Top Ten Changes a Catholic Majority would Make to the Supreme Court [Humor]

BenedictBlog ^ | 10/31/05 | Benedict

[Unam Sanctam]

As David Bernstein points out today in this post on The Volokh Conspiracy, the confirmation of Judge Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court will result in a Catholic majority on that bench. It seems timely, therefore, to speculate on the potential changes in store for that august institution:

10) Meat-less Fridays all year round in the Supreme Court cafeteria;

9) Oral arguments in Latin;

8) The bones of Chief Justice Marshall will be disinterred and placed in a glass coffin in the center of the Supreme Court bench;

7) Collections between each session of oral argument;

6) Supreme Court windows replaced with stained glass;

5) On close votes, the Justices will consult a statue of St. Thomas More. If the statue weeps, they affirm; if no tears, then they reverse.

4) Incense at the start of each session;

3) Supreme Court opinions will be deemed infallible and unreviewable by any earthly authority [Ed. - Sorry - that does not appear to be a change at all]

2) Catechism of the Catholic Church will now be "persuasive authority";

And, the number one change which a Catholic majority would make to the Supreme Court . . .

1) Wednesday night bingo!

[ninenot]

Observers' benches will have kneelers attached.

Catholic Knights will replace Federal marshals for enforcement of order within the chamber.

Individual chambers will now be called "sacristies."

Female clerks will be replaced with men. (Altar BOYS)

Robes will be replaced with cassocks.

[Romish_Papist]

Bites for me as I cannot stand seafood.

[ThomasMore]

The only "Catholic" problem would be is with false Catholics like Kerry and Kennedy.

You mean the anit-Christs?

[SaltyJoe]

"An absolutely new idea is one of the rarest things known to man."

". . . the state of things and the dispositions of men were then such, that a man could not well tell whom he might trust or whom he might fear."

"If I speak to thee in friendship's name, thou think'st I speak too coldly, if I mention love's devoted flame, thou say'st I speak too boldly"



Sir Thomas More's Farewell to His Daughter



"I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself."

"Education is not the piling on of learning, information, data, facts, skills, or abilities - that's training or instruction - but is rather making visible what is hidden as a seed"

"Marriage is an Athenic weaving together of families, of two souls with their individual fates and destinies, of time and eternity - everyday life married to the timeless mysteries of the soul."

"Disguise our bondage as we will, 'Tis woman, woman, rules us still"



"One of the greatest problems of our time is that many are schooled but few are educated"

"Humility, that low, sweet root, From which all heavenly virtues shoot"

"To be educated, a person doesn't have to know much or be informed, but he or she does have to have been exposed vulnerably to the transformative events of an engaged human life"

[ELS]

Tridentine Taste-Altering Gum!

LOL! And a teenage Catholic with a picture of Pius XII on his blog. Hope springs eternal.

[jjmcgo]

Substitute for #4: Suscipiat Dominus sacrificium de manibus tuis, ad laudem et gloriam nominis sui, ad utilitatem quoque nostram, totiusque ecclesiae suae sanctae.

May the Lord accept the sacrifice at your hands for the praise and glory of his name, for our good, and the good of all his Church.

Scalia knows it by heart.

[NYer]

Just beautiful! Thanks for the post and comments.

[sitetest]

Nix on the Wednesday night bingo. We have our Knights of Columbus bowling league on Wednesday nights.

;-)

[kingu]

*Doctrine doesn't change. Start your own Supreme Court :)

I guess you could say that you nailed my keyboard with that one. ;)

[Clemenza]

Ping!

[HowlinglyMind-BendingAbsurdity]

Can we finish the tunnel connecting the Vatican and the White House that JFK started? [IRONY, JOKE, SPORTIVE JEST, WHIMSICAL FLIPPANCY]

[GAB-1955]

"*Doctrine doesn't change. Start your own Supreme Court :)

I guess you could say that you nailed my keyboard with that one. ;)"

Ninety-five times.

[SaltyJoe]

Might as well ping this link to you because you have such a cool FR name!

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/1513106/posts?page=44#44

[bornacatholic]

Yes. God is good. Even our Penance is easy :)

[gobucks]

I really appreciate the thoughtful ping...

I NEED a humor break. Thanks!

[Fruit of the Spirit]

"3) Supreme Court opinions will be deemed infallible and unreviewable by any earthly authority "

...except the ACLU.

[Fruit of the Spirit]

"Will Protestants still have 'standing' inside, or will we have to stand in the outer courtyard, like we did as the unwashed Gentiles in Jewish Tabernacle days?"

I didn't know there were any Protestants in those days.

[HKMk23]

I didn't know there were any Protestants in those days.

LOL! Weren't ALL christians "protestants" in those days?

Indeed, we were "protestants" of an old covenant religiosity that had rejected it's Messiah out of preferrence for the Pharisaic fixation with jots and tittles; form over substance. They had become so absorbed for so long in the study and extrapolation of the minutiae of the Law of Moses that, when our Lord and Christ appeard, proclaiming and refocusing the people's attention upon the Kingdom of God, they hated him and held in derision all who followed after him. As if they had become so absorbed in the study and analysis of the bark of one particular tree, that they could no longer speak authoritatively to anyone about the forest. The greater reality was lost upon them, eclipsed as it was by their hyperfocus on the minutiae. In fact, so great was the disparity between the greater reality and the daily fare of the Pharisees, that those who apprehended the Kingdom could find almost no linguistic common ground upon which to build a bridge from the understanding of The Kingdom to the understanding of the legalists, and so it has remained to this day. The only ground upon which such a bridge could be erected is that small, square patch upon which was set the cross of Christ, and that cross remains the sole (soul?) bridge by which all men must pass from death unto eternal life.

[Fruit of the Spirit]

"LOL! Weren't ALL christians "protestants" in those days?"

No. The Gentiles were the "protestants" you refer to. Christians were those that had converted to the "Way".

Remember the woman at the well? "Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from the master's table."

[HKMk23]

No. The Gentiles were the "protestants" you refer to. Christians were those that had converted to the "Way".

Okay, wait. Before Christ, there were only two classes of people with respect to God: those of Israel (the Jews) and those NOT of Israel (gentiles). Gentiles in that time were not actively "protestant" against the Mosaic Covenant; they never entered into it at all; they are like the unsaved all around us in the present day. It seems to me that, in the early days of Christianity, only a Jew who had also become a follower of "The Way" would be properly analogous to a "protestant", because only such a person would have been part of the old covenant and also embraced the new; a "protestant" of the rejection of Jesus as Messiah by overly-worldly, spiritually blind leadership of the old covenant and those who followed them.