SUV Owners Shouldn't Read This

newspaper syndication ^ | March 22, 2003 | Donald "Lefty" Kaul

[newgeezer]

There are few things more misleadingly named than the Sports Utility Vehicle, which is neither sporty nor particularly utilitarian.

Oh, it's advertised as useful, I'll grant you that. And maybe it is, if you live in a remote mountain village where you occasionally have to drive over a rock-strewn field in bad weather to get where you're going. But most of the people who do things like that wouldn't be caught sober in one of the modern, fancy-schmansy SUVs, with the soft ride and the leather seats and cup-holders. (Real mountain people drive pickup trucks with a gun-rack in back of their heads.)

No, SUVs are bought, for the most part, by city folk, many of them suburban mothers who use them to cart kids around, with side trips to the supermarket. They claim that they buy them because they are:

1. Roomy (for the kids, you know)
2. Safe (don't want to be out there in a tin can)
3. Able to travel in inclement weather (because of the four-wheel drive so many of them have)

Which would be fine, except that none of those things is true. By the numbers:

1. Even the biggest SUVs (and there are some monsters) don't have any more passenger room than, say, a full-sized minivan, which costs thousands of dollars less and is easier to park.
2. SUVs have the distinction of being both more dangerous to themselves and more dangerous to other cars than other vehicles. Because of their high center of gravity, they have a distressing tendency to roll over and their fatality rates are higher than traditional vehicles (6 percent higher on the average; 8 percent in the bigger models). However, because of their huge size, in a collision with a normal-sized car, they are more apt to kill the occupants of the other vehicle. A Chevy Tahoe, for example, kills 122 people for every 1 million models on the road, while a Honda Accord kills only 21. This what's known as a lose/lose situation.
3. Inclement weather? Don't make me laugh. People with SUVs think inclement weather is when you can't play golf. For the occasional snowy day in most areas there are better ways to get around. SUVs are not the only four-wheel drive vehicles around anymore, after all. There are cars with all- and four-wheel drive that are superior in every way to your average SUV.

Every way except one. You can't bully other vehicles with a car the way you can with an SUV. And that's what the extraordinary popularity of the SUV is about---bullying.

Keith Bradsher, a New York Times reporter who been waging a crusade against SUVs for years now, has just published a book, High and Mighty, which documents the case against the vehicle. In it he quotes market researchers who have found that the SUV craze is "about not letting anything get in your way and at the extreme, about intimidating others to get out of your way."

SUV buyers, the researchers say, tend to be "insecure and vain, often lack confidence in their driving skills [and] are apt to be self-centered and self-absorbed, with little interest in neighbors and communities."

Does that sound familiar or what? Picture the typical SUV driver---the beady, close-set eyes of a serial killer set above a snarl that could curdle a latte. And that's just the women. The men are worse. Think of Hitler's Panzer divisions invading Poland.

On top of every else, these behemoths handle badly, get lousy gas mileage, are exempt from the safety standards that regular cars have to meet and don't have to pay the luxury tax that similarly priced cars have to pay. (It's called campaign contributions.)

Let's face it, they are an unmitigated disaster; assault rifles with power steering. If a terrorist country was trying to do to us what the SUV is doing, we'd be bombing it by now.

Yet the SUV has become the backbone of the American auto industry, and, as such, is with us forever or until the gasoline runs out, whichever comes first.

[RightWhale]

my wife's new Suburban LT

That's not an SUV, it is a light truck; not an sport vehicle, just a UV. Which is fine, no problem. A lot of people have a pickup truck with the same equipment except for the enclosed body, and they put a fancy camper shell on it, and there they are: poor man's SUV.

[Hodar]

A Chevy Tahoe, for example, kills 122 people for every 1 million models on the road, while a Honda Accord kills only 21. This what's known as a lose/lose situation.

Simple question.... say you are destined to be in an accident in which a fatality will be involved. Would you rather be in a SUV like the Tahoe, or in the Honda? I'll take the SUV 100% of the time. Notice how this 'statistic' has neither source, nor qualification of who died (SUV occupant or everyone else)? Now, let's ask ourselves other stastical questions. How many Tahoes on the road vs. Honda Accords?

[biblewonk]

The first amendment works both ways, bub. He's free to express his silly, ignorant, uninformed, idiotic opinion.

And so can you.

[RightWhale]

You don't know if you have a real SUV until you take it off the road. Real SUVs like the Toyota LandCruiser are just as happy driving on the road or up a shallow riverbed.

[Sergio]

Quote: "However, because of their huge size, in a collision with a normal-sized car, they are more apt to kill the occupants of the other vehicle. ... This what's known as a lose/lose situation."

Only if you are in the smaller vehicle. (insert evil laugh here)

We don't have a SUV in our household, but folks against them should really take up a hobby. And let me tell you about intimidation.

Here in SoCal we have a lot of little souped up cars. Civics, Integras, Eclipses, Celicas, you know, the ones with about an inch of ground clearance, more wings than a fighter jet, and that you can hear coming from about three blocks away.

These guys love screaming in on your left, jumping in front of you as you are waiting your turn on a freeway on or off ramp, and then slam on the brakes as soon as they are in front of you. They have even been known (personal experience) to do a quick jink into your lane to get you to hit the brakes. Their way of opening a whole in traffic.

I have noticed that these guys will do this to vehicles that are of about the same size or smaller than their own.

Seems like a lot of folks that buy SUVs are just tired of these guys. When you are in a bigger vehicle, you don't have to be as worried about these guys. You see, they know about physics too. They know that in an altercation, they would be on the loosing end. They go away, to be stupid someplace else. They leave you alone.

That in and of itself, is reason enough for an SUV's exsistance.

Think I'm gonna buy the Wife a Suburban ... or maybe one of them Hummer H2s.

Best regards

Sergio

[killjoy]

Avalanche! Hottest truck on the road and in my driveway. And I certainly don't need it; I just love it :)

Good. You can keep it.

I'll keep my BMW R1150GS :)

[cardinal4]

I just biked past an H2 this morning.

I disagree. If I had $52,000, Id buy the green and black one. You see, I use my SUV to drive the National Forest Fire trails on my way to camp and fish. And hopefully in the next couple of weeks, to pull my boat. I did not buy it for status, like most of the people mentioned in this article. The H2 is an awesome vehicle, just too damned expensive for me.

[billbears]

I guess you think Corvette owners are NOT "pousers"?

Really!! Talk about buying an overpriced POS. I don't like SUVs but I fully support those that buy them. If the SUVs go, then they come after people like me with the muscle cars

[rdb3]

I hear ya. The wife loves it.

[biblewonk]

I disagree. If I had $52,000, Id buy the green and black one. You see, I use my SUV to drive the National Forest Fire trails on my way to camp and fish. And hopefully in the next couple of weeks, to pull my boat. I did not buy it for status, like most of the people mentioned in this article. The H2 is an awesome vehicle, just too damned expensive for me.

They certainly have their applications. Being financially embarassed I bought a 12 passenger van to haul my wife and 8 kids around. I personally loathe SUV's and would prefer a cool pick-up for offroad applications. I like Harleys too and I think all motorcycles should be v-twins, though I could only afford a honda shadow ace.

[freedomlover]

Sorry F-150 Super Crew

But I do have an old Dodge D-100 too.

[King David]

I used to drive a Nissan Altima and a Cadillac Deville. This noise about SUV's has been simmering for years now, and is one of the reasons I decided to buy a Jeep Grand Cherokee and an Acura MDX. Partly because I wanted to tweak the liberals who whine about these outward signs of success, and partly because I REALLY DO WANT MY WIFE AND CHILDREN TO SURVIVE IN CASE OF AN ACCIDENT. Call me selfish.

[kissthis]

I own four vehicles and 90% of our miles are put on the SUV. Of the four, it is truly the one that is utilitarian. While not as "sporty" as my sports car, I've yet to figure out how to get the sports car to tow my 5000lb trailer, not to mention the SUV's abilty to do more than hide under it's dust cover when the snow hits the ground.

Hehe, as a Lotus owner, I just thought you should know that we view Corvette owners as "Pousers"....just barely a notch higher up the food chain than ricers.

[HardStarboard]

I own a Land Cruiser and a Mini cooper, so on the average I'm acceptable to the envirosocialisturkeys.

[cardinal4]

Being financially embarassed

LOL! Thats what I am today, I just found out Im about to be laid off. The H2 is more of a pipe dream now!

[Mama Shawna]

My 1998 1ton Chevy Silverado, crew cab, with the 454 VORTEC engine is needed to tow my 22 foot, gas-guzzling BAYLINER power boat, when I want to go out and drop my CRAB pots to get some great Puget Sound dungeness! Screw these jealous litte whiney-a$$es!

Mama

[Petronski]

Personally, I drive a Ford Focus most of the time - to save gas on my long commute.

I drive 40k miles per year...in a Ford Crown Victoria. Screw mileage, I want to be comfortable and go fast.

[NEWwoman]

When I lived in Colorado, I was driving a small Toyato 4WD. It got stuck on the roads when I was going home as a blizzard was coming in. It was a driver in an SUV that stopped and picked me up and drove me into town, where I could wait out the storm. I got home safely the next day. Thank God for the SUVs!

[freedomlover]

l SUVs like the Toyota LandCruiser are just as happy driving on the road or up a shallow riverbed.

LOL true but they ride about as rough either way. I drove one for a summer and even as a 20 year old it gave me headaches.

[Henrietta]

"Corvette owners do not buy 6000lb 4 wheel drive SUV's to drive to soccer practice. They buy cars that are used for their intended purpose."

Sometimes the intended purpose of an SUV is to drive to soccer practice. I doubt the kids and all their gear would fit in a 'vette.