Posted on 09/29/2001 6:47:22 AM PDT by Cagey
Not necessarily, for as we all know all white middle aged conservative businessmen or pastors are homocidal manics or are cheating on their wives. The is especailly true if they live in a small southern town and are christian. Of course it goes without saying that they are also the head of the local KKK.
Handguns have high explosive rounds, causing cars hit by bullets to explode.
"Evil looking" handguns are louder than ordinary handguns.
Silencers work on revolvers.
Explosions a mile away can be heard the same instant you see it (and just as loud as if you were next to it)
Audiences can be fooled that a totally hot babe is actually homely merely by pulling the woman's hair back and slapping on some ugly glasses.
All problems on the Starship Enterprise can be solved simply by "recalibrating" something. Also, on Star Trek, major scientific advances (by their standards) are accomplished merely by considering the problem/solution quagmire for a few minutes or so.
All alien races on Star Trek are perfectly identical to human beings in every respect, except their foreheads are f**ked up somehow.
The "new guy" in high school always falls, immediately ("unintentionally" of course), for the girlfriend of the campus bully, town bully, psycho wack job, etc. Also, the bully's dad is always the town sheriff, who is corrupt.
If the setting is not a high school, same principle applies. See "Roadhouse" where Patrick Swayze falls for the one girl in town that the evil rich guy (Ben Gazzara) has the hots for.
Nobody in a television show ever watches TV, even though America is a nation of couch potatoes.
Evil rich guys, mobsters, etc. never transfer the fork from their left hand to their right hand after cutting a piece of steak or food, even though they're playing an American character.
Since the law was passed in 1985 in Hollywood, all police captains, chiefs, etc. must be African-American.
Full-scale shootouts can occur in a major city. When the smoke clears, the survivors get in their cars and drive off. No cops ever show up.
When one car is about to smash into another car, on a flat and straight street, the moving car flies over the stationary car, even though there is no ramp visible.
Cars can speed down city sidewalks, loaded with pedestrians, and yet not a single person gets hit by the speeding car.
All computers make beeping noises that correspond with every keystroke seen on the monitor, even though if real computers actually did this, 99% of us would go bonkers after 5 minutes of that crap.
Computers in movies, "present day" movies, do things that are technologically impossible, thus fooling the few remaining Americans left who haven't bought a computer yet, used a computer, that computers can really do that stuff.
Leading male sex symbols, when boarding a plane, always just happen to get seated next to a hot babe, not some fat slob housewife from Sheboygan.
Things we have been taught by FR:
All posts have been posted somewhere before and there is a group of people that know exactly how many times these posts have been posted and their only purpose in life is to bump the repeated posts to the top by reminding everyone that posts have been posted before instead of letting the moderators take care of it. :^)
And conversely; When a Russian or German agent, posing as an American, is found out, he will suddenly develop a Russian or German accent.
Or how about:
No matter how old and wrinkled a man is, his wife/girlfriend will always be a 20 something super model.
A pair of glasses will disguise your identity from anyone, a la Clark Kent.
Thanks, Cagey. This is fun!
In any cheap teenage horror flick, the guy with the chainsaw will be behind the THIRD door that is opened.
All guns, semiautomatic or otherwise, have an unlimited supply of bullets.
Don't thank me, I just posted it. You'll find that FReepers are some of the most witty people you'll ever get to know. The responses here are incredible.
Liberals have no sense of humour.
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