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Michael Moore Writes to the President (Turd in the Punchbowl Alert)

Posted on 03/17/2003 1:20:53 PM PST by Petronski

Monday, March 17th, 2003

George W. Bush 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington, DC

Dear Governor Bush:

So today is what you call "the moment of truth," the day that "France and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table." I'm glad to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn't sure if I could take much more. So I'm glad to hear that today is Truth Day, 'cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:

1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox News aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of the White House and on to any street in America and try to find five people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis. YOU WON'T FIND THEM! Why? 'Cause NO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives, then, believe it or not, we don't want to kill him! Funny how that works!

2. The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you -- are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real issues are that affect our daily lives -- and none of them begin with I or end in Q. Here's what threatens us: two and a half million jobs lost since you took office, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no one knowing if their retirement funds are going to be there, gas now costs two dollars a gallon -- the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of this go away. Only you need to go away for things to improve.

3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.

4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this war? Of course, this is a war you personally won't have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place.

5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you really want to stand up for America, please send your twin daughters over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits. And let's see every member of Congress with a child of military age also sacrifice their kids for this war effort. What's that you say? You don't THINK so? Well, hey, guess what -- we don't think so either!

6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups. Yes, some of them can be pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we wouldn't even have this country known as America if it weren't for the French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for us? That it was France who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who invented the movies? And now they are doing what only a good friend can do -- tell you the truth about yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the French and thank them for getting it right for once. You know, you really should have traveled more (like once) before you took over. Your ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted you into a corner you can't get out of.

Well, cheer up -- there IS good news. If you do go through with this war, more than likely it will be over soon because I'm guessing there aren't a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam Hussein. After you "win" the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the popularity polls as everyone loves a winner -- and who doesn't like to see a good ass-whoopin' every now and then (especially when it 's some third world ass!). And just like with Afghanistan, we'll forget about what happens to a country after we bomb it 'cause that is just too complex! So try your best to ride this victory all the way to next year's election. Of course, that's still a long ways away, so we'll all get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink even further down the toilet!

But, hey, who knows -- maybe you'll find Osama a few days before the election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis -- they got our oil!!

Yours,

Michael Moore www.michaelmoore.com


TOPICS: Editorial; Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: antiamericanwar; antibush; anticapitalist; bowelingforoscars; fatliar; fictionaldocumetary; greenparty; leftist; liar; michaelmoore; mikeymoron; moron; propaganda; propagandista; socialist; stupidfatman; usefulidiot; workoffiction
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I recommend washing with the antibacterial soap of your choice...or maybe kerosene...to get rid of the poisonous scum steaming from his necrotic soul.
1 posted on 03/17/2003 1:20:53 PM PST by Petronski
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To: Petronski
Ahhh he mentions bill maher, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

...wait...a...minute...I...feel...something...coming...up...

*blech*
2 posted on 03/17/2003 1:23:28 PM PST by anobjectivist (The natural rights of people are more basic than those currently considered)
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To: Petronski
..., a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who invented the movies?

Wow.... with credentials like that, why aren't we taking advice from the French? < /sarcasm>

3 posted on 03/17/2003 1:24:37 PM PST by Hodar (With Rights, comes Responsibilities. Don't assume one, without assuming the other.)
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To: Petronski
Its been awhile since I heard a pig squeal...

You know arguments are running out when MM has to use Bill Maher and the Pope to make his points... LOL
4 posted on 03/17/2003 1:24:43 PM PST by MNlurker
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To: Petronski
Dear Governor Bush:

They should return it to Moore, with a note saying:

So sorry we opened this by mistake. You were apparently writing to the President's brother, Jeb. His address is in Tallahasse."

Either that, or reply with an opening salutation, "Dear Miss Moore ...."

5 posted on 03/17/2003 1:24:45 PM PST by Brandon
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To: Petronski
I'm sure that once W reads Mr. Moore's cogent letter, he will reconsider his decision to go to war.
6 posted on 03/17/2003 1:24:46 PM PST by Maceman
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To: Petronski
...gas now costs two dollars a gallon -- the list goes on and on.

Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis -- they got our oil!!

So what's his point? Fighting for oil is good or fighting for oil is bad?

7 posted on 03/17/2003 1:25:27 PM PST by Future Snake Eater
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To: Petronski
Thanks...I needed a laxative.
8 posted on 03/17/2003 1:25:59 PM PST by clintonh8r (It is better to be feared than to be respected.)
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To: Petronski
The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope!

First of all, Mikey, the Pope didn't say this.

But the Pope did promulgate the new Catechism, which definitely states that GLUTTONY is still a deadly sin.

How's that glass house, Mikey?

9 posted on 03/17/2003 1:26:05 PM PST by wideawake (You'd better look out for me - I'm a member of the F.V.K.)
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To: Petronski
Well, I waded through this, and I guess I will stick to one factual correction, which indicates to me how little Moore knows about anything. Prior to being elected, President Bush had traveled to China, Mexico, Israel, Italy, and Great Britain. Those countries listed are the ones for which I have documentation. My guess is that he probably was also in several more.

Since I took the time to find out about this and it is easily verifiable, I must assume that Mr. Moore is either stupid or a liar, or both.

10 posted on 03/17/2003 1:26:18 PM PST by Miss Marple
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To: Petronski
Dear Governor Bush?

What a clymer.

11 posted on 03/17/2003 1:26:30 PM PST by b4its2late (Law not enforced is not law.)
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To: Miss Marple
No kidding...

Hope he enjoys the irrelevance when we produce the evidence that we were right all along.
12 posted on 03/17/2003 1:27:21 PM PST by hchutch ("Last suckers crossed, Syndicate shot'em up" - Ice-T, "I'm Your Pusher")
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To: Petronski
Michael. Please order some bacon cheeseburgers, freedom fries, a super size coke, ice cream w/ hot fudge and nuts on it.

One of these days that heart of yours wont be able to move around the bulk of 5 people and will quit. You should be ashamed eating like that when there are starving kids in Africa.
13 posted on 03/17/2003 1:27:51 PM PST by finnman69 (!)
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To: Petronski
P.S. I love to see us driving liberals to the brink.
14 posted on 03/17/2003 1:28:30 PM PST by b4its2late (Law not enforced is not law.)
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To: Petronski
Try going to Iraq, or any other country for that matter and write that letter to their sitting president. In China they would be frying him like today's dog and feed his entrails to rats.

Every time this bloated stink bag writes this stuff, he only praises Bush in reality.

15 posted on 03/17/2003 1:28:33 PM PST by blackdog ("But that's what I do" A quote from my Border Collie)
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To: Petronski

Sputnik Design Works

16 posted on 03/17/2003 1:28:40 PM PST by dighton
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To: Petronski
Damn! In that entire rant, not once did he mention FReepers. RAT bastard!
17 posted on 03/17/2003 1:28:41 PM PST by clintonh8r (It is better to be feared than to be respected.)
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To: Petronski
What I wouldn't give for five minutes alone with that disgusting, malignant slob!
18 posted on 03/17/2003 1:28:41 PM PST by Dionysius
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To: Petronski
Someone needs to ask Moore what went wrong last November on 'Payback Tuesday.'

Oh that's right--they can't. He took down his message board when people started rubbing his face in it on 'Reality Wednesday.'
19 posted on 03/17/2003 1:29:11 PM PST by GeorgeBerryman
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To: Petronski
AARRRGHHH why do you guys always have to post what this idiot says.
20 posted on 03/17/2003 1:29:11 PM PST by Hildy
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