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How to Deal With Telephone Solicitors
Artful Dilettante ^ | February 6, 2018 | Artful Dilettante

Posted on 02/06/2018 1:18:28 PM PST by huckfillary

Let's face it, nobody but my mother-in-law likes phone solicitors. She'll talk to them for hours and the Jehovah's Witnesses that knock on her door every Saturday morning. She once hung up on my wife because the Jehovah's witnesses were knocking on the door.

But this is mostly about handling phone solicitors. The phone rings. You know immediately it's a solicitor.

Homeowner: This is Chief Inspector Flanagan from Homicide. You've called in the middle of a crime scene investigation. The homeowner was found dead a short while ago. But while you're on the phone, let me ask you some questions about your relationship with the deceased.

In no time at all, the solicitor will have hung up.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: bloggers; blogpimp; phonesolicitors
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To: corlorde

I get them on my cell phone.

I have tow versions, one safe for work.

“We have an unbelievable special, Brawndo, the Thirst Mutilator for only 2.99 a 12-pack! It’s like riding a dinosaur on a rocket! It’s like shaving your chest with a lawnmower! It’s got 85 million tons of TNT in each ounce! It’s BRAWNDO!”

Done in the same frenetic manner as when Jerry Carroll (Doctor Jerry of WPIX-FM) did the Crazy Eddie commercials.

One telemarketer scammer response was “(bleep) you, by the way that was pretty good”.


121 posted on 02/06/2018 3:30:10 PM PST by Fred Hayek (The Democratic Party is now the operational arm of the CPUSA)
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To: SamAdams76

Somebody else was. I never wanted that kind of job. But it was a legal one.

I bet that if I ever did I could tell the hyper judgmental folks just by asking them how their day was. Someone who came back with an arch answer, I’d say “Bless your heart” and hang up. If they were sad or happy then I could be sympathetic or cheerful.


122 posted on 02/06/2018 3:36:29 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (Tryin' hard to win the No-Bull Prize.)
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To: huckfillary

I usually just hang up immediately after I hear an Indian accent: “This is Vijay from Bombay and your computer is werrry, werrry sick!”

However on a few occasions, I have been known to do the following:

“Oh, I’m so glad you called. My computer is making this really weird noise. Wanna hear?”

Then I blow several blasts on a police whistle into the receiver, loud as I can manage.


123 posted on 02/06/2018 3:39:17 PM PST by Nothingburger
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To: Nothingburger

Oh my dear Indian pal. Even sicker is the game they’ve put you up to.

(if i got a call like that, which clearly was a hoax — but I never got one yet)


124 posted on 02/06/2018 3:44:24 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (Tryin' hard to win the No-Bull Prize.)
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To: huckfillary
I have a siren on my cell phone that sounds like the sirens are coming from outside. I hit the siren when they start speaking and scream the cops are here and somebody's been shot!

Or, "we just got back from his/her funeral!"

125 posted on 02/06/2018 3:50:27 PM PST by Road Warrior ‘04 (Molon Labe! (Oathkeeper))
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To: huckfillary

Here’s my favorite

Caller : Hello, would you like us to clean your Ducts
Me : why yes, I think they are rather dirty
Caller : Well let me tell you about our...
Me (interrupting) : Do you want me to load them up and bring them to your shop?
Caller : wait..what
Me : I can bring them over, or you can clean them at my place?
Caller : I am calling with an offer to clean your ducts!

Me : Exactly, I have 12 ducKs in my back yard

For some reason the Air Duct cleaning guy always hangs up!


126 posted on 02/06/2018 3:54:13 PM PST by Steven Tyler
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To: All

Sometimes when they spoof a local number I like to carry on a conversation about the town or some long lost friend or cousin that lives there or used to live there.

I ask if they know my cousin Jimmy or Jerry or Esther. Then I ask if they’ve had the hot beef sandwich special at the diner because I’ve been thinking of going there for lunch. If they see Jimmy or Jerry or Esther ask them if they’s like to meet us there.

Maybe 6:00? etc.


127 posted on 02/06/2018 4:00:48 PM PST by John Milner (Marching for Peace is like breathing for food.)
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To: John Milner

This is what I enjoy,
Well hello, why you sound really hot. What are you wearing right now? Hey, wait just a minute..........
Okay, that’s better
Ummmm uhhhh what are you wearing hmm ohhhhh
Ya that’s it baby give it to me.
Who’s your daddy yeah!


128 posted on 02/06/2018 4:12:13 PM PST by Keyhopper (Indians had bad immigration laws)
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To: huckfillary

Cannot get anywhere with that method with recorded robo calls.


129 posted on 02/06/2018 4:14:04 PM PST by ridesthemiles
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To: Bryanw92

Our police department has released numerous warnings about all of the scams claiming to be raising money for law enforcement and so on. Why anyone believes it is OK because that thief needs a job, well, that just stinks.
I play with them if I have time. The robo ones, I hang up and put it on my block list. That is limited, though, so will run out of space eventually. And, the spoofing gets around it too.
The Windows ones can be fun. I go through all sorts of stuff and then tell them I have an Apple or something. My husband has learned some choice phrases in various languages and gets some really good reactions. For people who speak poor English, they sure can cuss up a storm.
I once was a telemarketer, a good one, but that was 32 years ago. Appointment setting, true, but still not welcomed by some. We did not scam or steal, though, so there is that.


130 posted on 02/06/2018 4:16:01 PM PST by ozaukeemom (9/11/01 Never Forget. Never.)
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To: huckfillary
they all use headsets. and the whistle i blow into the phone must go in one ear and out the other
131 posted on 02/06/2018 4:28:52 PM PST by Chode (You have all of the resources you are going to have. Abandon your illusions and plan accordingly.)
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To: corlorde

The a$$hole who poses as the Attorney General of Virginia refuses to do anything about that in this state. Something like 27 states have stopped it but not the pinkos leading this once great place to live.


132 posted on 02/06/2018 4:43:34 PM PST by Portcall24
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To: huckfillary

“Hello, this is Lenny”


133 posted on 02/06/2018 4:44:08 PM PST by Portcall24
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To: corlorde

I had two calls to my cell phone that was spoofing MY number!


134 posted on 02/06/2018 4:46:18 PM PST by OwenKellogg (Merry Christmas!)
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To: HiTech RedNeck

As long as you’re on the line, can you tell us where you were on the evening of July 22, 1973...?


135 posted on 02/06/2018 4:51:42 PM PST by publius911 (Am I pissed? You have NO idea...)
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To: NorthernTraveler

Could be.

I will give a certain amount of money to someone on the street because I’d rather be scammed than turn down someone who really needs help. Not over the phone, though.


136 posted on 02/06/2018 4:58:36 PM PST by chesley (What is life but a long dialog with imbeciles? - Pierre Ryckmans)
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To: metmom

I might try that next time. I’m about due.

My mother was named Marjorie; maybe that’s how they got the but it’s not spelled the same, she never lived at this address, she didn’t owe anybody any money, all bills were in my father’s nsme, and she’ dead now. Which is probably what I’ll tell them.


137 posted on 02/06/2018 5:04:37 PM PST by chesley (What is life but a long dialog with imbeciles? - Pierre Ryckmans)
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To: Eric Pode of Croydon
Then I respond with "Really? Because you sound exactly like a Paki to me."

You would not BELIEVE what I have heard after that......

I imagine that would get his blood pressure up. 😀😆

138 posted on 02/06/2018 5:37:55 PM PST by Mark17 (Genesis chapter 1 verse 1. In the beginning GOD....And the rest, as they say, is HIS-story)
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To: metmom
That one will leave a scar. 😀
139 posted on 02/06/2018 5:42:04 PM PST by Mark17 (Genesis chapter 1 verse 1. In the beginning GOD....And the rest, as they say, is HIS-story)
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To: HiTech RedNeck

I prefer to torture them.
About 2 years ago I would get a call about every hour and a half from some company in India (you can tell by the lilting accent).
They were calling me about repairing and getting rid of a pesky computer virus I had at the time, how did they know I had it, they probably planted it.
They kept representing themselves as a Micro Soft affiliate, I knew they were lying because I actually called the Micro Soft help line to get rid of the virus.
These calls went on for about 3 weeks with them asking for my passwords and credit card numbers which I refused to give.
After the real Micro Soft repaired the problem, the calls kept coming, a different person every time.
So finally one day I told them I was really grateful that they called but they were to late.
When asked why it was to late, and that they could guarantee the repair, I just told them that my computer was dead.
The sales rep asked me what I meant by my computer was dead, so I told him I put a 45 caliber slug through it’s hard drive.
He obviously didn’t understand what I meant, so he asked me again “how could it be dead”.
I told him “I took it out to my front yard and SHOT IT DEAD with my 45 Long Colt Pistol”.
Absolute silence on the other end of the line, never got another call from those crooked a$$wipes again.
You can be as nice to those people as you like, just remember they are all crooks and take advantage of vulnerable people as often as they can, they are SCUM.


140 posted on 02/06/2018 5:54:01 PM PST by 5th MEB (Progressives in the open; --- FIRE FOR EFFECT!!)
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