AP: Sons of Osama bin Laden Arrested in S.E. Afghanistan???

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan (AP) -- Two sons of Osama bin Laden were arrested in southeastern Afghanistan in a joint operation involving U.S. forces, Pakistan's provincial home minister Sanaullah Zehri said. "They were arrested from Rabat area in Afghanistan," he told The Associated Press in a telephone interview. He did not identify the sons, but said that seven other Al Qaida men were killed in the operation. Zehri refused to identify which forces were involved in the operation. "They were allied forces," he said refusing to identify the nationalities of the forces involved in the operation. Rabat is at the extreme tip of southwestern Afghanistan where the Afghan, Pakistan and Iran borders meet.

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan - Two sons of Osama bin Laden (news - web sites) were arrested in southeastern Afghanistan (news - web sites) in a joint operation involving U.S. forces, Pakistan's provincial home minister Sanaullah Zehri said.

"They were arrested from Rabat area in Afghanistan," he told The Associated Press in a telephone interview. He did not identify the sons, but said that seven other Al Qaida men were killed in the operation.

"They were allied forces," he said refusing to identify the nationalities of the forces involved in the operation. Rabat is at the extreme tip of southwestern Afghanistan where the Afghan, Pakistan and Iran borders meet.

Arrested were Saad and Hamza bin Laden, two of what are believed to be 14 to 18 sons of Osama bin Laden, the leader of the al-Qaida terrorist organization. Saad is believed closely tied to the operations of al-Qaida.

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan - Two sons of Osama bin Laden (news - web sites) were arrested in southeastern Afghanistan (news - web sites) in a joint operation involving Pakistani and U.S. forces, Pakistan's provincial home minister Sanaullah Zehri said.

"They were arrested from Rabat area in Afghanistan," he told The Associated Press in a telephone interview. He did not identify the sons, but said that seven other al-Qaida men were killed in the operation.

In Washington, U.S. counterterrorism officials strongly disputed reports saying bin Laden's sons were captured. They said they had no information that would suggest any of the sons had been detained.

"They were allied forces," he said, operating near Rabat in the extreme southwestern tip of Afghanistan where it borders Pakistan and Iran.

Some sources claim Bin Laden has at least 23 children by several wives. Saad is one the oldest, in his early 20s and has emerged as an al-Qaida leader and one of America's top two dozen targets in the network. Mohammed and Ahmed bin Laden also support their father's efforts, U.S. officials say.

That being said, it's time to resurrect a wonderful old chestnut:

Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell: 'We Expected Eternal Paradise For This,' Say Suicide Bombers

JAHANNEM, OUTER DARKNESS—The hijackers who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon expressed confusion and surprise Monday to find themselves in the lowest plane of Na'ar, Islam's Hell.


	Above: Mohammed Atta (top) and Ahmed al-Haznawi.

"I was promised I would spend eternity in Paradise, being fed honeyed cakes by 67 virgins in a tree-lined garden, if only I would fly the airplane into one of the Twin Towers," said Mohammed Atta, one of the hijackers of American Airlines Flight 11, between attempts to vomit up the wasps, hornets, and live coals infesting his stomach. "But instead, I am fed the boiling feces of traitors by malicious, laughing Ifrit. Is this to be my reward for destroying the enemies of my faith?"

The rest of Atta's words turned to raw-throated shrieks, as a tusked, asp-tongued demon burst his eyeballs and drank the fluid that ran down his face.

According to Hell sources, the 19 eternally damned terrorists have struggled to understand why they have been subjected to soul-withering, infernal torture ever since their Sept. 11 arrival.

"There was a tumultuous conflagration of burning steel and fuel at our gates, and from it stepped forth these hijackers, the blessed name of the Lord already turning to molten brass on their accursed lips," said Iblis The Thrice-Damned, the cacodemon charged with conscripting new arrivals into the ranks of the forgotten. "Indeed, I do not know what they were expecting, but they certainly didn't seem prepared to be skewered from eye socket to bunghole and then placed on a spit so that their flesh could be roasted by the searing gale of flatus which issues forth from the haunches of Asmoday."

"Which is strange when you consider the evil with which they ended their lives and those of so many others," added Iblis, absentmindedly twisting the limbs of hijacker Abdul Aziz Alomari into unspeakably obscene shapes.

"I was told that these Americans were enemies of the one true religion, and that Heaven would be my reward for my noble sacrifice," said Alomari, moments before his jaw was sheared away by faceless homunculi. "But now I am forced to suckle from the 16 poisoned leathern teats of Gophahmet, Whore of Betrayal, until I burst from an unwholesome engorgement of curdled bile. This must be some sort of terrible mistake."

Exacerbating the terrorists' tortures, which include being hollowed out and used as prophylactics by thorn-cocked Gulbuth The Rampant, is the fact that they will be forced to endure such suffering in sight of the Paradise they were expecting.

"It might actually be the most painful thing we can do, to show these murderers the untold pleasures that would have awaited them in Paradise, if only they had lived pious lives," said Praxitas, Duke of Those Willingly Led Astray. "I mean, it's tough enough being forced through a wire screen by the callused palms of Halcorym and then having your entrails wound onto a stick and fed to the toothless, foul-breathed swine of Gehenna. But to endure that while watching the righteous drink from a river of wine? That can't be fun."

Underworld officials said they have not yet decided on a permanent punishment for the terrorists.

"Eventually, we'll settle on an eternal and unending task for them," said Lord Androalphus, High Praetor of Excruciations. "But for now, everyone down here wants a crack at them. The legions of fang-wombed hags will take their pleasure on their shattered carcasses for most of this afternoon. Tomorrow, their flesh will be melted from their bones like wax in the burning embrace of the Mother of Cowards. The day after that, they'll be sodomized by the Fallen and their bowels shredded by a demonic ejaculate of burning sand. Then, on Sunday, Satan gets them all day. I can't even imagine what he's got cooked up for them."

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