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Please, No More Posting of the French Email Story!!!
Posted on 07/18/2003 1:01:05 PM PDT by Admin Moderator
Edited on 07/19/2003 6:53:59 AM PDT by Admin Moderator.
[history]
For the love of God, please, I beg you- no more postings of the 'French Government Bans The Term E-Mail' story. There are already several copies up, and we've pulled many more in the past day.
Have mercy on us. I beg thee.
The same goes for the Google WMD story. Uncle!!!
Only you can prevent duplicates- please search before posting
TOPICS: Breaking News; Free Republic
KEYWORDS: admineblast; adminlectureseries; alreadypostedhere; cheese; cheeseandwhine; cheeseeating; courriel; email; france; french; frenchemail; frogs; krusgnet; lebigmacroyale; moose; surrendermonkeys; whinealittle; whinealot; whiteflag; zot; zottedthreads
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To: 4mycountry; chance33_98; El Conservador; Constitution Day; Admin Moderator; Paul Atreides; ...
Someone will post the "French E-mail Story" again or we will we will taunt you a second time!
You two-toed whopper of other people's bottoms!
61
posted on
07/18/2003 1:23:09 PM PDT
by
jriemer
(We are a Republic not a Democracy)
To: Skooz
62
posted on
07/18/2003 1:23:33 PM PDT
by
Calpernia
(Runs with scissors.....)
To: Zavien Doombringer
Hmmmm. Something's still missing. Oh, I know:
63
posted on
07/18/2003 1:23:53 PM PDT
by
TheBigB
(In the immortal words of Freddy Mercury..."FLASH...Ahh-AHHHHH!...he's a miracle!")
To: Zavien Doombringer
64
posted on
07/18/2003 1:26:19 PM PDT
by
4mycountry
(Over-achiever extraordinare!)
To: TheBigB
Ping me later, I have to shower.
65
posted on
07/18/2003 1:26:30 PM PDT
by
Mr. Bird
To: Admin Moderator
What about some threads about males going blind and growing hair on their palms...
66
posted on
07/18/2003 1:27:38 PM PDT
by
Drango
(Just 5ยข a day will end pledge drives on FreeRepublic.)
To: TheBigB
Did you mean: french military defeats
No standard web pages containing all your search terms were found.
Your search - french military victories - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
- Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
- Try different keywords.
- Try more general keywords.
- Try fewer keywords.
Also, you can try
Google Answers for expert help with your search.
Parody transcripted ©2003 Albino Blacksheep
This Parody is not sponsored or endorsed by GoogleClick here to tell a friend about this page! ************************************************************
Defeats Yields:
************************************************************
The Complete Military History of France |
- Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
- Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.
- Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
- Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
- Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
- War of Revolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
- The Dutch War - Tied
- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
- War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
- American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
- French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
- The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
- The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
- World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
- World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
- War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu
- Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
- War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."
Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."
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www.albinoblacksheep.com MAIN PAGE - Video Files - Audio Files - Image Files - Flash Files - Games - Feedback - MessageBoard - Chat - Download |
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67
posted on
07/18/2003 1:28:14 PM PDT
by
Calpernia
(Runs with scissors.....)
To: Admin Moderator
How about a thread about how glad we all are that this fundraiser is nearly over?
68
posted on
07/18/2003 1:28:28 PM PDT
by
Cathryn Crawford
(Why don't you think I'm a neocon?)
To: Calpernia
You should change your tag to "taunts Mods endlessly" :)
69
posted on
07/18/2003 1:30:11 PM PDT
by
TheBigB
(In the immortal words of Freddy Mercury..."FLASH...Ahh-AHHHHH!...he's a miracle!")
To: Admin Moderator
A Møøse once bit my sister...
70
posted on
07/18/2003 1:30:33 PM PDT
by
jriemer
(We are a Republic not a Democracy)
No realli! She was Karving her initials øn the møøse with the sharpened end
of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law -an Oslo
dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo
Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...
71
posted on
07/18/2003 1:31:22 PM PDT
by
jriemer
(We are a Republic not a Democracy)
To: TheBigB
Does that mean I'm heading here?
72
posted on
07/18/2003 1:32:12 PM PDT
by
Calpernia
(Runs with scissors.....)
To: jriemer
You may be having too much fun on a thread WHEN.... ;)
73
posted on
07/18/2003 1:33:17 PM PDT
by
4mycountry
(Over-achiever extraordinare!)
To: Cathryn Crawford
Well, I haven't checked my pings yet. I'll check it out later honey dumpling;^0 Thanks.
To: 4mycountry
....WHEN the phrase "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"..." makes you laugh so hard that milk comes out your nose, and you aren't even drinking milk.
75
posted on
07/18/2003 1:36:28 PM PDT
by
TheBigB
(In the immortal words of Freddy Mercury..."FLASH...Ahh-AHHHHH!...he's a miracle!")
To: Admin Moderator
C'mon. Search for an article. Ya gotta be kiddin'...
76
posted on
07/18/2003 1:38:01 PM PDT
by
TomServo
("We've secretly replaced the Pacific Ocean with Folgers crystals ...")
To: All
What's this I hear about some New Zealander building a Hobbit Hole? Has anyone heard anything about this ?
McBump
To: Admin Moderator
The French have banned the term EMAIL? Why goodness gracious, I've never heard of such a thing. [ sarcasm button off ]
78
posted on
07/18/2003 1:40:46 PM PDT
by
afraidfortherepublic
(Yes, I've read this story a thousand times -- thanks for getting rid of it)
To: Admin Moderator
HEY!
I posted that WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION thread because no one, as usual, pinged me to the other threads on it before they self destructed!
I'll have you KNOW! PPPBBBBTTTT!!!
To: Admin Moderator
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