Posted on 10/02/2002 9:14:06 AM PDT by dead
NEW YORK Inexplicably citing a long list of accomplishments by this years Angels team, a teary Mike Sciosia announced today that his team was pulling out of their division series with the Yankees after dropping the opening game.
We had a good run. Ninety-nine wins is something to be very proud of. But we aint gonna win this series. Everybody knows it. You guys in the media, all you want to talk about is Giambi and Jeter. Soriano and Clemens. Doesnt anybody want to talk about Weber and Levine? Schields and Donnelly?
The sudden withdrawal of the Angels left the American League scrambling for a replacement team. After being turned down by many of this years clubs, most of whom cited fishing and golfing commitments, the league finally secured the services of1986 Red Sox.
You bet Im in! blurted an excited Bill Buckner, before dropping the microphone between his legs. Ive been doing squat thrusts to limber up.
Just tell me who to bean. mumbled Dennis Oil Can Boyd, while swatting imaginary flies from his hair.
The Yankees, however, are not thrilled with the prospects of continuing the series against a different club.
What a bunch of bull(bleep)! bellowed a partially drunken David Wells. Those pussies quit! Now, Im supposed to go out and pitch to a bunch of old has-beens who traipse in at the last minute?! Thanks but no thanks. Theres three strippers at Scores with my name on their asses.
George Steinbrenner, however, supported the replacement idea. Hell, Ive sold the damn tickets. Good luck getting a refund from me!
Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig, hunkered down in his office, was unavailable for comment.
Tonights starting matchup:
Boston Roger Clemens (24-4)
Yankees Roger Clemens (13-6)
Just like Sweet Lou blowing it by not sending in his defensive replacement for Al Martin in the 8th inning last year and then having a truly awful Al Martin in LF not make a catch that led to at least 5 runs that inning. Game over, series over.
Ask yourself how many times the last 3 years the Yankees, even with dominant starters and bullpen, they looked like they were going to go down only to take advantage of a stupid play, choke job, or bad managerial decision?
You could have expressed your opinion, as well as the opinion of those who think like you, much more succinctly, and with far fewer key strokes, had you done so thusly:
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! It's not FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!
Noting that Democratic control of the Senate is at stake in the Nov. 5 general election, Mr. Torricelli said: "I could not stand the pain if any failing on my part will do damage to the things and the people that I have fought for all of my life."
I like Clemens starting against himself.
Dude, what are you smokin'?
I still remember the beer cups, at least one filled with urine being thrown onto Greg Vaughn in the '98 World Series. I remember the reports of the players wives being threatened and cursed in the foulest language available. The name Eddie Whitson ring a bell for you Yankoff fans? How 'bout the World Series that was lost, except for the intervention of a kid and a myopic umpire.
Please, the Bronx Bummers have a great history, and have had a heck of a run, but don't ever try to equate class with that organization and the gatherings of 10's of thousands of dangerous thugs that are known as "Yankee Home Games".
And that's the sign of a champion. The ability to take advantage of your opponents failure at a crucial moment.
The Yanks were on the flip side of that equation last year.
Remember, they had the game in hand until Mariano unloaded a throw past Jeter into center field.
Then the D-Backs capitalized.
That's the way it goes.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.