How to be a Jack Mormon

The Cultural Hall Podcast ^ | June 9, 2012 | Carli

[greyfoxx39]

A Jack Mormon is someone who is Mormon, but ”trouble.”

They are somewhere in between baptism and excommunication. If they even show up to church, they’re merely in the door, not on the stand, but also not escorted out. Foyer sitters.

(That’s how I’ve heard the term used anyway.)

In order to be a successful Jack Mormon, you need to incorporate multiple items from the following list into your life:

• Swear.
• Church apparel, for men: Wear jeans and any shirt color other than white to church. No tie. Tennis shoes.
• Church apparel, for women: Wear a sleeveless top and a mini skirt. Never wear panty hose. Wear flip flops in the summer and hooker heels in the winter.
• Church apparel, for all: Wear sunglasses.
• Get a tattoo in a well-seen location.
• Both men and women should have multiple piercings.
• Men: Grow your hair long, past your earlobes.
• Dye your hair an unnatural color, such as blue, purple, pink or green.
• Bring iced tea, caffeinated soda or rum cake to the potluck.
• Quote R-rated movies, in church if you get the chance.
• Let your phone ring and ring and ring in Sacrament meeting. Answer it from the pew.
• Bring a cup of coffee to Seminary or early church meetings.
• Pop open a can of Pringles on Fast Sunday.
• Eat McDonalds in the parking lot before church. Throw the trash away in the can outside of the chapel.
• Attend church high or hung over.
• Let your kids play video games at church.
• Host a poker night, preferably on the Sabbath.
• Clap after the intermediary musical number.
• Cross-dress for the Halloween Trunk-or-Treat.
• Never address other members as brother or sister.

Are Jack Mormons a misunderstood part of Mormon culture? Or are Jack Mormons simply misinformed about what’s appropriate in Mormon culture?

[Rio]

What’s wrong with Pringles?

[Conservative Vermont Vet]

Really, Jesus would NOT find a welcome in a mormon chapel, and He would certainly be denied entrance to a mormon temple.

AND, your point is????

A little "shot" at Romney and Mormons mayhaps?

You needn't bother as the LEFTIST, biased, corrupt, Lame Stream Media is going all out to try and discredit and dishonor the Mormon Religion.

I'm betting that there are several Catholics (including a cousin who is a priest) who would consider me a "JACK-Catholic" as I do not always go to Church every Sunday; have not been to confession or received Communion is some time; regularly take the name of the Lord in vain; as well as commit many other sins.

I'm also willing to bet there are "JACK-Baptist," "JACK-Amish," "JACK-Hindus," as well as "JACK-Muslims."

In fact, I imagine there are very few, devout religious people of every denomination who follow the spirit and letter of whatever the teachings are.

All I know is that Jesus died on the Cross for our sins and he knows we are ALL weak and SINNERS, but He never gives up on us and gives us all opportunities to try and do better.

As far as Jesus being DENIED entry into a Mormon Temple, that presupposes (AGAIN a "shot" and "slight") that you and others consider Mormons as NOT being Christians and ANTI-CHRIST.

Regardless, Mormons as are ALL peoples are GOD's children and who knows whether He will welcome and accept them into His Kingdom when they pass.

Do you?????

[Fightin Whitey]

>>>Obama would have to be considered a Jack Muslim<<<

Had him figgered for a Gay Muslim.

[unkus]

I still maintain nobody can be both a “good Mormon” and a liberal Democrat at the same time. There are just too many glaring gaps in doctrine to provide much overlap.

---

Harry Reid comes to mind.

[P-Marlowe]

Had him figgered for a Gay Muslim.

Well a Gay Mormon would probably be numbered among the Jack Mormons.

That is, unless the question of sodomy with men was not included in the Temple Recommend interview.

I believe that Salt Lake City is one of the most gay friendly cities in America. Is it because they don't ask about it in the Temple recommend interviews? They sure want to know if you've had a Coke or a Dr. Pepper recently.

[Conservative Vermont Vet]

Yep, those Muslims and Mormons are one in the same.

You'd be surprised.

There was an event on 9/11 in 1857 which might interest you. If you are interested.

Gee, and you ONLY had to DIG BACK some 155 YEARS to come up with something "COMPARABLE?

Why not throw in the "CRUSADERS" for good measure?

Hey, oh Romney/Mormon-Hater, I ONLY have to DIG BACK....like TODAY....to show how eeeeevil, barbaric, and murderous, the "Believers" in the "Religion of Pieces" are:

"Baghdad bombs target Shi'ite pilgrims, 26 killed," by Kareem Raheem for Reuters, June 16:

I can probably come up with, oh, 40 or 50 other newsworthy examples in just the past 30 days if you like?

Nice try though; have another glass of Kool Aid!

[ansel12]

Bishop and Stake President Romney tells us that church leaders can be pro-abortion.

[greyfoxx39]

As far as Jesus being DENIED entry into a Mormon Temple, that presupposes (AGAIN a "shot" and "slight") that you and others consider Mormons as NOT being Christians and ANTI-CHRIST.

Jesus could never pass the "temple worthiness" test. He would have to answer to His bishop the following questions satisfactorily:

Temple Recommend questions.

1 Do you have faith in and a testimony of God the Eternal Father, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost?

2 Do you have a testimony of the Atonement of Christ and of His role as Savior and Redeemer?

3 Do you have a testimony of the restoration of the gospel in these the latter days?

4 Do you sustain the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as the Prophet, Seer, and Revelator and as the only person on the earth who possesses and is authorized to exercise all priesthood keys? Do you sustain members of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles as prophets, seers, and revelators? Do you sustain the other General Authorities and local authorities of the Church?

5 Do you live the law of chastity?

6 Is there anything in your conduct relating to members of your family that is not in harmony with the teachings of the Church?

7 Do you support, affiliate with, or agree with any group or individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

8 Do you strive to keep the covenants you have made, to attend your sacrament and other meetings, and to keep your life in harmony with the laws and commandments of the gospel?

9 Are you honest in your dealings with your fellowmen?

10 Are you a full-tithe payer?

11 Do your keep the Word of Wisdom?

12 Do you have financial or other obligations to a former spouse or children? If yes, are you current in meeting those obligations?

13 If you have previously received your temple endowment:

Do you keep the covenants that you made in the temple?
Do you wear the garment both night and day as instructed in the endowment and in accordance with the covenant you made in the temple?

14 Have there been any sins or misdeeds in your life that should have been resolved with priesthood authorities but have not been?

15 Do you consider yourself worthy to enter the Lord's house and participate in temple ordinances?

Additionally, Jesus would have to "pass by Joseph Smith" in order to enter Heaven...

“I tell you, Joseph holds the keys, and none of us can get into the celestial kingdom without passing by him. We have not got rid of him, but he stands there as the sentinel, holding the keys of the kingdom of God
Orson Hyde, Journal of Discourses, Vol. 6, p.154-155

Do you believe Jesus could "pass by Joseph Smith"?

Mormonism is not Christian.

[ansel12]

Harry Reid is one of the most devout, and faithful of all Mormons.

Reid is a Temple Mormon, one of the approximately 15% of Mormons who are spiritual enough and devoted enough to enter the Holy Temples and participate in the inner circles secret activities.

[svcw]

Why?

[svcw]

Yep, San Francisco and SLC top the list.
Two of my lds cousins are homosexual.
The woman was asked to leave in the middle of their meeting. The other along with his partner have TRs.

[svcw]

when they pass

Pass what?

That is something Joseph Smith said - he will decide who gets IE pass into the highest level of celestial being.

Are you lds?

[svcw]

Since this thread is the religion forum about mormonism, if you want to talk about islam start a new thread.

[wintertime]

How can the following be helpful to anyone ( regardless of religion) in a career or getting along in the community/ society, being a role model for children, or being a leader worth emulating in the community? Maybe they might get along in spite of the following be certainly not because of it.

Church apparel, for women: Wear a sleeveless top and a mini skirt. Never wear panty hose. Wear flip flops in the summer and hooker heels in the winter.
Church apparel, for all: Wear sunglasses.
Get a tattoo in a well-seen location.
Both men and women should have multiple piercings.
Men: Grow your hair long, past your earlobes.
Dye your hair an unnatural color, such as blue, purple, pink or green.
Pop open a can of Pringles on Fast Sunday (There are Christians who do fast).
Eat McDonalds in the parking lot before church. Throw the trash away in the can outside of the chapel.
Attend church high or hung over.
Let your kids play video games at church.

[wintertime]

I missed these two.

Quote R-rated movies, in church if you get the chance.
Let your phone ring and ring and ring in Sacrament meeting. Answer it from the pew.

[wintertime]

Gee! I didn't know that!

Anyway...Rubio is not a natural born citizen. If Romney picks him I will be soooooo disgusted with him and the Republicans it will be very hard for me to go to the polls. Personally, I think Romney is wise enough to know that the birthers have been **very** distressed with how Obama’s eligibility has been handled. For him to pick Rubio would be a thumb in the eye to every birther in America. Do you seriously think he would do that?

I think Romney is smart enough not to do that.

[svcw]

I don’t have a problem with any of it.
Kids should be in kids church, where they can be taught and serve others. They should not be forced to sit in adult services, they just aren’t capable of sitting still, so if they are quite its a start.
I do not care how people dress when they come, it is not a fashion show. The unSaved and Saved come to church, I welcome them.
People who are regulars should come to serve not be served, and looking at someone to determine whether they are worthy to be there is ridiculous.
If a person pledges to fast for what ever reason and they eat, that is between them and God. It has nothing to do with me.
I do not know what “hooker” heals are, flip flops, so? I like like sandals myself.
I am not sure why throwing garbage thrown away is a big deal, rather have that happen than in the parking lot.
Now, sun glasses - that is my personal issue, I can’t stand talking to anyone that wear sunglasses but it doesn’t bother some people.
So there you have it.

[greyfoxx39]

For him to pick Rubio would be a thumb in the eye to every birther in America. Do you seriously think he would do that?

I think Mitt would pick anyone that he thought would be a politically expedient choice. He will shrug off the "birther" voters because his father had problems with his Mexican birth when he ran for POTUS even though his grandparents were US citizens.

[svcw]

The phone OFF is common curiosity. My pastor has stopped preaching and said “hey, we’ll wait till you are done (name’s name). Normally, it happens once and once only.
The movie thing, I don’t get. There are many good one liners in R rated movies. However, I can conceded some discretion should be used when quoting.
Back to the phone, I take notes on my note pad on my phone and then email it to my lap top to save for later, I am very careful especially is its in a dark room to sit in back, AND turn the sound off so people can’t hear the typing.
Where I go, I would guess half the people take notes on their IPads and Iphones. My daughter has a great program on her IPad, half the page is scripture and the other notes, so she can take notes right at the scripture the preacher is talking about. Somehow the notes are blending to fit between the versus referenced. (Totally has nothing to do with this, I just think its cool).

[unkus]

You’re wasting your breath.