Posted on 06/04/2002 10:08:50 AM PDT by GulliverSwift
I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"
So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.
The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,
"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"
The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"
To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.
Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!
The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.
So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.
If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.
Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?
I DON'T CARE!!
Baby food isn't very filling when you grow up.
They qualified for the World Cup. Ask the Dutch about how hard that can be - they didn't do it this time.
Regards, Ivan
Oh so those folks playing beyond Little League are just big babies then.
Shall I put tenderiser on your head before the likes of Frank "The Big Hurt" Thomas pound it in?
Ivan
Ain't that true. Although I don't care for faked injuries either.
You spelled cricket correctly. Too bad you can't spell "Brits".
Ivan
They do play in a stronger group. Still, it is not the easiest thing in the world - the USA had to win a nail biter wth Jamaica to qualify.
Regards, Ivan
Fortunately Brits are not Europeans. Otherwise I'd be obliged to give you the same treatment Millwall supporters give to visitors.
Ivan
Yeah, Texas Stadium has that effect on people. ;o)
Good point. When I was a kid in the late '70's "Pele Mania" was in full swing.
My parents suggested I play soccer, because we were too broke to afford the football gear.
I enjoyed the sport immensely - but by the time I got to High School, I was playing football, where the equipment is provided.
I cannot understand why hockey is big here while soccer is not. I cannot stand either sport, but hockey fans should be naturals.
Thats my favorite part...when the guy trips on a gum wrapper and falls and rolls around clutching his knee, shin, groin, head...then gets up and runs off. I really like it when a player gets carried off on a stretcher then is back in the game in a few minutes....at least I think its the same guy?? All these Chilean players look alike to me.
My only complaint about soccer is the play where an individual wallows on the ground in apparent agony until a yellow tag is thrown. Then he gets up and plays again. Silly.
I know this happens in "Gridiron", effectively working as a free timeout, but soccer is outright blatant. Very unethical.
Unfortunately, Mathis will not start tomorrow morning. Bad knee.
Soccer is baby food. When you grow up you want something more filling.
The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and that could be again.-- James Earl Jones as Terence Mann, in Field of Dreams
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