SUV Owners Shouldn't Read This

newspaper syndication ^ | March 22, 2003 | Donald "Lefty" Kaul

[newgeezer]

There are few things more misleadingly named than the Sports Utility Vehicle, which is neither sporty nor particularly utilitarian.

Oh, it's advertised as useful, I'll grant you that. And maybe it is, if you live in a remote mountain village where you occasionally have to drive over a rock-strewn field in bad weather to get where you're going. But most of the people who do things like that wouldn't be caught sober in one of the modern, fancy-schmansy SUVs, with the soft ride and the leather seats and cup-holders. (Real mountain people drive pickup trucks with a gun-rack in back of their heads.)

No, SUVs are bought, for the most part, by city folk, many of them suburban mothers who use them to cart kids around, with side trips to the supermarket. They claim that they buy them because they are:

1. Roomy (for the kids, you know)
2. Safe (don't want to be out there in a tin can)
3. Able to travel in inclement weather (because of the four-wheel drive so many of them have)

Which would be fine, except that none of those things is true. By the numbers:

1. Even the biggest SUVs (and there are some monsters) don't have any more passenger room than, say, a full-sized minivan, which costs thousands of dollars less and is easier to park.
2. SUVs have the distinction of being both more dangerous to themselves and more dangerous to other cars than other vehicles. Because of their high center of gravity, they have a distressing tendency to roll over and their fatality rates are higher than traditional vehicles (6 percent higher on the average; 8 percent in the bigger models). However, because of their huge size, in a collision with a normal-sized car, they are more apt to kill the occupants of the other vehicle. A Chevy Tahoe, for example, kills 122 people for every 1 million models on the road, while a Honda Accord kills only 21. This what's known as a lose/lose situation.
3. Inclement weather? Don't make me laugh. People with SUVs think inclement weather is when you can't play golf. For the occasional snowy day in most areas there are better ways to get around. SUVs are not the only four-wheel drive vehicles around anymore, after all. There are cars with all- and four-wheel drive that are superior in every way to your average SUV.

Every way except one. You can't bully other vehicles with a car the way you can with an SUV. And that's what the extraordinary popularity of the SUV is about---bullying.

Keith Bradsher, a New York Times reporter who been waging a crusade against SUVs for years now, has just published a book, High and Mighty, which documents the case against the vehicle. In it he quotes market researchers who have found that the SUV craze is "about not letting anything get in your way and at the extreme, about intimidating others to get out of your way."

SUV buyers, the researchers say, tend to be "insecure and vain, often lack confidence in their driving skills [and] are apt to be self-centered and self-absorbed, with little interest in neighbors and communities."

Does that sound familiar or what? Picture the typical SUV driver---the beady, close-set eyes of a serial killer set above a snarl that could curdle a latte. And that's just the women. The men are worse. Think of Hitler's Panzer divisions invading Poland.

On top of every else, these behemoths handle badly, get lousy gas mileage, are exempt from the safety standards that regular cars have to meet and don't have to pay the luxury tax that similarly priced cars have to pay. (It's called campaign contributions.)

Let's face it, they are an unmitigated disaster; assault rifles with power steering. If a terrorist country was trying to do to us what the SUV is doing, we'd be bombing it by now.

Yet the SUV has become the backbone of the American auto industry, and, as such, is with us forever or until the gasoline runs out, whichever comes first.

[newgeezer]

Kaul used to be a commie opinion columnist for the Des Moines Register. When he became too non-controversial for them, they moved him to D.C. ;-) Apparently, he's retired now, and writes for fun.

To his credit, he did not even hint at removing your right to buy an SUV. And, by golly, it almost sounds like the "researchers" got their data by asking non-owners their opinions about SUV-owners.

[dirtboy]

There are few things more misleadingly named than the Sports Utility Vehicle, which is neither sporty nor particularly utilitarian.

When I lived out in Colorado I had ice on the road leading from my cabin six months out of the year. I'd like to see this weenie get a Prius up that - it required four wheel drive.

[www.corvettewave.com]

God article. He nailed SUV owners for what they are...Pousers!

[Joe Brower]

[www.corvettewave.com]

Should read "Good article".

[x1stcav]

Judging from his writing, this fellow doesn't know much about automobiles.

As a matter of fact, what we have here may be a non-autoowning Commie along the lines of Ralph Nader.

[the gillman@blacklagoon.com]

...A Chevy Tahoe, for example, kills 122 people for every 1 million models on the road...

Bwahahahahaha! When SUV's attack!

I've yet to see one of them start themselves up and go out around town looking for innocent victims.

Maybe these renegades are being driven by runaway assault rifles. Have to be a rifle, a handgun couldn't reach the pedals.

[ClearCase_guy]

I think it would be best if we established a Committee of Public Safety and had nice fellows like this tell us what we can buy, and what we can't buy. I don't feel competent to spend my own money on things like transportation choices. Maybe he can take my money and make the right choice for me.

[RightWhale]

There are some huge SUVs. The more popular ones are not all so big, but they are roomy inside like the station wagons they used to make years ago. Just modern style station wagons.

[killjoy]

"about not letting anything get in your way and at the extreme, about intimidating others to get out of your way."

If this is true, then why do they always drive 10mph UNDER the speed limit while sitting in the fast lane? I WISH suv drivers would drive more offensively. Then I wouldn't have to spend so much energy always passing them.

[EdReform]

BTTT for later...

[newgeezer]

Yeah, that one was easy enough to translate. Did you also mean, "poseurs" (rather than pousers)?

[biblewonk]

Good article. I just biked past an H2 this morning. What a POS!

[freedomlover]

I used to hate SUVs. Then I bought one. Then another bigger than the first. IMHO my 2001 4X4 F-100 will keep me safe. I do need it to do 4WD thing when I work and play.

I'll give it up when you peel my cold dead hands from the steering wheel.

[citabria]

Don't know what a "pouser" is but I had an SUV before they were "kewl". 1987 BIGGG Blazer. Gonna keep it too.

I've had three Vettes too. Wish I still had the '59. lol

Fregards,

[kaktuskid]

Of course you have the "lane darters"...the little putzes who drive souped up Honda CRXs and Geo Metros...who dart from lane to lane and/or dart across several lanes to exit the freeway (occasionally spinning out!)

[tcostell]

And that's what the extraordinary popularity of the SUV is about---bullying.

I think someone got his feelings hurt when his electric car (powered only by his own sense of self importance) was cut off on the highway by a Hummer.

[CFC__VRWC]

Should read "Good article".

Oh, yeah, this one is a keeper. Let's look at some of the real "pearls" -

Picture the typical SUV driver---the beady, close-set eyes of a serial killer set above a snarl that could curdle a latte. And that's just the women. The men are worse. Think of Hitler's Panzer divisions invading Poland.

SUV buyers, the researchers say, tend to be "insecure and vain, often lack confidence in their driving skills [and] are apt to be self-centered and self-absorbed, with little interest in neighbors and communities."

Real mountain people drive pickup trucks with a gun-rack in back of their heads.

Nothing like engaging in blatant sneering stereotyping to make yor point, especially when your target is one of the few remaining classes of people that it is politically correct to sneer at.

[NautiNurse]

ping for later read--gotta gas up the SUV before loading it with home renovation materials.

[Liberal Classic]

3.Inclement weather? Don't make me laugh. People with SUVs think inclement weather is when you can't play golf. For the occasional snowy day in most areas there are better ways to get around. SUVs are not the only four-wheel drive vehicles around anymore, after all. There are cars with all- and four-wheel drive that are superior in every way to your average SUV.

Seeing as how my wife has survived three flash floods here in Houston, I had say he's full of it. I'm glad she was high off the ground and could put her truck into 4-wheel drive and plow up them embankment. Heck, our SUV paid for itself the first time it happened.