they all use headsets. and the whistle i blow into the phone must go in one ear and out the other
Posted on 02/06/2018 1:18:28 PM PST by huckfillary
Let's face it, nobody but my mother-in-law likes phone solicitors. She'll talk to them for hours and the Jehovah's Witnesses that knock on her door every Saturday morning. She once hung up on my wife because the Jehovah's witnesses were knocking on the door.
But this is mostly about handling phone solicitors. The phone rings. You know immediately it's a solicitor.
Homeowner: This is Chief Inspector Flanagan from Homicide. You've called in the middle of a crime scene investigation. The homeowner was found dead a short while ago. But while you're on the phone, let me ask you some questions about your relationship with the deceased.
In no time at all, the solicitor will have hung up.
I get them on my cell phone.
I have tow versions, one safe for work.
“We have an unbelievable special, Brawndo, the Thirst Mutilator for only 2.99 a 12-pack! It’s like riding a dinosaur on a rocket! It’s like shaving your chest with a lawnmower! It’s got 85 million tons of TNT in each ounce! It’s BRAWNDO!”
Done in the same frenetic manner as when Jerry Carroll (Doctor Jerry of WPIX-FM) did the Crazy Eddie commercials.
One telemarketer scammer response was “(bleep) you, by the way that was pretty good”.
Somebody else was. I never wanted that kind of job. But it was a legal one.
I bet that if I ever did I could tell the hyper judgmental folks just by asking them how their day was. Someone who came back with an arch answer, I’d say “Bless your heart” and hang up. If they were sad or happy then I could be sympathetic or cheerful.
I usually just hang up immediately after I hear an Indian accent: “This is Vijay from Bombay and your computer is werrry, werrry sick!”
However on a few occasions, I have been known to do the following:
“Oh, I’m so glad you called. My computer is making this really weird noise. Wanna hear?”
Then I blow several blasts on a police whistle into the receiver, loud as I can manage.
Oh my dear Indian pal. Even sicker is the game they’ve put you up to.
(if i got a call like that, which clearly was a hoax — but I never got one yet)
Or, "we just got back from his/her funeral!"
Here’s my favorite
Caller : Hello, would you like us to clean your Ducts
Me : why yes, I think they are rather dirty
Caller : Well let me tell you about our...
Me (interrupting) : Do you want me to load them up and bring them to your shop?
Caller : wait..what
Me : I can bring them over, or you can clean them at my place?
Caller : I am calling with an offer to clean your ducts!
Me : Exactly, I have 12 ducKs in my back yard
For some reason the Air Duct cleaning guy always hangs up!
Sometimes when they spoof a local number I like to carry on a conversation about the town or some long lost friend or cousin that lives there or used to live there.
I ask if they know my cousin Jimmy or Jerry or Esther. Then I ask if they’ve had the hot beef sandwich special at the diner because I’ve been thinking of going there for lunch. If they see Jimmy or Jerry or Esther ask them if they’s like to meet us there.
Maybe 6:00? etc.
This is what I enjoy,
Well hello, why you sound really hot. What are you wearing right now? Hey, wait just a minute..........
Okay, that’s better
Ummmm uhhhh what are you wearing hmm ohhhhh
Ya that’s it baby give it to me.
Who’s your daddy yeah!
Cannot get anywhere with that method with recorded robo calls.
Our police department has released numerous warnings about all of the scams claiming to be raising money for law enforcement and so on. Why anyone believes it is OK because that thief needs a job, well, that just stinks.
I play with them if I have time. The robo ones, I hang up and put it on my block list. That is limited, though, so will run out of space eventually. And, the spoofing gets around it too.
The Windows ones can be fun. I go through all sorts of stuff and then tell them I have an Apple or something. My husband has learned some choice phrases in various languages and gets some really good reactions. For people who speak poor English, they sure can cuss up a storm.
I once was a telemarketer, a good one, but that was 32 years ago. Appointment setting, true, but still not welcomed by some. We did not scam or steal, though, so there is that.
they all use headsets. and the whistle i blow into the phone must go in one ear and out the other
The a$$hole who poses as the Attorney General of Virginia refuses to do anything about that in this state. Something like 27 states have stopped it but not the pinkos leading this once great place to live.
“Hello, this is Lenny”
I had two calls to my cell phone that was spoofing MY number!
As long as you’re on the line, can you tell us where you were on the evening of July 22, 1973...?
Could be.
I will give a certain amount of money to someone on the street because I’d rather be scammed than turn down someone who really needs help. Not over the phone, though.
I might try that next time. I’m about due.
My mother was named Marjorie; maybe that’s how they got the but it’s not spelled the same, she never lived at this address, she didn’t owe anybody any money, all bills were in my father’s nsme, and she’ dead now. Which is probably what I’ll tell them.
You would not BELIEVE what I have heard after that......
I imagine that would get his blood pressure up. 😀😆
I prefer to torture them.
About 2 years ago I would get a call about every hour and a half from some company in India (you can tell by the lilting accent).
They were calling me about repairing and getting rid of a pesky computer virus I had at the time, how did they know I had it, they probably planted it.
They kept representing themselves as a Micro Soft affiliate, I knew they were lying because I actually called the Micro Soft help line to get rid of the virus.
These calls went on for about 3 weeks with them asking for my passwords and credit card numbers which I refused to give.
After the real Micro Soft repaired the problem, the calls kept coming, a different person every time.
So finally one day I told them I was really grateful that they called but they were to late.
When asked why it was to late, and that they could guarantee the repair, I just told them that my computer was dead.
The sales rep asked me what I meant by my computer was dead, so I told him I put a 45 caliber slug through it’s hard drive.
He obviously didn’t understand what I meant, so he asked me again “how could it be dead”.
I told him “I took it out to my front yard and SHOT IT DEAD with my 45 Long Colt Pistol”.
Absolute silence on the other end of the line, never got another call from those crooked a$$wipes again.
You can be as nice to those people as you like, just remember they are all crooks and take advantage of vulnerable people as often as they can, they are SCUM.
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