Posted on 11/27/2001 8:14:47 PM PST by Sir Gawain
LOS ANGELES - A space alien wandered the streets of L.A. for six hours on Halloween night, but left Earth in frustration after failing to convince a single soul that he was the real thing, authorities claim!
Investigators say the slightly built creature asked dozens of passersby to "Take me to your leader," but the strangers just laughed, assuming he was wearing a costume.
"We've missed a wonderful opportunity to learn more about our neighbors in space - it's impossible to overstate just how tragic this really is," declared a source at the National Science Foundation, which has launched a hush-hush probe into the incident.
"It may be 1,000 years before another extraterrestrial lands on Earth, comes right out into the open and announces he's here."
Authorities say the botched close encounter began when U.S. military satellites picked up a mysterious object entering American air space off the California coast at 7:14 p.m. on October 31 - descending from outside Earth's atmosphere.
"Since our military was on full alert, fighter jets immediately scrambled," revealed the source. "One B-2 pilot reported seeing a disk-shaped craft heading toward Los Angeles at Mach 7 - seven times the speed of sound. It moved so fast our planes couldn't track it, then it suddenly vanished off the radar screens."
By the time military specialists and scientists got to the city, the alien was gone - but he left behind a radioactive trail that allowed them to retrace his footsteps.
"From the descriptions we've been able to gather from eyewitnesses, this alien closely matched the classic Hollywood depiction - large, light-bulb shaped head, black eyes, vestigial nose. Perhaps that's because those depictions are based on real accounts," notes the source. "People say it looked like a cheap costume you could by at K-Mart.
"The E.T. hung out with a woman in a pirate suit and a man in a Dracula cape for a while, trying unsuccessfully to get them to take him to Earth's leaders. He also visited six restaurants, 11 bars and a popular nightclub where a costume party was being held, before giving up. The UFO was last scene leaving Earth's orbit at 1:36 a.m."
Government experts say the craft took off in the direction of Sirius B, a star system long associated with extraterrestrial visitation.
"We may never know why he came or what he wanted," the source said.
Boy is this reporter misinformed. Most aliens come from Zeta Reticuli, you eeediot!
Tin Foil hat off.
LOL!!
Kidding! :-D
its too funny... and we all know that aliens are feline looking humanoids.
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