Legal Tragedy for Unemployed Divorced Men & Fathers

[ImFightingMad]

I am writing this to make this Legal Tragedy better known and also in hope that someone could help the thousands of us in this tragic situation.

Like many Americans at this time, I have been laid off. This in itself is bad enough for most Americans, but those of us that have been divorced face a Legal Tragedy that is against The Constitution and all moral concepts. Men are almost exclusively affected by what I am about to tell you. This shows the discrimination of the courts and the laws in this country.

Since I have been laid off, I am only “earning” unemployment insurance, which is only 16.6% of my previous gross income. I therefore cannot pay the alimony and child support that the courts ordered in my divorce in Florida. I do not even have enough money for my own expenses. The courts in Florida are looking at finding me in contempt of court because of non-payment. They would therefore put me in jail along with countless others for the same reason. This makes no legal or moral sense in many ways:

1. If I was still married and got laid off, would the courts care, of course not! The family would have to do what they could to survive. But, since I have been divorced, and there is no relationship anymore, I’m supposed to support them over supporting myself, otherwise go to jail. How does this make any logical, moral or legal sense? Why is it that since I am divorced I have a greater financial responsibility than I ever did when I was married? Why should all of my rights be taken away because I am unemployed now, and yet my ex-wife is suppose to maintain the same or better lifestyle as when I was employed? This again, would not be the case if I were still married. This shows that divorce laws take precedence over basic human rights and are stronger laws than marriage itself, which is a bond with God.

2. If I’m in jail, how am I supposed to find a job? After being in jail, it would be very difficult, if not impossible, to ever find a good job again!

3. This type of incarceration was abolished with the 13th Amendment. Which prohibits Involuntary Servitude. Also 8 USCA-56 prohibits Peonage.

Why should my life and other’s be completely destroyed just because we were ever married and now unemployed?

Isn’t the fact that I, and many others have lost our jobs enough of a tragedy in itself? How does completely destroying the rest of our lives solve anything? In this situation, what could any of us ever do to help ourselves?

I was extremely involved in the 2000 Presidential election, supporting George Bush. I lived and worked in Austin, Texas, but I was still a registered voter in Florida. The government and country that I so dearly loved and put so much energy into, has now let me down.

Please Help!

[Hildy]

What was the situation of your divorce...did you leave or did she leave the marriage?

[shaggy eel]

No the losers are the ones that get saddled with child support when 'sweet potato' gets bored....

,,, there's loss on many levels in this game. At your level, it's hit and run and you're cool with that because you can see yourself continually as a winner - something you most likely need, as much as sex to prove yourself to yourself. Someone who has committed to making a relationship work and been left high and dry is a better man than you.

[riri]

Yeah, but I see guys marrying Sally when she is already fat and mean.All the time. Explain that one to me.

[moondancer]

yes he is fitz, everytime he files a motion my attny shows it..some have been flat out ridiculous. i would simply let go, but he often files motions and then attempts to modify other parts of the parenting plan, which forces me to spend the money to repsond. whats wrong with judges when you can sign under "pentality of purjery" but beable to keep lying? seems silly lol

[FITZ]

Your ex sounds so bad it seems it'd be better to negociate a zero visitation - zero child support kind of deal just to sever all ties with him ---and for your child. That ex is going to be nothing but trouble as long as you have to deal with him in any way.

[A. Pole]

[4Liberty:]
"You should have kept your pants on."

Hang on for a tick. These are married -- and divorced -- men. Are you saying men should avoid marriage and the creation of children inside the institution of marriage at all costs?

Whaddya, a Feminist?

More likely he is a free trader. He things that making children should be outsourced to the countries where it is cheaper. Then the next generation of Americans can be replaced by immigrants.

[StatesEnemy]

Someone who has committed to making a relationship work and been left high and dry is a better man than you

No... given the current social/judicial climate, he's a sucker.

[Pukin Dog]

You deserve a medal for posting that article. Who is Fred, and where can I get more of such wisdom?

[Mike4Freedom]

Are you saying men should avoid marriage and the creation of children inside the institution of marriage at all costs?

A marriage strike by men until these laws are changed would be quite appropriate.

[StatesEnemy]

Yeah, but I see guys marrying Sally when she is already fat and mean.All the time. Explain that one to me.

Desperation.

[FITZ]

Who is Fred, and where can I get more of such wisdom?

I think Fred has had a number of unsuccessful marriages and relationships --- you might be better off getting your wisdom from someone else.

[StatesEnemy]

Who is Fred??? You don't know Fred????

[Lazamataz]

fortunatly im no longer married, but we have been divorced for 3 years now. our docket with the courts is six pages long...ALOT of litigation, petty stuff. i signed a pro se and left his retirement, stocks bonds ect for him. left him the house, cars, ect. still he has been vindictive, ran the house into repo, got an attorney behind my back, forged my name to taxes, and to another prose document and neglected to tell me about the hearing..insanity, and litigates atleast 4x a year to this day..this is the first motion he has filed that isnt "petty".

Sucks.

My ex and I have a different take on things. She leaves me alone legally, and I leave her alone legally. In fact, I even asked her what the lowest impact method of divorce might be, even tho I didn't want the divorce at the time. I did what I could to make things as easy as I could for her.

I'm of mixed mind on her. Sometimes I think I could go back with her, sometimes I don't. There were a lot of positives to the relationship, but there were some serious negatives on both my side and hers. I suppose if I had been listening more clearly, I could have taken her hints and maybe we'd be in marital counseling today.

Perhaps there's too much trust lost on both sides for a reclaimation. I don't know. The option doesn't exist for me to even find out, so it's a moot point.

[Terry Mross]

Exwives!. For some reason they think their lives are supposed to get better and better and the ex husband is supposed to pay for it. Let me explain a little simple economics. Two kids living with a parent is cheaper than one guy living alone. Think about it. A man lives alone and pays rent. A woman lives with her two kids so her rent cost is divided by three. The courts figure the husband must pay half the rent.

Here's another little tidbit. My daughter came to live with me. So, I have one kid with me and "she" has one kid with her. You'd think that would mean no support, right? Wrong! I still had to pay for my son. Does that make sense? I asked my lawyer, "Why do I have to pay? Why doesn't she have to pay me?" He said, "The decree says you pay so much per child. Therefore as long as a child lives with her you owe her the money. The kids would come visit with coats too small and shoes with holes in them.

I, too, considered suicide. Seriously. Almost pulled it off but had a girlfriend who "saw" what was happening. Know what I was thinking? I was thinking "Let those bastards come and get the money after I'm dead!" I was having to pay "arrears" that the Texas State AG said I didn't owe. But she had filed a "civil" suit after the kids were grown. I ended up paying $8,500 more than I owed because the judge ordered us "to work it out". I found out Texas law says they can come after arrears until the kid is 25. ON top of all this she had poisoned the kids' minds against me. And that is pure evil. It's something that can't be undone.

But guess what happened. Bottom line is I eventually paid the damn money and got on with my life. I recently saw her at my son's wedding because my son told his mother I was going to be there and if she didn't like it, tough sh&t. What I saw was a misirable old ugly broad. And I'm a happy man with a wonderful wife! Time will heal it, my man.

[moondancer]

SIGH, longgg story with the whole parental evaluation, counselor ect. he doesnt want to see his child, but hes not content to simply say so. he all but says it in emails to me and makes it clear he wants nothing to do with matters such as health insurance,dental, ect. BUT when he litigates its all my fault, hell say in one sentence to remove some of his visitation then in the next states im denying him visitation (ive actually requested more involement from him). its so crazy i dont know which end is up anymore. i think hed gladly take an offer like that, but only if he came up with it and could blame me. courts wont listen to the counselors iether that say he is abusive and damaging to his child. what a mess!! ivelearned be careful who you marry, ppl should be triple careful when they have children.

[PatrioticAmerican]

"You should have kept your pants on."

So should the woman who had the kids. If she couldn't afford to feed, house, and cloth them, she should've kept her legs closed. Why do you assume that the man alone is totally responsible for her sex acts?

[StatesEnemy]

I, too, considered suicide.

Why not murder-suicide?

[Pukin Dog]

Thank you, I will be a subscriber. The man speaks the truth. I dont care what he had to go through to learn it; I think he hit the bullseye on that one.

[cake_crumb]

"Can't you simply go to a judge and show him your unemployement stub and ask him how you're supposed to live AND support kids? Should you starve? Should you live on the street to make sure they get money from you? Seriously, to expect child support payments while unemployed is absurd."

The judge can say "it's neither here nor there" and attach your unemployment check. Depending on the judge, he can starve or become homeless. The child support system only goes after honest men.

I experiance the "neither here nor there" thing when my stpefather was laid off and his wife, who was the VP of Cebus Porcelain took him to court when he called and asked her if she could waive child support payments for the winter while he was laid off. It made no difference to the judge that his ex-wife made $80,000 a year, while my step father was unemployed with three step children to support.

Later on, my own ex husband never paid a dime of child support, but he's always been dishonest enough to beat the system.

So I know from both ends: the man's and anyone willing to take a chance on him, and as a women who's kids experienced a REAL deadbeat dad.

[FITZ]

In fact, I even asked her what the lowest impact method of divorce might be, even tho I didn't want the divorce at the time. I did what I could to make things as easy as I could for her.

That's the intelligent way --- and if the soon-to-be ex is half way sane they'll agree to work it out. A couple can figure out the woman is likely to get custody, the house and whatever is in it ---then be adults and work out the rest themselves or otherwise all they do is make some lawyers rich. I know people who spent thousands on attornies, fought over everything but both ended up with almost nothing ---the lawyers got it all.