USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Military Jokes ~ February 24 2003

68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub and FRiends of the Canteen

[tomkow6]

MY OFFICE at the Air Reserve Personnel Center in Denver
notified reservists who were recalled to active duty during
Operation Desert Storm. We had difficulty locating one
female sergeant, but we finally obtained a phone number. I
put the call through and asked for the woman by name. I
explained that she was being reactivated and told her she
would need to report to her duty station. "Do you
understand?" I asked.
There was a long pause at the other end of the line.
"Honey, you just made my day," she said. "I'm 85 years old
and raring to go!"

[Kathy in Alaska]

Thanks, petuniasevan, for the wonderful jokes today. They will surely bring a few chuckles.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Welcome to the Canteen, kemathen7, and thank you for helping honor our troops.

[MeekOneGOP]

LOL ! This is the first channel surfin', beer drinkin', couch potato Cat I've ever seen ! ...

[tomkow6]

A "Manly" cat, wouldn't you say so?

[Salvation]

From The Beacon Journal

	Posted on Mon, Feb. 24, 2003
	Morale boosters organize Northeast Ohio agencies mobilizing volunteers to cheer U.S. soldiers in event of war with Iraq By Carol Biliczky Beacon Journal staff writer Jocelyn Williams, Akron Beacon Journal Phyliss Hammerstrom, who heads the USO's Northern Ohio office, holds Chap Stick and stationery that will go into care packages for U.S. soldiers. When Holy Family School teacher Annmarie Keogh asked students to bring in gifts for U.S. troops, she got a deluge -- 33 boxes of shampoo, playing cards and other items. ``They were so excited about being asked,'' Keogh said. ``It just grew until we had a huge project.'' The Stow Catholic school is one of the good Samaritans poised to help troops and their families during a pending war with Iraq. Agencies geared specifically to help the morale of troops are especially busy. ``We want them to know that we care about the warrior next door,'' said Phyliss Hammerstrom of Hudson, who heads the United Service Organization's Northern Ohio office in Broadview Heights. ``We're still with you.'' The local office is mobilizing volunteers to write letters to troops, donate money for satellite phone cards to give to soldiers and assemble stationery kits with get-well cards, sympathy cards and other items. The thinking is that these last items will be hard to find in the desert or on ship and will be most appreciated. Probably the local USO's most expensive project is the refurbishing of its canteen at Cleveland Hopkins International Airport. Hammerstrom's vision is to turn the hospitality room into a ``cyber canteen'' where soldiers can e-mail their friends and family. A benefactor has donated computers, but the USO still needs $50,000 for new furniture, lighting, flooring and more. Then there are baby layette packages to assemble for soldiers' expectant wives, booties and blankets to crochet, and ``boodle'' -- gifts for troops -- to buy, assemble and ship. Staffing is tight to do all that, with just two employees, one of them part time, and about 75 volunteers. At the Summit County Chapter of the American Red Cross, two projects in the offing may kick off in coming months. The chapter has received several requests for support groups, which were popular during Operation Desert Storm and may be held again if the local office gets more requests. And the Summit County chapter may begin to amass quality-of-life items to send to the troops -- playing cards, soft-drink mixes, candy and the like. The chapter is waiting for a green light from the national office, which is overseeing the quality-of-life project to ensure that troops don't get a deluge of gifts now and be forgotten later. Meanwhile, the Salvation Army in Akron is offering financial aid to soldiers' families who may be falling a bit behind because of living on military pay. The national office is providing writing materials, counseling and more to the troops themselves. But there is a down side to the donations of stuff -- namely, the need for money to ship them. The USO's Hammerstrom said organizations have to raise money for postage when they ask for donations. ``Postage is part of the issue,'' she said. ``It's not just enough to give the product.'' She has a challenge along that line now. Toledo Girl Scouts asked people who bought their cookies to buy an extra box for a soldier. That worked so well that the Scouts are bringing a van loaded with cookies to the USO this month. ``I'm sure that shipping them is going to be expensive. But that's part of where your money goes when you give to the USO,'' Hammerstrom said. Shipping costs are also a problem that faces Holy Family School now. Its donations have been sitting in an office, boxed and ready to go, for weeks because of the high cost of shipping them -- $1,700, Keogh said. Although the USO has offered to chip in $300, Keogh is looking for other sources of money. Her plan is to ship the donations to Air Force Sgt. Richard Keogh, her brother, who is stationed in the United Arab Emirates. He will pass them out to troops there. To help fund the school project, call Keogh at 330-688-3816. Carol Biliczky can be reached at 330-996-3729 or cbiliczky@thebeaconjournal.com

[MeekOneGOP]

A "Manly" cat, wouldn't you say so?

Sure would. Why dontcha send him over to my place this Saturday night. The boys have a poker game planned and want have him over ...

[Salvation]

I like the deck of cards one.

[MomwithHope]

Thanks to my hubby (army vet) who scanned this for me. It is a Catholic holy card from WWII days. Loved the picture and I have retyped the prayer on the back. Apologies to service women out there as the card only mentions "men". Just a sign of those times.

A Prayer For Peace and Victory
O Prince of Peace, in this hour of great sorrow and trial,
we humbly petition Thee to protect all our service men everywhere,
and to give unto them unflinching courage to defend our country
with honor, dignity and devotion to Thy Holy Will.
Guard our churches, our homes, our schools, our hospitals,
our factories, our buildings and all therein from harm and peril.
Protect our land from enemies within and without.
Grant unto us an early Peace and Victory founded upon justice,
and instill into the hearts and minds of men everywhere
a firm purpose to live forever in peace and good will toward all.
Amen.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Thanks, Meekie, for my morning cup of hot chocolate. I need it to keep me awake this morning.

[kemathen7]

My pleasure. My boyfriend is in the Air Force and currently deployed to the Middle East. I try to honor him and his fellow troops as often as possible.

Did you hear that they closed all the WalMarts in Iraq? Not to worry - there is a Target on every corner!

[tomkow6]

It's snowing like crazy here in Chicago!

[beachn4fun]

Here's mine for the day: Warning -- for women only ;-0

Pregnancy,Estrogen, and Women

PREGNANCY Q & A & more! Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question? Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant. Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college.

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES" 1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1-800-" 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting-practice. 7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space." 8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus. 9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND 10. Cat's facial expressions. . 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat clothes. 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell. 4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow. 3. Eyelash curlers. 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. AND, the Number One thing only women understand: 1. OTHER WOMEN

[beachn4fun]

I second that!!!!!

[Kathy in Alaska]

[beachn4fun]

Of course, I have to share this with other women friends who aren't (Gasp!) regulars here at FReeRepublic (I'm sorry to say).

[tomkow6]

Marriage

1. Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with
friends: You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has,
you wish you had ordered that.

2. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the
wrong man."

3. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

4. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year
married man looks happy - we wonder why.

5. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man
speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man
listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

6. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I
married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't
notice it."

7. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

8. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one
thing: either the car is new or the wife.

9. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

10. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep
her.

11. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is
the triumph of hope over experience.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Please thank your boyfriend for his service to our country. The Canteen is here every single day for the express purpose of supporting and honoring our troops, our veterans, their families, and our allies. I hope you can join us whenever you can.

[beachn4fun]

Ah, now are you trying to imply that tomkow6 is a cry-baby?

[Kathy in Alaska]

This is for you when Barry White comes for dancing.