Legal Tragedy for Unemployed Divorced Men & Fathers

[ImFightingMad]

I am writing this to make this Legal Tragedy better known and also in hope that someone could help the thousands of us in this tragic situation.

Like many Americans at this time, I have been laid off. This in itself is bad enough for most Americans, but those of us that have been divorced face a Legal Tragedy that is against The Constitution and all moral concepts. Men are almost exclusively affected by what I am about to tell you. This shows the discrimination of the courts and the laws in this country.

Since I have been laid off, I am only “earning” unemployment insurance, which is only 16.6% of my previous gross income. I therefore cannot pay the alimony and child support that the courts ordered in my divorce in Florida. I do not even have enough money for my own expenses. The courts in Florida are looking at finding me in contempt of court because of non-payment. They would therefore put me in jail along with countless others for the same reason. This makes no legal or moral sense in many ways:

1. If I was still married and got laid off, would the courts care, of course not! The family would have to do what they could to survive. But, since I have been divorced, and there is no relationship anymore, I’m supposed to support them over supporting myself, otherwise go to jail. How does this make any logical, moral or legal sense? Why is it that since I am divorced I have a greater financial responsibility than I ever did when I was married? Why should all of my rights be taken away because I am unemployed now, and yet my ex-wife is suppose to maintain the same or better lifestyle as when I was employed? This again, would not be the case if I were still married. This shows that divorce laws take precedence over basic human rights and are stronger laws than marriage itself, which is a bond with God.

2. If I’m in jail, how am I supposed to find a job? After being in jail, it would be very difficult, if not impossible, to ever find a good job again!

3. This type of incarceration was abolished with the 13th Amendment. Which prohibits Involuntary Servitude. Also 8 USCA-56 prohibits Peonage.

Why should my life and other’s be completely destroyed just because we were ever married and now unemployed?

Isn’t the fact that I, and many others have lost our jobs enough of a tragedy in itself? How does completely destroying the rest of our lives solve anything? In this situation, what could any of us ever do to help ourselves?

I was extremely involved in the 2000 Presidential election, supporting George Bush. I lived and worked in Austin, Texas, but I was still a registered voter in Florida. The government and country that I so dearly loved and put so much energy into, has now let me down.

Please Help!

[nmh]

Can't you simply go to a judge and show him your unemployement stub and ask him how you're supposed to live AND support kids? Should you starve? Should you live on the street to make sure they get money from you? Seriously, to expect child support payments while unemployed is absurd.

[4Liberty]

You should have kept your pants on.

[StatesEnemy]

You should have kept your pants on.

You must be a split tail...

[lady lawyer]

File a pro se petition to modify your alimony and child support while you are unemployed

[LWalk18]

When you became unemployed did you petition the court for a reduction in child support/alimony payments or did you just stop paying?

[only1percent]

The court should modify your support obligations, if you make a showing that (a) you've become involuntarily unemployed, (b) don't have ready cash or other assets to pay the previously ordered, and (c) you're actively searching for a job at a level of compensation comparable to your prior position. Needless to say, you have to keep on searching, and you have to take the first comparably-compensating position you can get, and then resume payments at the prior level, and probably will need to pay arrears, as well.

The court will look very skeptically at you if you volutnarily quit, or you take a lower paying job and ask to have your support modified downward. Divorced men are, fairly or not, expected to maximize their earning potential. If you're in a career field which is permanently damaged by economic circumstance change, you'll probably need to show how you plan to get into a new field.

Your ex-wife is not permitted to abridge or impair your vistation rights on account of your economic hardship. You might wish to see if the hardship support modification can include a specific caution to her on that point.

[Liberals are Evil Socialists!]

There is no doubt about what you say for men who made a commitment in marriage but find for whatever reason that the contract is breached. Problem is it is far worse for women without stringent laws to force fathers to work. In your case, the key is showing up. You gotta appear each time and throw yourself on the mercy of the court as you do here. The Judge will ream you if you don't appear. Just show up and plead it and ask for a reduction or stay until you can get on your feet. Not much else you can do. Just be glad you aren't an unemployed female saddled with several kids and no ex-husband to work to help.

[Treasa]

I hope you are able to find work soon. In the mean time I hope you document what you're doing to look for work. I don't think the law was intended for men who want to support thier families but to punish those who abandon thier duties. I hope you find a judge who recognises your plight. Please don't get too discouraged. Never give up and you will get through this, I know it...
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family...
Trease

[ImFightingMad]

Yes I did file for reduction of alimomy & child support. I also have been unable to pay the orginal amount since it is more than my unemployment! The Judge refuses to listen to that and instead is trying to find me in contempt for non-payment of the original total which is more than my unemployement! This has happened to thousands of men in this country.

[FITZ]

Just be glad you aren't an unemployed female saddled with several kids and no ex-husband to work to help.

Why? They end up on welfare --- no problem.

[bithey]

If your wife lost her job, she would still be responsible for her expenses without extra help from you. If you have to get three jobs at McDonalds, Home Depot, etc to meet your obligations, hop to it. You should only be expected to do what your ex is expected to do if she is in the same situation.

[FITZ]

How is your relationship with your ex? Is she the kind that would go after every dime even when times are hard for you? I never understand why couples --- even ex's can't work out some of this --- from what I've seen first hand, if the woman doesn't complain about no checks -- then the father doesn't get in trouble.

[Ronly Bonly Jones]

Your ex-wife is not permitted to abridge or impair your vistation rights on account of your economic hardship. >>>

And in other news, Fitz is surprised to discover that Santa has ceased to leave toys under his tree at Christmas.

[LWalk18]

I am sorry to hear that the judge is being unsympathetic- are you at least seeing your children? Remember that child support and visitation are not supposed to be related, you have every right to see your kids.

[ImFightingMad]

The job and salary I had will not be what I can get in the future. I will be lucky to get 75% of what I did before.

Again, the court has refused me any relief. That means I can never work again unless I get a job @ my previous income level which will probably never happen. That means I will have to be unenployed for the rest of my life. HOW STUPID!

By the way, I am refusing to step foot in to Floriduh. The judge wants me in court but he can kiss my ..... He has shown his prejudice and refusal to abide by The Constitution, Bill of Rights and The Amedments.

[ImFightingMad]

There is no relationship with my ex, I cannot even talk to her. She also destroyed my relationship with my kids. She also had an affair before the divorce but the courts didn't care.

[RGSpincich]

The Judge refuses to listen to that and instead is trying to find me in contempt for non-payment of the original total which is more than my unemployement! This has happened to thousands of men in this country.

In the cases I've been involved in, judges are quite understanding if given adequate proof of the situation. Contempt is saved for those unwilling or unable to present proof of financial hardship. They usually have a lousy history of payment prior to their new found "hardship". This has happened to thousands of men in this country because they have hard heads.

[4Liberty]

I have no idea what a split tail is.

But, this post is infuriating.

I find it enormously irritating that people have children, and don't immediately downsize their expenditures to prepare AHEAD for the inevitable major costs we KNOW accompany kids. Is it fair to have one's neighbor down the street, US, PAY for this? No.

Look, this is the 21st Century. We've got credit markets, we've got insurance markets, we've got close relatives & friends with whom we (hopefully) have maintained good relations which can be used 'in time of need' and, we have churches & charitable organizations.

Instead of "whining" about the courts, - USE THESE AVENUES, and clean up your own mess. Show some ingenuity. Suck it up.

It is highly immoral and dishonorable to complain about the Courts asking you to pay for an activity YOU caused & chose. Please be self-responsible. The rest of us have enough bills out here. If you can't afford to keep your kids, have a relative take them in for you, etc.

As Larry Elder says, IF YOU CAN'T FEED em, - TRY NOT TO BREED EM~! PLEASE!!! ANd - Try to show a little courage & honor. Pick a wife wisely; marry better, think about HOW MUCH another kid costs before you take the step into the Sack, unprotected, and -- think about how THE REST OF US MUST "PAY" (& PAY...) if you don't.

People nowadays just "drop 'em".... and leave the collateral damage for the rest of us. WE ARE NOT AMUSED!!!
grrr
Think of this whole episode as a "learning experience." Pick yourself up off the floor, quit balling about the Courts, lower your expectations about the size of your future retirement resources, do the right thing, and PAY FOR YOUR ACTIONS, and Don't lower OUR future retirement fund, because YOU don't want to pay for this situation... Thanks.

[ImFightingMad]

Some other data points that show the Judge's prejustice:

1) My 17 year old has been earning $1000/month since before the divorce. Florida law clearly states that a child's independant income has to be used in the support calcualtion. Therefore I should never have had to pay child support for him! I have also caught my son street racing and the police have that on record. My ex refuses to do anything about him street racing. I should not have to support illegal activity!

2) My oldest son is 26, handicapped and I adopted him @ the age of 5. He has all the rights of an adult and has a voter's registration. I am expected to pay full child support for him for life. Even though he could live out of the house, she refuses and therefore the judge has made me pay child support for an adult that has full rights as an adult!