You Know You Are Married To A Freeper When……

me

[LadyShallott]

You Know You Are Married To A Freeper When……

All of your family portraits are in the computer room

You can only see the back of your spouse’s head in your family portraits because they are reading the breaking news.

Eating dinner as a family means pulling a chair up to the computer desk

Finding a new place to dine means actually eating at the dining room table.

Your spouse can tell you news from around the world but can’t tell you what the local weather is like.

When you utter the phrase “Hold muh beer alert” and your spouse is the only one that thinks it’s funny.

Your spouse has a folder on the desktop entitled “Freaks Of The Day Pics” and you know what that means.

You tell your husband that you are in labor and he says “ Hold on, I need to take a shower”.

Your spouse asked for a Hillary Clinton voodoo doll for Christmas.

You actually went to Wal-Mart and asked if they carried them.

You think Clintons real name is Klintoon.

That on your wall of pictures is Jesus, the kids and President Bush

Your Spouses “To Do” List:

Post a thread Mow The Lawn Get Some Milk Donate To Free Republic

You hear your spouse singing the national anthem to your newborn instead of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”.

In the heat of passion you call out your spouses screen name because you have forgotten his real one.

Your husband asks you to take out a nice piece of silver and you go to the gun rack.

[Eaker]

I think that "Died On Line . Com" died!!!!

[Focault's Pendulum]

In the heat of passion you call out your spouses screen name because you have forgotten his real one.

That could get funny for Mrs. Foucoult's Pendulum. :)

Well I'm currently single these days....and that was a long time before eventually logging on here.

Having said that....It would have been pretty bizarre...she had terets syndrome.

I would have liked it!!!!

[leilani]

"When you only have sex during the quorom calls on C-span 2." LOL! That one's good enough for Letterman.

[Conservative4Ever]

Happiness and good will is a home office, computer and internet connection for each spouse. I highly recommend it. The offices are next to each other so we can talk, wave, blow kisses, but no fighting over the computer. Life is good.

Red

[Quix]

Thankfully I can manage watching Alzhiemer's mother, the front door, TV and FR without a mirror and without turning at all . . . and it doesn't interfer with her TV channel either.

[Quix]

A large Logitech cordless trackball helps.

Of course, Dad has his own computer and broadband link anyway.

[Quix]

Newspaper?

What's a newspaper?

Oh, That!

Been a while.

[Quix]

ROTFL FOR SURE.

There must be a host of single women your age hereon who'd be happy to carry on an FR relationship???

[Quix]

OUCH.

May The Lord's Comfort be yours.

If you want someone to dialogue with online, am available via FREEPMAIL and otherwise.

[Quix]

Computer and broadband wireless always on solved the warm-up during potty thing.

[MeekOneGOP]

LOL! Oopth ! . . .

[nicmarlo]

thanks for the pings, lol:

Eating dinner as a family means pulling a chair up to the computer desk

: ) ooops!

[tubebender]

Your hooked when you get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep until you check your "post to you" on FR

Now that is sick. (tip... It helps to have a always on connection)

[Libertina]

"In the heat of passion you call out your spouses screen name because you have forgotten his real one. ROTFLOL... You have time for sex? LOL."
I think I'm going to get in touch with JimRob and request he shut down FR every Sat. between 11:00 -11:30pm for 'maintenance'.
LOLOL A bit of a short maintainance period, don'cha think?

[Jim Robinson]

Depends. What are you going to do with the other 25 minutes.

[Libertina]

ROTFLOL Hey, Jim, what are you doing up FReeping so late? Looks like you don't need those extra 25 minutes ;)

[Squantos]

ROTFLMAO !!!.......Ya out lived it ?

Stay Safe !

[Vinnie]

"In the heat of passion you call out your spouses screen name because you have forgotten his real one.
ROTFLOL... You have time for sex? LOL."
I think I'm going to get in touch with JimRob and request he shut down FR every Sat. between 11:00 -11:30pm for 'maintenance'.
LOLOL A bit of a short maintainance period, don'cha think?

When you consider how many threads and comments could be posted and 'lost' in 30 min., I think a half hour is plenty.BUT..

The problem has been solved.
TigersEyesuggested position the mirrors so you can keep one eye on the monitor. Then have a wireless mouse in the headboard and problem solved !

Imagine this.. At the moment of peak passion, you glance out of the corner of your eye at the mirror and there on the monitor you see..
OSAMA CAUGHT, nothing follows...Drudge.

The ultimate.

[TheLion]

Guess we should stay single..hehe

[sweetliberty]

"Guess we should stay single"

Oh I don't know; a 2 FReeper household could be very stimulating and even exciting. Might require a network connection though.