The Worst American Cars - POLL

Forbes ^ | 10.21.02 | Michael Frank

[wallcrawlr]

In the Vehicles section we have had the privilege to glory in many amazing new and vintage automobiles.

But what about the duds?

What about the cars that never should have been made? The ones that, no matter how prescient their creators thought they were when they conceived these cars, were clearly either aesthetically ghastly, deeply mechanically flawed, or both?

That list could be quite long. Don't forget, there were thousands of car companies in the first half of the last century, many of which died because they cranked out substandard machines; the rest croaked either from the dire economic times in the Depression or shortly after the war, when the likes of General Motors made it impossible to compete.

But we prefer to focus on the duds we know and love to hate. That'd be the classic bombs of the post-war years, cars that had no business rolling down the highway--ever--and yet some of which became big sellers despite having hideous designs, awful engineering, wretched build quality, and sometimes all three.

By the way, we are aware that some of the cars on this list weren't the last of their kind, but they are here to remind us of just how bad it got, how wrong car design and production could be.

And we also know that this list is far from complete. So you should vote in the adjacent pole to add your two cents to our dud car list.

Finally, we are well aware that some readers will be terribly put off because they drove their high school sweetheart to prom in one of these dread creations (or they've got the same car up on blocks in the garage right now, just waiting for another paycheck to afford more fiberglass bodywork and another set of chrome wheels). But where's the fun if we don't offend? Remember, one man's trash is another man's treasure (hence the wonder of capitalism).

The Edsel was the ultimate DOA car, but contrary to common opinion, this was more a function of market segmenting and changing tastes than of purely bad styling. And of course it doesn't help that it was ugly. The vertical front grille of the Edsel looked like a big nose that divided the otherwise relatively conventional front of the car, and the front and back styling made even the 350hp V-8 version look slow. By the time Ford decided to restyle the Edsel in 1959, the car's sales had slid off a cliff and that was the end of Edsel.

There were a whopping 52 service bulletins (many requiring recalls) for this bastard-child car born of an unfortunate need by Maserati for ready cash and Chrysler's willingness to turn a LeBaron into a Maserati. Not only was a 3.0-liter V-6 a criminal concept for a supposed Italian exotic (putting out a pathetic 141 horsepower), but so was the American sheetmetal. Then there were the many mechanical nightmares from blown clutches and engines to leaking roofs. This car cost double the sticker on the LeBaron and broke twice as often. After all, it was Italian, right?

Sure, the nifty-looking Corvair had some good points. Like a Porsche 911, its engine was air-cooled, and resided in the back, to provide extra rear-wheel traction. Too bad its flat-six engine biased the weight of the early cars so far aftward that the steering became very light at highway speeds; and it sure didn't help that the gas tank was mounted up front, so if you did wreck--Ka Boom! If only the design had been better executed. Bummer. (Watch out, here come the nasty letters from all those Corvair fans!)

There were four-door Mavericks and two-doors. There was a Mercury version called the Comet. There were vinyl-topped models, too. What they had in common was that they were built on platform designs heavily prone to rust (this was the early days of unit-body cars) and weak-kneed in-line six engines. But the cars were cheap and therefore, popular, especially in the gas-crisis years. Not that we think the Maverick is necessarily as bad as what came afterward--the abysmal Fox-platform Futura/Fairmont, and the Grenada, which was still based on the Maverick platform, and so carried forward all the bad-handling traits and massive rustability to boot.

With a 2.8-liter V-6 and front-wheel drive, this was GM's attempt to take on the likes of Honda and Toyota. GM also shared this so-called X-body setup (of the Citation) with Olds (Omega) Buick (Skylark) and Pontiac (Phoenix). The differences were basically in body style, not fundamental mechanics. Naturally, because the cars looked futuristic and because they got decent mileage, the Citation and its brethren were a huge hit (800,000 Citations sold in 1980). But to meet demand GM let quality slip, so problems like faulty brakes and steering plagued Citations and led to a steep drop in quality--and sales.

In a desperate attempt to reach a younger demographic, Cadillac revamped its classic Eldorado to look less like a classic Caddy road yacht and more like a two-door version of the ill-conceived four-door Cadillac Cimarron. Demand for the new Caddy fell (big surprise), and only a year after introduction production sank to just under 18,000 units. Did it matter that you could get a V-8 in the Caddy and not in the other GM look-alikes? Nope. It took another 16 years of awful versions (2002 will be the last year of the Eldo) but the decline all started back in 1986.

In the early 1980s American Motors Corporation (before it was absorbed by Chrysler) and French-maker Renault teamed up to make some really awful cars but none as bad as the Fuego. Thankfully, the relationship died out--and today AMC no longer exists and Renault hasn't set foot on American shores since. The Fuego's screamed "car of the future" but it was more like a bad omen. It came in a sporty turbo edition and even handled decently. But its odd appearance and legendarily short-prone electrical system (and no-go engine) soon had customers saying "au revoir."

Hands down probably one of the ugliest, if not the ugliest, car car ever made. When the car went into production it was discovered that the rotary motor had serious quality issues, so at the last second AMC had to switch to an in-line six, which also required widening the car and scrapping the front-wheel drive setup. The width helped: Handling was fairly impressive and huge doors made the car practical. The car sold well, but after the first year it became apparent that the car was too heavy, too goofy, and far too unreliable. Did we mention its looks?

Were the designers at AMC blind? How could they consistently turn out so many hideous cars? While the Gremlin enjoyed the distinction of being the first U.S.-made subcompact, its V-8, which was introduced right when the oil-crunch hit, hurt it. People wanted little four-cylinder models, not cars that were funny looking, small and oddly powerful. It also didn't help that initially it came only as a coupe. Later, AMC would later add a four-door but the problem was really with the looks. It didn't matter that the Gremlin was more reliable and sportier (in many guises) than the equally lame Ford Pinto--it was just uglier.

We're not knocking all GTOs by any means. The GTOs from the 1960s were great but by the time pollution and fuel-consumption standards had been put in effect in the early 1970s GM didn't have an answer. Its huge but inefficient V-8s were no match for all the smog-limiting hosiery that had to be attached; power and performance both dropped, but mileage didn't go up. Then in 1972 the GTO became an option--not even a model--of the Pontiac LeMans. By 1974 it was just a badge-job Chevy Nova, a disguise nobody bought (literally or figuratively) and the GTO finally bit the dust that year.

The best thing you could say about this car is that at least they got the scale right. It was meant as an answer to Honda and Toyota's fuel-sippers, and it was a small four-seater. But besides getting good mpg the Chevette was a really badly made, poorly assembled car. Rust, major mechanical failures, leaks--it had it all. It was also no fun to drive (unlike those Japanese cars like the early Accords) and gutless. Some people thought Chevettes were cute, though. Who could resist one with glued-on faux wood panels like this one?

If only. If only the Eagle Wagon weren't such a dog. If only Chrysler had changed the body styling in the late 1980s and made it a Jeep, not an Eagle. See, the Eagle was the original Outback off-road wagon, but came out a decade and a half before Subaru thought of the notion. Sadly, the Eagle had an old, inefficient six-cylinder motor (only capable of 110hp), a body borrowed from old AMC Hornets, and a clunky, three-speed automatic licensed from Chrysler. Talk about missed opportunities.

The Chevrolet Caprice got a new, fuel-efficient 250-cubic-inch engine and earned an EPA rating of 22 mpg on the highway. That was pretty impressive, but the beasts wallowed in corners and required great attention to go straight at speed. Later Caprices got V-8 engines and were restyled to become Caprice Classics in the later '80s. But even these faster cars understeered in the extreme and sent every road dent and pothole reverberating from the suspension straight to your clenched-in-anticipation jaw. The fact that they were also one of the most boring-looking cars ever designed didn't help either.

[freedumb2003]

I looked at the "properties" of your red x. Chevette not a bad choice but I am an old Chrystler guy....

[CyberCowboy777]

I have owned a '81 Citation, good snow car - so much weight up front on the front wheel drive.

Bad electrical was my major problem

[CyberCowboy777]

Eagle Sport two door was a great little AWD, fishing, skiing, go anywhere car.

[truth_seeker]

"Some European cars were so good I still wish they made them today. The BMW 2002 comes to mind. With a few minor improvements they could make this today and it would still be one of the best cars on the road."

In the evolutionary sense, they still do make it. They now call it 325i (or 330i) if you will.

The eurostyle automotive press (Road & Track, Car & Driver) consistently use the 3 and 5 series BMWs as if they are "benchmarks" for excellent automobiles.

I used to watch open class racing at Hockenheimring (near Heidelberg). A Corvette and a BMW 2002 went at it. Corvette pulled away on straights, but BMW made it up on curves.

They propped the trunk lid of the BMW to make a "wing."

Today I'm fascinated by the power output of turbo-fours like Saab Aero and Subaru.

In order for GM to be involved, they have to BUY a company (Saab) because their corporate culture is virtually incapable of keeping up with progress.

[gridlock]

What about the GEO Metro and the Ford Festiva?

The Geo Metro was a rebadged Suzuki Swift, and came from Korea.

The Ford Festiva was a cheap German built American imitation of a cheap American built German car...

But my worst ever American honors has to come down to either the Chevette, Maverick or Citation (X-Body), but only because I have personal experience with all of those. Universally, they were all POSs.

But backed into a corner, I would have to go with the Chevette. I had an automatic. No power at all. Bought it used for fifty bucks, and I wuz ROBBED!

[CyberCowboy777]

My commuter is a '97 Sable, been a decent car. I put about 600 to 1000 mile a week on it and do not take very good care of it.

But it seems to keep going - 118,000 miles.

A door ajar issue recently and a sensor in the transmission going out is the only real issues.

3.0L V6 does a pretty good job.

[oh8eleven]

What a great thread! I'm in my mid 50s and have either owned, driven or know of all these "classics." I've been laughing for so long I had to take a break. Thanks Freepers, you're the best.

My entry - the 1980 Datsun B210 wagon. What a dog! If I could have used rust for fuel I'd have been rich. The interior's plasticizers out-gassed so quickly the car's windshield had a permanent fog on it. Plus, the dash board, arm rests etc., became so hard they started breaking like peanut brittle.

Speaking of dogs - at the time I had two kids and an Old English Sheep dog. Fully loaded the wheels would rub some other body part (especially when we turned a corner), and the nose would point straight up to the North Star.

[wallcrawlr]

Depressing??? No way. Light-hearted is what I hope you mean.

[InvisibleChurch]

Sometimes had to start it by setting fire to paper on top of carb

LOL!!!

[InvisibleChurch]

The absolute worst idea that ever made it to production, without doubt is the Pontiac Aztec.

you'll note that no other car makers have come up with an 'answer' to the Azteck

[PoorMuttly]

I can't believe you reminded me of this car.

Two days ago, I was going to Post something about it, regarding the Mars "Beagle"....but cringed too much during my psychological upheavals of rememberance...and the subsequent nightmares (now I understand them...)...but the catharsis brought me some peace...and now THIS!

I would wax rhapsodic about the Maverick too...which felt like a death-trap...but my Dad put Gabriel Hijackers on it, and drove it coast to coast and back...so it is buried with my other automotive nightmares.

I remember every hot chrome rustbubble on that psychotic-designed exhaust bumper.

Now I am visualizing another giant Olds I had...like a '62...the steering wheel of which had to be turned a foot for it to even move the wheels at all.

Are you working for a distillery?

[DigitalSpace]

My nomination is the Ford Aerostar. My mom used to drive an '89 Ford Aerostar that devoured steering fluid like a bunch of kids going through a bowl of candy. Awful car. Ford stards for "Found On Road, Dead". My stepdad owned a '76 Pinto and a 1982 Chevrolet Citation, both memorable cars, lol. My mom also owned a 1976 Pinto station wagon around the early 90's, which lasted for another 2 years before it started smoking and caught on fire (fortunately, nobody was hurt), not from being tapped by another car on the gas tank, but from an electrical malfunction. She also had a 78 Caprice station wagon around 1993 (after the Pinto debacle) or so that lasted another 2 years. Same thing with the '77 Ford LTD wagon, which looked nice. It beat out the Pinto and Caprice... by lasting 3 years (Then on to the Aerostar, which has now beenreplaced with an '91 Plymouth Voyager, no complaints about it yet). I loved how the car looked though, if I had one today I can only imagine how I would fix it up... I'm 21, and yet to own a car. But I'm sure I'll have interesting stories of my own someday! Great picks on this list. The best looking Pacer was the one that appeared in Wayne's World, lol.

[ducatinova]

Misinformation is a scary thing. The metro was not built in Korea. It was built in Canada thru a joint venture with GM and Suzuki. Early models and the Chevrolet Sprint were sent over from Japan. In general they were good cars. Small and cheap and got 55 mpg. The Festiva is not to be mistaken for the Fiesta. The Fiesta was a German designed small car sent to the US in the late 1970's. The Festiva is built in Korea by KIA.Ford bought it and its Aspire sibling from KIA and sold it thru its US dealer network.Known as the Pride in its home market and in other markets that KIA sold it in. It was originally designed and built by Mazda as the 121. KIA licensed the design and built it for cheap. Problems with it were mostly cheap and extremely thin body panels. Also its 4 cylinder engine was not the longest lived design. Each person has his horror stories about American cars. My family had a Vega...lasted 15000 miles from new. Inexcusable. We owned a gremlin Very fast and well built but not to everyones styling taste. There was no 4 door gremlin built. That was the Hornet which was on a longer wheelbase and came first. The Gremlin was a chopped off Hornet. I would say any mid-70 thru present US made car is junk. We had not owned a US car in years ,1979 chevy the thru a rod at 41000 miles was our last until 1996 when we bought a Neon. Total junk. It was in the junk yard at 48000 miles after three blown head gaskets and hundreds of other problems that were the manufacturers fault.

[cmsgop]

We had a 61 Corvair. It was a great Sunday Car.

[ducatinova]

Americans for the most part do not know about the horrid Allegro. For those that do not know it's Hydroelastic suspension was prone to collapes and the body structure was very weak. My father Inlaw had one in the early 70's. He had a flat tire and when he jacked it up to change it the windshield popped out! Talk about body flex.

[ducatinova]

James Bond drove a red Hornet Hatchback in that movie. It was the bad guy Scaramunga or something like that who was in a Matador coupe...remember...it had wings!

[ducatinova]

I read somewhere and I forget where but 1 out of every 4 1984 fiero's burned! My buddy had a white one in college. We called it the Fire ro. You could cook hotdogs on the little grille over the engine.

[wordsofearnest]

Two words Chevy Vega

[wallcrawlr]

I know theyve gotten some bad press. But I'd love to own/drive a Fiero GT.

And on a list of Good non-American cars:
...the MK I MR2 is great...same as my MKII MR2.

[ducatinova]

I have heard horror stories about Renault but my family was lucky enough to have gotten good examples. My brother, sister and I each received new Le Cars to drive in high school. Mine was a red base model with out the LeCar sticker and it's dashboard was hard plastic. My sisters was a deluxe white with stripes and a full cloth sunroof. My brother was the sore loser in the draw and received a five door also white with stripes. He hated it but not because it was a bad car. It was a cramp in his style. All three lasted over 100000 miles. The biggest problem was design of the cooling system. It was a sealed system that if any air got into it would cause the engine to overheat. Lucky for us when Dad bought the cars we were shown how to read the coolant level and how to bleed off any air if the tank went low. Most americans are drive it and forget it types...Once when I was at the AMC dealer getting the oil changed the machanic took me over to a Lecar that was getting a rebuild of its engine. The owner had never changed the oil in 58000 miles. the sludge in the oil pan looked like six inches of black jello. anyway, the three Renaults we had lasted a long time in the hands of teenagers. All three ended their lifes wrecked. Mine was stolen and fliped, my sister hit a pole in her's and my brother was ran over by a power truck.