Posted on 05/11/2017 3:56:51 PM PDT by SoFloFreeper
SANFORD, FL—A newly formed health insurance company owned by a group of devoted Calvinists announced that they will not cover any health condition, since every condition of humankind was pre-existing and established by sovereign God before the foundation of time.
The company, Total Deductibility, states clearly in its bylaws that “pre-existing conditions may not be covered, which include every possible ailment and so-called ‘accident,’ all of which God foreknew and predestined to occur prior to the existence of the client’s policy, and time itself.” The firm was thrilled when the new GOP health care law, which drops the requirement to cover some pre-existing conditions, passed the House, according to a company spokesperson.
“We can now reject every single claim, based on its pre-existing status,” she told reporters. “Whether or not the client was aware of the condition has no bearing; God sovereignly pre-arranged every condition before the dawn of the universe, and therefore we must refuse all claims based on this truth.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Thought the Reformation group might find this amusing. :)
Nice
Ha!
Tip Toe through the TULIP!
Although it misstates Calvinist Theology it is a funny post nonetheless. It does however appear to state the Arminian understanding or misunderstanding of Calvinist theology.
Is it Friday yet?
Most everyone believes that everyone has death to come as a preexisting condition.
Also, so very many people, young and old, have health problems how many will actually qualify as not having any preexisting conditions?
I, of course, am trusting The LORD to live forever. I am rapture ready!
The basic prroblem is healthcare that fails to meet even minimal competition and transparency.
Health insurance is a crutch that was created only because of overly expensive non competitive healthcare. Doctors, big pharmacy and hospitals all must compete on pricing, transparency and results. They get a pass and we customers (no not patients) must pay.
Is this satire?
Why in the world would anyone buy insurance from this company if they are not going to cover anything? Am I missing something here?
Must be from that well-trusted news source, The Onion.
I understand they have the least expensive insurance around, and no deductibles!
The premiums can’t be beat.
Excellent....
Man Receives Gift Of Tongues After Stubbing His Toe
Just curious, why are you posting from this anti Christian website anyway? Not the least bit funny.....
Yea, you are. It's a grossly satirical article posted from a Christian hating website..........Lots of chuckles..HaHa
This is medical health share policy is much better and the Real deal!
$199 / mo individual
$299 / mo family
They are nice insistent Pitbulls negotiating hospital bills down to 1.7 times Medicare payment cap.
100,000+ members and growing 20+ years
https://blog.libertyhealthshare.org/blog
Sign me up.
By Calvinist logic all treatments are pre-existing also so they should have to treat everything.
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