SUV Owners Shouldn't Read This

newspaper syndication ^ | March 22, 2003 | Donald "Lefty" Kaul

[newgeezer]

There are few things more misleadingly named than the Sports Utility Vehicle, which is neither sporty nor particularly utilitarian.

Oh, it's advertised as useful, I'll grant you that. And maybe it is, if you live in a remote mountain village where you occasionally have to drive over a rock-strewn field in bad weather to get where you're going. But most of the people who do things like that wouldn't be caught sober in one of the modern, fancy-schmansy SUVs, with the soft ride and the leather seats and cup-holders. (Real mountain people drive pickup trucks with a gun-rack in back of their heads.)

No, SUVs are bought, for the most part, by city folk, many of them suburban mothers who use them to cart kids around, with side trips to the supermarket. They claim that they buy them because they are:

1. Roomy (for the kids, you know)
2. Safe (don't want to be out there in a tin can)
3. Able to travel in inclement weather (because of the four-wheel drive so many of them have)

Which would be fine, except that none of those things is true. By the numbers:

1. Even the biggest SUVs (and there are some monsters) don't have any more passenger room than, say, a full-sized minivan, which costs thousands of dollars less and is easier to park.
2. SUVs have the distinction of being both more dangerous to themselves and more dangerous to other cars than other vehicles. Because of their high center of gravity, they have a distressing tendency to roll over and their fatality rates are higher than traditional vehicles (6 percent higher on the average; 8 percent in the bigger models). However, because of their huge size, in a collision with a normal-sized car, they are more apt to kill the occupants of the other vehicle. A Chevy Tahoe, for example, kills 122 people for every 1 million models on the road, while a Honda Accord kills only 21. This what's known as a lose/lose situation.
3. Inclement weather? Don't make me laugh. People with SUVs think inclement weather is when you can't play golf. For the occasional snowy day in most areas there are better ways to get around. SUVs are not the only four-wheel drive vehicles around anymore, after all. There are cars with all- and four-wheel drive that are superior in every way to your average SUV.

Every way except one. You can't bully other vehicles with a car the way you can with an SUV. And that's what the extraordinary popularity of the SUV is about---bullying.

Keith Bradsher, a New York Times reporter who been waging a crusade against SUVs for years now, has just published a book, High and Mighty, which documents the case against the vehicle. In it he quotes market researchers who have found that the SUV craze is "about not letting anything get in your way and at the extreme, about intimidating others to get out of your way."

SUV buyers, the researchers say, tend to be "insecure and vain, often lack confidence in their driving skills [and] are apt to be self-centered and self-absorbed, with little interest in neighbors and communities."

Does that sound familiar or what? Picture the typical SUV driver---the beady, close-set eyes of a serial killer set above a snarl that could curdle a latte. And that's just the women. The men are worse. Think of Hitler's Panzer divisions invading Poland.

On top of every else, these behemoths handle badly, get lousy gas mileage, are exempt from the safety standards that regular cars have to meet and don't have to pay the luxury tax that similarly priced cars have to pay. (It's called campaign contributions.)

Let's face it, they are an unmitigated disaster; assault rifles with power steering. If a terrorist country was trying to do to us what the SUV is doing, we'd be bombing it by now.

Yet the SUV has become the backbone of the American auto industry, and, as such, is with us forever or until the gasoline runs out, whichever comes first.

[Calpernia]

I have a plymouth voyager (cousin of the caravan). They are front wheel drive. I don't understand how the writer can equate them as being better or just as good as the SUV.

I can't make it up hill in the snow with my mini van.

[rdb3]

Aw, man! Guess that means I should feel badly about my wife's new Suburban LT.

NOT!

[biblewonk]

Anti-SUV = Anti-Capitalism

That's a dumb one. There is no one more capitalistic than Newgeezer. You might as well say anti-(pick a brand name) = anti-capitalism.

[newgeezer]

This is America, how dare this guy express an opinion!

Yeah! It is fun to watch people react as if he said anything about ALL SUVs and SUV drivers instead of "most," "for the most part," "many," "typical" and "more."

[Alberta's Child]

The funny thing is that I agree with a lot of what he says. There was an ice storm in New Jersey late last fall that caused more than 100 accidents on the New Jersey Turnpike. Something like 95% of the accidents involved SUVs traveling at excessive rates of speed.

Someone I know at work recently told me that his sister was thinking of buying an SUV for the family, but opted for a mid-sized car instead because the price of gas is so high.

As far as I'm concerned, anyone who makes a purchase of an item that is expected to last more than five years, and bases the decision for that purchase on the cost of gasoline over the last few months, shouldn't even be allowed to dress herself in the morning.

[sauropod]

Picture the typical SUV driver---the beady, close-set eyes of a serial killer set above a snarl that could curdle a latte. And that's just the women. The men are worse. Think of Hitler's Panzer divisions invading Poland.

Like a ROCK!

[killjoy]

I used to hate SUVs. Then I bought one. Then another bigger than the first. IMHO my 2001 4X4 F-100 will keep me safe. I do need it to do 4WD thing when I work and play.

I used to love SUVs. Then I bought a car. Then another small than the first. Now I drive a motorcycle almost exclusively.

[rdb3]

He nailed SUV owners for what they are...Pousers!

So we SUV owners are insincere pretenders, eh?

Riiiight...

[Constitution Day]

It was just a question.

Personally, I drive a Ford Focus most of the time - to save gas on my long commute.

[sauropod]

Ping!

[newgeezer]

That's a dumb one. There is no one more capitalistic than Newgeezer.

I'm not sure whether I was just complimented or smoted (smited? smate?).

But, Knuckle Sandwich Combo didn't say that I'm anti-capitalist. He directed that at the writer.

[ArrogantBustard]

This is America, how dare this guy express an opinion!

The first amendment works both ways, bub. He's free to express his silly, ignorant, uninformed, idiotic opinion. And the rest of us are free to flame him for it.

And no, I don't own (or lease) an SUV of any sort. Though I've occasionally rented one when on business travel. The sort of travel I do, it's often necessary. But for personal use, my Ranger is much more practical.

And I own a bike, too. It has its uses, among which getting to work every day is not.

[killjoy]

Of course you have the "lane darters".

How many of these "lane darters" exist simply because people can not follow basic driving etiquette and stay to the right while driving slower than the flow of traffic?

[Wolfie]

I guess you think Corvette owners are NOT "pousers"?

Not unless "pouser" is French for middle-aged man with a samll winkie.

[Elric@Melnibone]

...2001 4X4 F-100 ...

Would you care to recheck the model on that? Maybe it should be an F-150?

I don't think they've built the F-100 since about '82.

But, then again, every once in a while I come across new vehicles that they don't build any more.

[cardinal4]

This was supposed to be funny, right? A little bit of comedic relief, perhaps? LOL!

As soon as my 97 Cherokee gives up the ghost (not for another 150,000 miles or so)I will be looking for another one. As soon as my wifes Saturn is ready for the pasture, we will be looking for another Cherokee.

[Constitution Day]

Ouch.

[TIGHTEN]

Avalanche! Hottest truck on the road and in my driveway. And I certainly don't need it; I just love it :)