,” she said to scattered boos. “Don’t our works follow us? Don’t we get rewarded for what we’ve done down here? Do I get nothing for keeping my temple in shape?”

She said it felt “unfair” that every saint would look instantly perfect in heaven, but she also didn’t want heaven to look like “every mall in the U.S. where half the people are so big they have a hard time moving around.”

Jenny, a substantially overweight church member who says she carries around enough extra pounds “to form another small human,” said she believed people in heaven will look almost exactly like they do here — and that “weight diversity” makes life interesting. She cited instances from the Bible where people appeared in their post-death forms and were still recognizable: the prophet Samuel, Moses, Elijah and, of course, Jesus himself.

“Some people are built fat and happy, and that makes the world fun,” said the longtime church organist. “I don’t want a heaven where everyone looks like a cover model.”

She said she looks forward to “zooming around heaven in a big, impressive body.”

Other women expressed concern about physical attributes such as tattoos and breast implants. There was a rough consensus that foreign substances like ink and silicone probably would not make the translation, but the verdict was out on plastic surgery and obesity.

Jameson found little comfort in the discussion and is starting a “salad and cucumbers” diet upon returning home. She prays God will give her enough time to hit her weight goal before exiting this life.

“Everything right now is about making sure I reach my preferred dress size in case I die suddenly,” she says. “I’m driving a lot more carefully now.” •


TOPICS: General Discusssion; Humor
KEYWORDS: humor; parody
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To: trebb

“Catholics seem to believe that, if a person did not accept Christ as the Savior, they get a second chance to be purged of their sins, but I’m not aware of any Biblical references other than some folks interpretations to indicate a second chance”

Purgatory is not a second chance. If you make it to purgatory you are on your way to heaven. You have already known Jesus as your Savior. On the other hand, if you die in mortal sin you’re going to hell.

Purgatory is a place of final cleansing of temporal punishment for sins which have already been repented of and forgiven.

Example (a pretty lame one that has been around for a while but might help)

You’re a kid playing baseball in the street. You accidentally break a neighbor’s window. You apologize. The neighbor forgives you. You are still obligated to pay for the broken window.

That’s purgatory.


101 posted on 11/28/2012 9:57:04 AM PST by Not gonna take it anymore (If Obama were twice as smart as he is, he would be a wit)
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To: Dunstan McShane

Dunstan, who is the author of the article? That may help everyone out who took this a little too serious.


102 posted on 11/28/2012 9:59:29 AM PST by BipolarBob (Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.)
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To: Gamecock

I had never heard of Lark News before. What a funny site! LOL


103 posted on 11/28/2012 10:04:44 AM PST by Not gonna take it anymore (If Obama were twice as smart as he is, he would be a wit)
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To: Not gonna take it anymore
Purgatory is a place of final cleansing of temporal punishment for sins which have already been repented of and forgiven. Example (a pretty lame one that has been around for a while but might help) You’re a kid playing baseball in the street. You accidentally break a neighbor’s window. You apologize. The neighbor forgives you. You are still obligated to pay for the broken window. That’s purgatory.

I guess my question is, why did Jesus pay the price for our sins with His blood? Why did the prophet Jeremiah talk about the New Covenant by saying that God would forgive our wickedness and recognize our sins no more? Your explanation almost sounds like Purgatory is a reincarnation where you get to atone for the sins that Jesus died for - what makes you think that souls in Purgatory would be any more likely to atone/pay for any "outstanding" sins that somehow didn't get paid for with the Blood of the Savior?

That's one of the main reasons I decided to get out of religion and stick with Biblical Truth vs. dealing with all these hokey "between the lines" deals that the mortal men who made up the religion decided should be looked at as truths. There's over 30,000 sects of Christianity and they all claim the same Savior, but every one has different reads on parts of the Bible.

104 posted on 11/28/2012 10:05:39 AM PST by trebb (Allies no longer trust us. Enemies no longer fear us.)
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To: Gamecock

Ecclesiastes 1

1
The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.

2
Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.

3
What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun?

4
One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever.

5
The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose.

6
The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits.

7
All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again.

8
All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.

9
The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.

10
Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us.

11
There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.


According to the preacher it is just a recycle.


105 posted on 11/28/2012 10:15:32 AM PST by ravenwolf
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To: BipolarBob

Mark 12:25 For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.


I have always wondered about this scripture, it makes me think that after we rise we will not have a natural body like we now have,but maybe one that can walk through doors with out opening them, which would make this original thread look kind of childish.


106 posted on 11/28/2012 10:40:20 AM PST by ravenwolf
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To: presently no screen name

Our fellow Christians are not “dogs” and “pigs”, but rather our brothers and sisters in Christ. Since you quote the sermon on the mount:

7 Judge not, that ye be not judged.

2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

I pray for both of us.


107 posted on 11/28/2012 10:41:00 AM PST by Owl558 ("Those who remember George Satayana are doomed to repeat him")
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To: ravenwolf

You are probably correct about our bodies being different. There will be no more pain, aging or encumbrances we suffer from in our unnaturally sinful state. Regardless of how some interpret scripture here, angels do not propagate. Neither will we. Our wants will be of a spiritual nature and much less of a carnal one. In fact our most urgent desire will be to commune with God and that will be be met abundantly.


108 posted on 11/28/2012 11:18:32 AM PST by BipolarBob (Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.)
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To: BipolarBob

You are probably correct about our bodies being different. There will be no more pain, aging or encumbrances we suffer from in our unnaturally sinful state. Regardless of how some interpret scripture here, angels do not propagate. Neither will we. Our wants will be of a spiritual nature and much less of a carnal one. In fact our most urgent desire will be to commune with God and that will be be met abundantly.


Thanks.


109 posted on 11/28/2012 12:02:40 PM PST by ravenwolf
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To: Owl558

Apparently you are still on your high horse of pride and refuse to admit that your erred big time. Drop your pride because your prayers are useless with it. Hear and Obey!


110 posted on 11/28/2012 12:47:30 PM PST by presently no screen name
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To: treetopsandroofs
“Restored” — as in virgo intacta, and will men need to be circumcised, or AGAIN?!

Does the prepuce get resurrected? Glorified?

111 posted on 11/30/2012 5:46:45 PM PST by Lee N. Field ("And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise" Gal 3:29)
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