A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day 8-19-02

Oh, Wow! Now I REALLY have a choice! Hmmmmmm....let's see.......

or maybe this one from nan :)

THE LORD'S PRAYER

(person): 'Our Father who art in heaven ...'

(God): Yes?

(person): Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.

(God): But you called me.

(person): Called you? I didn't call you. I'm praying. "Our Father which art in heaven..."

(God): There you did it again.

(person): Did what?

(God): Called me.
You said, "Our Father which art in heaven. "
Here I am...What's on your mind?

(person): But I didn't mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day.
I always say the Lord's Prayer.
It makes me feel good, kind of like getting a duty done.

(God): All right. Go on.

(person): "Hallowed be thy name..."

(God): Hold it. What do you mean by that?

(person): By what?

(God): By "hallowed be thy name"?

(person): It means... it means...
Good grief, I don't know what it means.How should I know? It's just a part of the prayer.
By the way, what does it mean?

(God): It means honored, holy, wonderful.

(person): Hey, that makes sense.
I never thought about what "hallowed" meant before.
"Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

(God): Do you really mean that?

(person): Sure, why not?

(God): What are you doing about it?

(person): Doing? Nothing, I guess.
I just think it would be kind of neat if you got control of everything down here like you have up there.

(God): Have I got control of you?

(person): Well, I go to church.

(God): That isn't what I asked you.
What about your bad temper? You've really got a problem there, you know.
And then there's the way you spend your money--all on yourself.
And what about the kind of books you read?

(person): Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of the rest of those people at the church.

(God): Excuse me.
I thought you were praying for my will to be done. If that is to happen, it will have to start with the ones who are praying for it.
Like you, for example.

(person): Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups.
Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others.

(God): So could I.

(person): I haven't thought about it very much until now, but I really would like to cut out some of those things.
I would like to, you know, be really free.

(God): Good.
Now we're getting somewhere. We'll work together, you and I.
Some victories can truly be won.
I'm proud of you.

(person): Look, Lord, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than it usually does.
"Give us this day, our daily bread."

(God): You need to cut out the bread. You're overweight as it is.

(person): Hey, wait a minute!
What is this, "Criticize me day"?
Here I was doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of all my hang-ups.

(God): Praying is a dangerous thing.
You could wind up changed, you know. That's what I'm trying to get across to you.
You called me, and here I am. It's too late to stop now.
Keep praying, I'm interested in the next part of your prayer...(pause)....... Well, go on.

(person): I'm scared to.

(God): Scared? Of what?

(person): I know what you'll say.

(God): Try me and see.

(person): "Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us."

(God): What about Ann?

(person): See?
I knew it! I knew you would bring her up!
Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories about my family. She never paid back the debt she owes me.
I've sworn to get even with her! (God): But your prayer? What about your prayer?

(person): I didn't mean it.

(God): Well, at least you're admitting it.
But it's not much fun carrying that load of bitterness around inside, is it?

(person): No.

But I'll feel better as soon as I get even.
Boy, have I got some plans for that neighbor. She'll wish she had never moved into this neighborhood.

(God): You won't feel any better. You'll feel worse. Revenge isn't sweet.
Think of how unhappy you already are.
But I can change all that.

(person): You can? How?

(God): Forgive Ann. Then I'll forgive you.
Then the hate and sin will be Ann's problem and not yours.
You will have settled your heart.

(person): Oh, you're right. You always are.
And more than I want to get revenge on Ann, I want to be right with you....(pause)...(sigh).
All right. All right. I forgive her.
Help her to find the right road in life, Lord. She's bound to be awfully miserable now that I think about it.
Anybody who goes around doing the things she does to others has to be out of it.
Some way, some how, show her the right way.

(God) There now!
Wonderful!
How do you feel?

(person): Hmmm. Well, not bad. Not bad at all. In fact, I feel pretty great!
You know, I don't think I'll have to go to bed uptight tonight for the first time since I can remember.
Maybe I won't be so tired from now on because I'm not getting enough rest.

(God): You're not through with your prayer.
Go on.

(person): Oh, all right. "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

(God): Good!
Good! I'll do that.

Just don't put yourself in a place where you can be tempted.

(person): What do you mean by that?

(God): Don't turn on the TV when you know the laundry needs to be done and the house needs to be picked up.
Also, about the time you spend coffeeing with your friends, if you can't influence the conversation to positive things, perhaps you should rethink the value of those friendships.
Another thing, your neighbors and friends shouldn't be your standard for "keeping up".
And please don't use me for an escape hatch.

(person): I don't understand the last part.

(God): Sure you do.
You've done it a lot of times.
You get caught in a bad situation. You get into trouble and then you come running to me, "Lord, help me out of this mess and I promise you I'll never do it again."
You remember some of those bargains you tried to make with me?

(person): Yes, and I'm ashamed, Lord. I really am.

(God): Which bargain are you remembering?

(person): Well, there was the night that Bill was gone and the children and I were home alone.
The wind was blowing so hard I thought the roof would go any minute and tornado warnings were out.
I remember praying, "Oh, God, if you spare us, I'll never skip my devotions again."

(God): did you?

(person): I'm sorry, Lord, I really am.
Up until now I thought that if I just prayed the Lord's Prayer every day, then I could do what I liked.
I didn't expect anything to happen like it did.

(God): Go ahead and finish your prayer.

(person): "For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever."
Amen.

(God): Do you know what would bring me glory?
What would really make me happy?

(person): No, but I'd like to know.
I want now to please you. I can see what a mess I've made of my life.
And I can see how great it would be to really be one of your followers.

(God): You just answered the question.

(person): I did?

(God): Yes. The thing that would bring me glory is to have people like you truly love me.
And I see that happening between us.
Now that some of these old sins are exposed and out of the way, well, there is no telling what we can do together.

Hi, ping-a-ling. :) Sounds like you had a great weekend learning such special things about your neighbor. What an interesting man he must be, and you must have had a lot of stories to share with each other.

Thanks for telling me about Blood Work. I read the book and was wondering about the movie....Did Clint play Terry? In the book, Terry was in his early 40's.....

It seems the more we pile on Skinny, the funnier he gets. Must be a psychological defense mechanism.

I actually like Skinny's homepage..perhaps next time, he will fill the cute slot....You know the lead in could be-a skinny Profile Page for the Thin Man (since it consists of only 2 graphics and a flag).

I, btw, love his logo. I wonder why he doesn't use it more?

I could look and see - if this hasn't been answered yet! You know, some other dailies do a link and call it "All Previous Theads", but it really doesn't give you "all the previous threads" (I think it only goes back to the last 50, which is not very long with a daily!) I do have a list of all the threads from the very beginning though, and if anyone is interested I could FReepmail.

All those bluebirds are cute I like the one, second from the left, top row, the best....

Oh, gosh! I missed that this weekend, too, Lori! What a fantastic photo! And I'm so glad to know JK got to visit with the Speaker about FR and the raliies, too. Know you enjoyed getting to meet him at the fundraiser.

#142 is excellent. It is so good to have you back.

That's so cute! I always think of Amy AND whoever, too, when I seen kittens!

Thanks Billie. Daisy linked to it on post #127.

Yep, Clint was Terry and it worked great.
Barb said the movie is much better than the book...Go see it, or wait for the DVD... :o)

Check this:

http://us.imdb.com/Title?0309377

Ok, THAT's my favorite right there! Amy, wanna come play dress-up?

Of all your wonderful posts, this one is THE BEST!! I'm send it to everyone on my e list.

Thanks, daisy:

Those cute puppies just melt me into a puddle. How darling!!

I can just smell that wonderful, skunky puppy breath!

Isn't that the sweetest? I haven't added her to my profile page but I have saved it and will add it later.
I like the ones of you and Mama_Bear playing dress-up!

PS: Billie;
JustFrank has a joke he's anxious to tell so he wants me to ask if you are going to leave for awhile at 2:00 California time again.

JustFrank.

Naming The States

Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal, made it to a practice to visit the classes from time to time.

One day a week, he walked into Miss Smith's 4th grade class, where the children were studying American History.

Mr. Jones asked the class how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names.

He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.

From the back of the room a student yelled, "Yes, but in those days there were only 13!"

Great post, whoever. You are a treasure.

Woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?" she asks.

He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?"

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food.."

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. Would he like maybe a steak and apple pie? Maybe he'd like a pizza microwaved or a tasty stir-fry that would only take a couple of minutes?

He declines. "Naw, still not hungry."

"Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I'm starving!!!!"

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I'm using JustAmy's account while she is having lunch! heh heh